If you look up in the sky tonight around nine, you’ll be lucky to witness a total lunar eclipse. Tonight also happens to be a full moon, which you’ll get to see in all its glory about an hour later. I’m a pretty grounded girl, but I never underestimate the power of our solar/lunar cycles. It never ceases to amaze me that on days where everything is out of whack, where our boys seem to be utterly possessed, I come to realize that it’s a full moon. It gives me a strange comfort to believe that they’ll snap out of it by tomorrow, and in most cases – whether it’s the moon’s doing or not – they do.
I have a good friend who gave me a pearl of wisdom before I gave birth to the boys. In a nutshell, she said that there will be days, weeks, maybe months that will seem impossible and never-ending. But each phase is just that – a phase – that will end and initiate something new and different. So when you are in the midst of an utter craptastic place with your babies and you think you just can’t take another day…take heart. It will end. Maybe not tomorrow, but one day soon. Of course like all good advice, I forgot it immediately upon hearing it.
We had some trouble when it came to my grand plan of nursing the boys. I remember the boys being three months old and I thought our woes would last a lifetime. Pile reflux/spitting/misery on top of screaming on top of mastitis on top of having to nurse them while bouncing on a stability ball. Every new mom I knew was relishing the relief that the three month milestone brought them, while I was in the midst of my very own personal hell. And then somehow I remembered that little nugget of advice and I chose to just give it a few more days – okay a few more weeks – before throwing in the towel. Low and behold, four months was our magic number. It was also the time we decided to sleep train the boys. Whatever caused it, we were suddenly in a much different and better place.
Since then I have held this wisdom a little closer and it has never let me down. I call it, “it changes as fast as it changes.” A catch-phrase that is much easier for my suboptimal postpartum brain to remember. And remember.
So tonight I’m going to make a special point of going out onto our patio to witness this dual lunar event. I may even bring a glass of wine and sit on our weathered patio chairs for a while. You know, really take it in. I want it to remind me that moments are fleeting, that things really do change as fast as they change. And how beautiful it is to just soak in the moment, even when you feel you can’t take another second of it.