Twins Separating Spontaneously

The Togetherness

My identical twin daughters, age nearly 9, are going through a major relationship realignment. They’ve always been very twinny twins, much to my initial surprise. They still sleep in the same bed, despite nominally having separate ones. They’ve asked to be in the same classroom for the past two years and foreseeable future. They identify as twins above all.

These twin sisters have always wanted to be together.

Don’t get me wrong. They’ve always had their unique personalities and interests. M is the chatterbox. J is a talker, but she has moments of thoughtful reflection. M doesn’t. M prides herself on being a mathematician and loves to perform feats of mental mathematics for fun. J likes math too, but prefers mathematical concepts to hard numbers. J is enormously protective of her sister, I suspect at least in part because of her frontonasal dysplasia, whereas M . M is cautious, while J is my risk-taker.

J and M with mommy as toddlers.

They both love to read and are intensely social. They both have fabulous senses of humour and a love of wordplay. They’re both smart and insightful and self-righteous and persistent and messy and forgetful and my favourite people in the entire world.

The Divergence

I’ve always said that I would support my children’s religious choices and do my best to educate them to enable them to make their own decisions. I’m an atheist, but have raised my daughters within a Christian community and with age-appropriate knowledge of the Bible.

For the past 9 years, I have been taking my children to church. Just over two years ago, they chose the church to attend, and thereby their own denomination too. They’ve attended the Kids’ Kingdom Sunday school program and developed deep friendships. They both feel very much at home there.

Or rather, they both felt very much at home there.

At age 8, identical twins start down different faith paths as one choose Christianity and the other atheism.

This week, M informed me that she is atheist. She’s been thinking about her beliefs for about 6 months, starting during the period during which we were apart. She is very much at peace with her choice. Her biggest concern was how to break the news to her sister. I told M that as long as she was honest and respectful of both J’s feelings and beliefs, it would be okay.

That same night, with very little fanfare, M decided that she was too hot and wanted to sleep alone. J wanted snuggles and crawled into my bed. For the first time that I can remember, M slept in a room alone. J has done so before, but never M. She’s growing up and growing independent. It struck me that with that small step and the much larger faith decision, M is started to tread her own path, not in active contrast to her sister, as she’s done with math, but spontaneously, organically, and age-appropriately.

J took the news of M’s atheism surprisingly well. When I asked if she wanted to talk to me about how she was feeling, J retorted that I wouldn’t understand. I reminded her of the church community members who would understand and would be available for her to talk to. She said she would call them after she’d had some time to think.

And so it begins, the gentle individuation of my monozygotic daughters. I had feared that this tearing apart would wait until the teenage years, when my daughters will additionally be forging identities separate from me and the family unit. Perhaps this will make the teenage years a little less terror-inspiring? Or at least only as terrifying as that of their singleton peers?

Have your multiples been independent from the start? Or has their inter-dependency evolved over time?

Wouldn’t Do Without Wednesday: “Crayola My Color is” Packs

Do you color code your multiples? Or do you have a kid who only likes one color? In our house we haven’t been very strict about color coding, but over time, one twin adopted blue and one green. The Blue Lover ONLY loves blue. He only wants to color in blue, drink from the blue cup, eat off the blue plate. So when I saw these at Target, I knew they had to show up in the Easter basket. I mean, Crayola gets the mentality of a toddler. How brilliant are these?

Crayola My Color Is packs

I am not sure if these are a new product or a limited time thing. I tried to find info on Crayola.com and it turned up nothing. These were in the art section at my local Target, there were lots of different color packs. I know two little boys who will be getting the blue and the green packs on Sunday. These would also be great for schools or sports teams as well as picky kids.

This post is just to share and was not sponsored in any way by Crayola, who only maybe knows who I am because they “liked” my photo when I shared it on Instagram. They certainly didn’t pay me or send me free blue coloring implements.

Wouldn't Do Without Wednesday at hdydi.com: This week, the gogo Kidz Travelmate.

Jen Wood is the stay at home mom to twin 5-year-old boys who are newly registered to start kindergarten in the fall. They live in the Chicago area where it recently hit 40 degrees so they have packed away coats in optimistic folly.

How Do You Do It? Parenting Link Party #48

Skip to this week’s links | Skip to featured posts | Skip to linkup rulesParenting Link Up Party


Last week’s featured posts:

Thanks to all who linked up. We’re looking forward to new posts from all of you this week and welcoming new linkers!

Last week‘s most clicked post was from HDYDI‘s very own Dory, who blogs at Doyle Dispatch about life with her sweet boy/girl twins, wonderful husband, crafting talents, and more. Dory wrote about cloth diapering and all that she’s learned through hands-on experience. If you’re new in your cloth diapering adventure, or are just considering it, check out her post for practical advice on what do to, what to avoid, and what might surprise you.

Parenting Link Up Pick: Practical pointers for those already cloth diapering and those considering it. Nothing beats experience when it comes to figuring out what works!

Joe over at Dad’s Guide to Twins wrote a wonderful post titled “Raising Twins Your Own Way” which really applies to all parents, those of twins, singletons, or sextuplets alike. He pointed out that doing things your own way doesn’t necessary mean rendering a deaf ear to all advice. Rather, it means taking only the advice that works for you. There is no right way to raise twins, or children in general. There’s only the way that works for your family.

Raising twins, or any kids, your own way means hearing advice and following what your instincts, or experience, tell you is right.

Practical Mommy‘s Kristen wrote a great post with ideas for introducing a new baby to your older kids. This is the fifth in her Parenting Lounge series, where she invites real moms to weigh in on parenting topics. I encourage all you expectant experienced parents to check out her post.

Tips from real moms on introducing the new baby to your older child.

If you were featured above grab our featured button and display it proudly on your blog!How Do You Do It? Featured Post

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House Monkey: Meet Mike, Entrepreneur and Dad of Twins Plus Two

My wife Donna and I are parents of twins plus two. In her first blog she mentioned we have full time jobs and we are building a business together to introduce our organizing solution (called “House Monkey”) to busy families. I might be one of a few males here in the HDYDI community, but I hope you find my side of the journey equally interesting.

Learn how Mike, a dad of four, is working with his wife to turn an idea into a business.

How House Monkey Emerged — Mike’s perspective

Even before we had children we were busy. We both had demanding careers. We were getting married and we had just moved into our home. As you know, the home has a life of its own. Things have to get done. Things have to be fixed and Donna’s favorite, things have to be put away. Translated: the pool has algae; the gate looks like crap; the shovels and hose need to be put away. Besides these recurring fire alarms are the scheduled priorities: vacuum the pool; change the air filter in the heater; shut off the water to the hoses outside. Once we had the children, the “simple” list became a book. Now with twin girls that can walk & talk, volumes!

We needed a tool to:

  • Keep track of things to be done,
  • Get help getting them done,
  • Make sure they were done,
  • Reward the “team players” on allowance day.

Multiple calendars, project planning software, and bingo markers weren’t keeping up as life moved away from our front door. We knew we needed something, but “something” was a black hole of thoughts.

One day the aha moment came. It was a simple thought. We’ve all had it: the “I wish I had that when I was growing up” moment. (Cup holders in the back of the car!) Luckily technology was advanced enough to help get it to where we need it to be. House Monkey became less of a concept and more of a “something”.

House Monkey Today

The last two weeks have been very busy as we have been working diligently towards a summer deliverable for this resource. Donna does the front end part of the business. It’s only appropriate my beautiful wife builds the components (the screens and the way you move around the app) which everyone will see. I work on the back end portions of the business, the stuff no one sees!

Over the last two weeks we have taken delivery of upgrades to our technology, specifically for House Monkey software to organize our development efforts, a server to build a test environment which will be the sandbox in which House Monkey will take shape.

Being so busy, and staying up so late on top of “everything else” has been a challenge recently. Sleep and sanity have definitely been traded in for long hours.

On top of taking delivery for all these technical components, the spring sports season is ramping up. My one daughter had her first horse show. I was very proud of her as she took second place in her first time riding without a spotter. The spring lacrosse season is also starting. My son, the weed, needs all new equipment. Not only a drain on time, as the only lacrosse store is 45 minutes away, but also a large drain on the wallet. With spring comes the beginning of the golf season with outdoor lessons, driving range time and (ugh) tee times.

The only sport winding down is my daughter’s swim season. She swims all year, but her last meet for the winter season was this past weekend. We still need to take her to the pool 3 times a week, but at least the weekends have been freed from long meets in HOT indoor pools. (Don’t tell her I said that, I try to be the dad that smiles… and silently sweats!)

Late winter and early spring have also introduced us to the mid-year slide with school work not getting the proper attention. Donna and I called a “family meeting” recently. We sat them down and explained that this is not ok. It’s their only job. (I think we went on and on a little about how we grew up and what we didn’t have blah blah.)

The hardest part about this time of year is motivating each one. One responds to straightforward discipline (take away TV and the iPad), another could care less about those usual tactics, and we have to take away activities. I find this more challenging because we also believe that when you make a commitment to a team, you need to be there. The third is easy: sit him down and have a “talking to” which will be followed by a “come to Jesus” discussion. The fourth… Oh boy the fourth, nothing seems to work! This is a parenting challenge. We think all of these things could work, but it just takes longer with the 4th. He’s definitely on his own schedule. The apathetic attitude is just frustrating.

The fun part of the last two weeks was St. Patrick’s Day. This is a national holiday in my book and we celebrate it. Irish pub songs start the day on the stereo for wake-up and breakfast. Donna gets the corned beef (60+ pounds this year) in the oven early and it cooks all day filling the house with the scent of St. Paddy’s Day. Friends start coming by around 5:00 pm even though we don’t serve until 6:00 pm…until people stop eating.

Of course there are several hops-based beverages available. The house runs like a diner with people coming and going all night. This year we had nearly 60 people come by with about 30 kids. Needless to say, St. Patrick’s Day is a lot of work but it is worth it because it has become a family tradition. It honors the memory of my father and all he stood for (beyond his Irish heritage). My dad placed a lot of value on family and friendships. He was always the last one to leave an event. We hope to pass down this appreciation of friends and family to our children.

The last two weeks (or years — whichever) have left Donna and I very little time to connect. It was bad, but lately it just seems harder. When the kids were younger and not so involved in everything, it seemed easier. We would book “dates” once a month, even if it were just something very simple when money was tight.

Now, it’s so much harder. Every weekend is filled with something. Swim meets, horse events, lacrosse games, golf games, football games, musical concerts, talent shows…. The list goes on, right? So we made a decision for something big. We booked a 6 day getaway for our 15 year anniversary.

We asked my in-laws to help out and that was it. We booked it!

So, leaving right after House Monkey launches this summer is something we will look forward to. It may take as much planning as the Normandy Invasion, but by God we need some time together that doesn’t include talking about work or the kids!

Can anyone relate?

Linked at

The Twinkle Diaries

Foodie Friday: Schlotzsky’s Review and $25 Gift Card Giveaway

$25 Schlotzsky's gift card giveaway at http://hdydi.com My daughters and I don’t make a habit of eating out, so when we do go, it’s a treat. We have a relatively limited list of places we frequent, mostly because M is very particular about what she’ll eat.

When I mentioned to my 8-year-old twins that I’d been invited to a Schlotzsky’s blogger event to sample their new Italian menu items, my daughters cheered, very loudly. Very, very loudly. They both absolutely love the sandwiches there, and it doesn’t hurt any that Schlotzsky’s also serves Cinnabon buns. 8-year-old J is chowing down at Schlotzsky's We’re lucky to live in the Austin suburbs, a reasonable drive to Schlotzsky’s flagship location. Our usual location is across the driveway from the autoshop where I go for oil changes. A Schlotzsky visit is part of our monthly car maintenance routine when eating out is within our budget.

At the promotional event, we got to sample everything new on their menu, the Viva l’Italia line. I have to admit, it was hard to limit myself to just a taster’s bite of each dish. Any one of them would have made a delicious and satisfying meal. With these Italian offerings, including oven-baked pastas, pizzas and more, Schlotzsky’s is going well beyond the local sandwich joint we’ve known and loved. I’d now consider it a bakery café. Even the pickiest of eaters was delighted with the menu! Of course, this being a promotional meal, Schlotzsky’s put their best foot forward, but the food spoke for itself. My daughter M, the picky child, had three servings of the tomato basil canestrelli. She quite literally scraped her plate and told Chef Paul that she’d be coming back to order it again. He’s a member of the team that created these dishes, and his passion for quality was clearly quite as deep as his affection for children. M immediately adored him, although J was too busy chowing down to notice. Schlotzsky's tomato basil canstrelli is part of their oven-baked pasta line. While J joined me in sampling everything, M would try only one of the ciabatta sandwiches. (Oh my, were they good!) The Tuscan had avocado: “Yucky, mommy.” The Caprese had tomatoes: “I only like ketchup of tomatoes.” She consented to eat the Sicilian, but deconstructed, so as to get at the shaved ham, pepperoni and salami, while bypassing the provolone, roasted red bell peppers, balsamic onions, olives, pepperoncini, field greens and tomato. Usually, stock photos from restaurants bear little resemblance to the real thing, but our sandwiches looked just like these. The Tuscan_Ciabatta CapreseCiabattaThe Sicilian_Ciabatta See? Ciabatta sandwich tasting at Schlotzsky's So, M wasn’t sold on the sandwiches, although J and I were. The pasta, though? She loooooved the pasta. (So did I. There was this Andouille sausage and goat cheese pasta that makes me drool to just think about.) I’m tempted to keep going on and on about the pastas and the pizza and the desserts (Austin only), but I know you probably want to get to the gift card, so I’ll hold back.

Note that Schlotzsky’s has locations in 35 of the 50 states, in addition to Russia, Turkey and Azerbaijan. Please make sure that you have a local location before entering.

Use the Rafflecopter widget below to enter the giveaway. You could win a $25 Schlotzsky’s gift card. If you feel like using all the options, go for it. If you just want to put in the simplest possible entry, just leave us a comment on this post telling us about your favourite Italian food. You can follow us on Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest, tweet about this giveaway, or leave a comment here or on another HDYDI post.

Please don’t forget to let us know in Rafflecopter which you’ve done so that your entries count!! In bocca al lupo e buon appetito. (Hey, two years of Italian in college is finally useful beyond listening to my favourite operas!)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Why not up your chances by entering the #HoorayItaly contest? Schlotzsky’s is offering 10 $100 gift cards for selfies with their Viva l’Italia menu items.

Toddler Thursday: Eyes and Ears and Bananas and Nose

Is there anything more endearing than a toddler’s perspective on the world? Yes, my twin girls are big kids now at nearly nine years old, but a few blinks ago, they were toddlers. There are certain observations of theirs that live in a special vault of joy in my memory. I pull them out and look at them on occasion. This is one of those.

Meet Antelope, pronounced “Aninam” in the 23-month-old edition of M&J-ese. Antelope, along with 5 other animal hand puppets, was a gift from my high school English teacher when I found out I was pregnant. (Yes, I had awesome teachers. Who else not only stays in touch with former students in adulthood, but sends them gifts from continents away?)

A soft hand puppet in the shape of an antelope.

On the drive home from daycare, then 23-month-old M and I had this conversation:

M: Sissy Kwirro.
Sadia: Yes, J has Squirrel and you have Antelope.
M: Aninam.
Sadia: Antelope.
M: Aninam nose.
Sadia: Yep, Antelope has a nose, just like you.
M: Aninam eyes. Ooooone, twoooo eyes. Two eyes. Ears. Aninam oooone, twooo ears. Nana.
Sadia: Nana?
M: No. Nana!
Sadia: Nana?
M: No! Nana!
Sadia: Banana?
M: Yeah! Aninam nana!

Allow me to clarify.

At age almost 2, M labelled her toys body parts, subbing "banana" for "horn".When the word “horn” has yet to enter your vocabulary, “banana” will do just fine. This sort of creative usage of the words at your disposal is common to first language learners and adult second language learners alike, and is called circumlocution. Another great example is a toddler saying “wall on the top” when they haven’t yet learned “ceiling”.

What memory of toddler confusion brings you the greatest joy?

Wouldn’t Do Without Wednesday: gogo Kidz Travelmate

Today marks the beginning of a new occasional series, brainchild of our own MandyE. We’re calling it Wouldn’t Do Without Wednesday. (Insert your groan here, over my abominable abuse of alliteration.) In short, the HDYDI MoMs will share with you various products, services and tricks that have made our lives easier.

Wouldn't Do Without Wednesday at hdydi.com: This week, the gogo Kidz Travelmate.We will not accept advertising pitches. The stuff featured in Wouldn’t Do Without Wednesday consists of things we genuinely use, that we feel moved to share. We think you may not have heard of these items, or perhaps we’ve found secondary uses for household things that you might like to try.

gogo Kidz Travelmate

My pick for this week is the gogo Kidz Travelmate. Forgive the goofy spelling and capitalization. This contraption attaches to your convertible or toddler car seat, and its wheels essentially turn your car seat into a temporary stroller. In my opinion, if you’re flying with multiple toddlers, you have to invest in a few of these.

With my children asleep in their car seats, I was able to get from airplane door to my car without waking the twins. The only help I needed was that of the flight attendant who sat with one child while I carried the other out, carseat and all. It took a little creative positioning to drag a seat and suitcase behind me in each hand, but it worked.

gogo Kidz Travelmate in use. This is the easiest way to get a car seat through the airport.I wouldn’t recommend the Travelmate for everyday use. You probably still want a stroller. For getting through the airport, though, I have yet to see anything better than the Travelmate. I’m a big proponent of having non-lap baby smaller children fly in their car seats over being loose in the airplane seat. At least for my kiddos, being in the familiar confines of the car seat was a sign of the behaviour expected of them, and there was no risk of them sliding out. Plus, our car seats weren’t going to be crushed or mishandled in transit

Here’s how I used mine:

  1. When the Travelmates arrived in the mail, I grabbed my screwdriver and attached the bottom to the handle.
  2. The kids rode to the airport as usual.
  3. When we got out of the car, quickly attach the Travelmate to the back of the car seat.
  4. We rolled through the airport, stopping at least 10 times to answer questions about where you got this miracle
  5. Security was the biggest pain, which should come as no suprise. I had to take the pieces apart because our Britax Marathons wouldn’t go through X-ray otherwise, but it took only seconds to put it back together. Of course, the kids had to get out of the seats to go through security.
  6. I wheeled the car seats quite literally to out seats, one pushed in front of my and one dragged behind down the plane aisle.
  7. I popped off the wheels, stuck them in my carry-on and installed the car seats using the airplane seat belts.
  8. I then did everything backwards at the other end of the flight.

gogo Kidz Travelmate

 

Have you ever used the Travelmate? Did you find it as useful as I did?

Resenting Gifted Children

Profoundly Gifted

My identical twin daughters, now nearly 9 years old, have both been identified as being profoundly gifted. This is an extraordinary, well, gift. School comes easily to them and they both love to learn. They’re voracious readers, and they retain everything. They’re more than happy to accompany me to public astronomy lectures, and “let’s research that” is a phrase that’s said at least once a day in our home.

When it comes to discipline, I can reason with M and J. At 8 years old, they are intellectually capable of understanding it when I explain the psychological underpinnings of my approach to setting boundaries and expectations for them.

“You have to be strict with us,” my daughter J once told me, “so that we’ll be able to make good decisions when we’re grownups. I know you have rules because you love us.”

Kids

Despite their intellectual abilities, they are still little girls. They have to be nagged to floss and brush their teeth every night. They get their feelings hurt on the playground and can spend hours playing pretend. They believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. They needed me to inform them that Star Wars was, in fact, not a historical account.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. The opening crawl to Star Wars.

The vast majority of people they come across are incredibly supportive. While often initially taken aback by the insights in my daughters’ observations, most friends and strangers alike will adjust their conversational expectations and meet J and M where they are. Their best friend A almost always introduces them as “my friends who are super smart, but they’re really fun too!”

Resentment Demonstrated

Unfortunately, some people are intimidated by my daughters’ giftedness. Even more unfortunately, some of these people are adults whom M and J love and want to trust. They don’t always handle their resentment well.

J’s recent Pi Day project led her to find out how to calculate the volume of a sphere. While asking Google for the formula may seem rather mundane to those of us with high school geometry under our belts, 8-year-old J was beside herself with excitement. She told everyone she was close to about her plan, and nearly everyone caught her enthusiasm.

One person, though, wounded her deeply. This adult, on hearing her plan to calculate the volume of the sun, repeatedly told her that this exercise would be beyond her abilities. J attempted to demonstrate that she was prepared, explaining what π was, describing what a volume is, talking about her love of exponents. Her conversational partner was having none of it. Finally, the person found something J didn’t know to put the final nail in the conversational coffin: order of operations. J was devastated.

I explained to J that the concept of order of operations was something that she knew inherently, just not by that name. Some people, including the adult who’d so hurt her, needed to be taught the steps in which to perform stacked mathematical operations. To her, it was as obvious as the existence of negative numbers. I told J that I was confident in her ability to take on her project.

She and I elected to talk through her sadness with her friend A’s mom, who may be one of the most compassionate people I’ve ever met. J poured out her heart. In short, she felt that the adult in question hadn’t listened to her. Even as she explained what she already knew, the adult had told her that she couldn’t possibly know enough, trying to teach J things she had already demonstrated understanding.

A’s mom recommended that J tell the person who had hurt her how she felt, but that it was okay to protect her heart.

A’s mom pointed out that the adult might have been intimidated by J’s knowledge. This person may have been rusty on their geometry and been unwilling to confess their own ignorance. Our dear friend told J that she didn’t understand all of the mathematical details that J had spelled out when explaining her project, but that she was excited that J was excited and was proud that J was so comfortable with math. A’s mom knows her own strengths, and isn’t particularly concerned that math isn’t one of them.

Coming to an Understanding

While talking to me and A’s mom about the incident made J’s immediate pain manageable, it continued to haunt her for over a week. She was visibly sad. While it was pretty clear to me that the person who had hurt her had done so out of personal insecurity, J felt that she had done something wrong.

I decided it was time to turn this into an academic exercise. While M played on my iPad, J and I sat down together at the computer. We wrote down what J was feeling:

This adult doesn’t want to listen to what I have to say. They don’t think I’m smart enough to understand π.

Next, I encouraged her to come up with some alternate explanations.

This adult can’t hear very well.

This adult was having a bad day.

This adult doesn’t understand what I say. They don’t understand π.

Next, J wrote in her observations from the conversation. The only explanations that they all fit was the last one: The adult didn’t understand the math and was embarrassed to admit it.

Over the last days of Spring Break, J perked up. I asked her how she was feeling about the whole situation.

“I learned a new expression,” she told me. ‘Misery loves company.’ It means that grumpy people want everyone around them to be grumpy too. I won’t keep grumpiness company.”

I’m sure this is only one of many incidents in which my children’s giftedness will brings challenges their way, in addition to making many things come easier to them than it does to many of their peers. I wish I could protect my girls from hurtful situations like these, but part of me is glad that they’re dealing with them now, while I can still guide them towards a place of peace. As J said at the top of this post, she and her sister will need to make good decisions when they’re grownups.

What do you do when you feel that your children have been wronged?

Twinfant Tuesday: Two Babies – One Pair of Hands

In the “how to cope with twins” section of my brain lies quite a bit of information and personal advice that I wish I had known before my little angels made their entrance to the world.

So here are a couple of the things that I remember truly stood out.

Two Babies. Two Hands

Breastfeeding twins:

Forget all those cute little pillows when it comes to twins. They only take more space in an area that’s already cramped and uncomfortable. Try the “football hold”, so that you’ve basically got a head in each hand and their bodies under your armpits. You will definitely need someone on hand to pass you each baby as it’s almost impossible to comfortably get to that position without help. But don’t worry, soon enough you will be more used to handling them. Of course you can choose to feed each baby separately, but always bear in mind that each feed will therefore be twice as long and if you have to express in between it will be pretty much like feeding quadruplets.

Bottle-feeding twins:

The best place to sit is on the floor, back to the couch/wall, with a baby facing you on either side. You can place them in bouncy chairs or car seats, as long as they are propped up a bit. Make sure you have everything you need (bibs, muslins ,etc) before you start feeding them. The last thing you need is to start feeding and realize that you have to spend the next half hour or so watching the credits of a movie that just ended. It’s quite likely that this process will be a bit messy at first and you haven’t got a spare hand to catch the dribbles. Try using a muslin or even a cloth diaper if nothing else is on hand around the baby’s front.

Burping twins:

With either method of feeding you will probably need to get some wind out of each twin after a feed. I would normally sit one as upright as possible while winding the other, and then swap. With me if one baby finished their bottle before the other I used a cloth nappy to keep the drinking baby’s bottle propped up while I winded the other, and then vice versa. It can be done; it just takes some patience and lots of practice.

Night times with twins:

So our biggest fear in the beginning was one baby waking the other up. We used to rush to their room at the smallest “peep”. Little did we know that this was actually making things more difficult, and that our little ones were starting to expect it. After a couple of nights of “tough-love”, we realized how quickly they learned to self-sooth. Thereafter I was always amazed how one baby was moaning away or having the time of his life talking to his mobile while the other was soundly sleeping. If mine both woke up at the same time it was more to do with them being in the same routine than anything. To get them into the same routine, you need to feed them at the same time, night and day. This means when one wakes up for a feed, you have to wake the other one as well. Really this is the biggest night time tip I can give: doing it together.

There are two babies, there are two parents – it has to be a team effort.

Picking up the twins:

There really aren’t that many times when you have to pick up both babies at once. Sometimes a little moaning is not necessarily a bad thing, and actually if you leap up and comfort them straight away they will get used to it and expect it every time. Twins need to get used to self-settling. When I needed to move around the house like for changing nappies, I simply placed one in his bouncy seat, carried him to the changing station and then brought the other. That way he wasn’t screaming away in another room. However, most times I could leave the one baby where he was, whether that be a camp cot, having tummy time on the floor or playing in his feeding chair and quickly change the other.

In the house with twins:

For us, it was very helpful to have specific places in the house where we could put the babies down. A camp cot in the lounge, our bed, bouncy chairs, etc. That way you can go about your business and still keep an eye on your little ones.

Transporting twins:

Carrying two car seats is not ideal, but this is pretty much how we got from the house to the car and from the car to wherever we were going in those early days.  I was able to do this up until about six months; thereafter my arms simply couldn’t carry both at the same time anymore. It’s also perfectly fine to leave one in the house while you take the other to the car. Just make sure you’ve got your house keys!

Twins and a Supermarket:

This can be a bit tricky. Always try finding the biggest parking space you see, otherwise opt for shopping centers that have “mommy with children” parking. We generally tried shopping together, that way one of us could push the kids in their pram and the other could push the trolley. Be aware that if your supermarket has one of those revolving gate entrances or exits, that a side-by-side twin pram will not fit through. I learned to bypass those shops whenever I had the twins.

Dealing with twins requires a sensible plan of attack, as well as the ability to change the plan when it’s no longer working for you. Always take a step back and look for a different way of doing things rather than getting stressed and angry when things go wrong. And remember, no matter how impossible it seems, there is always a way.

Christine is a first time mommy to two beautiful 17-month-old twin boys that have recently started walking and are now running in all directions. She’s wife to her high-school sweetheart – the man of her dreams and also a full-time software/web developer in the financial industry. They have two kitties, a very naughty Jack Russell and a home that is fast becoming too small.

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The Twinkle Diaries

Make It Monday: Spring-Inspired Craft

Before my twin girls started kindergarten last fall (sniff, sniff!), I loved nothing more than an excuse for a themed playdate.  A craft and a snack to match?  Sign me up!

With our busy schedules these days, we don’t get together with our twinkie BFFs nearly as much as we’d like to.  I ran across this picture of a playdate from last March, and it just warmed my heart.

A fun Easter project for little ones: Paper plate chicks!While I try not to be a hoarder, I still have these little chickies hanging around…they are just so stinkin’ cute!

We started with a white paper plate (I love the cheap-y kind for crafts).  The kiddos colored their plates yellow, and then they glued googly eyes and a triangle beak on for the face.

For the wings, the kiddos traced their hands.  Depending on their scissor-skill-level, some of them cut out their handprints, and the MoMs did the handprints for the others.

It was a challenge for our 4 1/2- and 5-year olds to accordion fold the legs, but they had fun trying.  :)

There are all sorts of variations you can do, depending on the skill of your crafters-in-training.  If you’re brave enough to break out the paints, you could even do some handprint chicks on canvas.  (There are a million cute inspirational ideas on Pinterest!)  However you do it, I think it’s a great way to {finally!} welcome spring!

Happy Crafting!!!

MandyE is mom to six-year-old fraternal twin girls.  She blogs about their adventures, and her journey through motherhood, at Twin Trials and Triumphs.