As a mom of twins, I get asked the same questions over and over (and over) again whenever I’m in public with them. The list is long, and perhaps a post for another day. But easily one of the top three is some variation on “how do you do it?”
It’s sometimes asked with a twinge of admiration, sometimes concern, sometimes all-out disbelief. I usually just shrug, mumble something vague and incoherent, and try to continue whatever errand I’m attempting to run before one or both children totally lose it.
Truth be told, the answer the person is looking for isn’t really there. In the end, the answer is an unsatisfactory, “I just do.” Moms of multiples are not superheroes. I don’t believe we were somehow marked for our superhuman abilities by a mysterious force, deeming us “the ones” who would have high-risk pregnancies, twice the colic and spitup, or extra-large cars. No, we do exactly what you would do if you found out you were having more than one baby. We do exactly what all new parents do. We figure it out.
This website is a way for some of us to share what we’ve figured out (or what we haven’t). We invite you to read along, make comments (we love to know someone’s reading!), ask questions. We’ll have weekly features, including product reviews, food talk, and an ask-the-moms segment. Please feel free to visit our features page and use the comments to ask your questions, and we’ll address any topics we can. Our goal is to have something new for you to read nearly every day, so check back often and bring your friends!
For today’s tidbit, I give to you what I think the most important things are for survival as a parent of multiples. Also known as, “that which I think I have sort of figured out in the last six months.”
Organization – if you don’t get organized, you’ll never get anywhere. Instead, you’ll always have babies screaming while you prepare bottles, or you’ll get to your destination and realize you have two poop explosions, one diaper, and no wipes. Life with babies and children has plenty of uncontrollable chaos. Eliminate as much as you can by planning ahead. With one child, you can sometimes get away with fudging it a bit. Not with two.
Go with the flow – While you have to be extremely organized, I also find that having two infants has actually made me strangely more relaxed. I just can’t afford to freak out about every little thing. Compared to other first-time parents, I find twin moms to be somehow among the most laid-back. It’s a survival mechanism.
Community – Given the stares and questions you get when you go out in public, it’s easy to feel like a little bit of an anomaly with your double stroller. Other, more experienced moms are reluctant to offer any advice because, “oh, but I didn’t have twins.” Joining my local moms of multiples club, and finding this virtual online community as well, helps bring a sense of normalcy to my life. I can ask people questions and they don’t have to “get over the twin thing.” Because sometimes, having twins is very different than having one. And sometimes, it’s not that different, it’s just… more. Having a community of other moms who have been through it already is absolutely invaluable.
That’s today’s words of wisdom from yours truly. Welcome to our new blog, poke around, make yourself at home.
Just don’t ask anyone if their boy/girl twins are identical. We hate that.