Identical or fraternal rant

Posted on
Categories Fraternal, Other people

Since birth, my boys have never looked (or acted) the same. After reading identical twins can appear different at birth, we did an independent DNA test to confirm zygosity. It was no surprise when the test came back fraternal. We still get the standard “How do you tell them apart?” question and after they turned a year old, it really started to drive me crazy. Here’s why:

Alex has brown hair and brown eyes.

Nate has blond hair and blue eyes.

I won’t even go into all the other ways they look different – different skin tone, different face shape, different body shape, etc. I wouldn’t mind if people asked if they were identical, but it seems fairly obvious how to tell them apart. I’ve yet to think of a witty reply except:

 “One has brown hair and brown eyes. The other has blond hair and blue eyes.”

Suggestions welcome on this one.

Share this...Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+0Pin on Pinterest0Share on StumbleUpon0Share on Tumblr0Share on Reddit0Digg thisShare on LinkedIn0Email this to someone

17 thoughts on “Identical or fraternal rant”

  1. My response to that is usually….”By looking at them.” That usually ends the conversation right there.
    I sometimes have the oppositie problem. My guys are identical…and I think pretty darn identical and I get people who like to enlighten me that they are fraternal and don’t look anything alike. After correcting them, they insist I’m wrong.

  2. My girls are fraternal, but EVERYONE assumes they are identical. To the point where I called the hospital twice to make sure that when they checked out the placentas, they really did find them to be fraternal. People on the street constantly say, “wow, they couldn’t be more identical, huh?” I used to explain, but now, I just nod, and say ” I know!” It does get annoying, but I tell myself that it’s just people showing interest and they don’t mean anything by it. And they usually follow it up with “they are just so beautiful,” so then I can’t help but smile…

  3. I have b/g twins and I constantly amazed that there are actually people that ask me “are they identical”? Whats up with that?

  4. My typical reply is, “I’m the mom.” When I’m in a bad mood, and someone asks how I tell them apart, I usually say “I can’t. I just call a name and see who responds.”

  5. I’m in the same boat. My guys are so different. Im thinking of saying something like, “Well one of them has a freckle on his behind and the other doesn’t”.

  6. mine are identical and the most annoying is not the “how do you tell them apart” question, but after I come up with some lame identifier (i.e. one’s head is rounder) they argue that I’m wrong. I like, “I’m the mom” so if you don’t mind, I’ll be stealing it :)

  7. Huh. Hadn’t thought of this question but it might be more annoying than many that I get! (I have a boy and a girl so apparently people trust I can tell them apart). I wonder what they’d say if you aaid, “I can’t”.

  8. Not to “scare” those of you all tired of the “Are they identical?” question (that I like Tricia heard constantly with our b/g twosome), but even as they get older, the “odd” questions keep comin’!

    When we got that question when ours were teeny (and even dressed in the occasional blue and pink that you’d think would be a slight visual clue…), I finally just came to grips with the fact that folks are just out-and-out fascinated with the concept of twins…to the point of simply not knowing what to say, but wanting to engage us in conversation somehow! (I did prefer the “are they identical” to “double trouble!” 😉 )

    So the stranger-asked question we get with ours now, with our he-child outweighing his twin sister by 12 pounds and taller than she by 5″ is “So how much older is your son?” When I respond, “Seven minutes,” the response I get 90% (or more) of the time?

    “But they’re NOT twins!!”

    Hmmm….I’d be willing to bet they are! 😉

  9. oye. i have a whole post about this under “grey’s anatomy” but with my g/b twins when i get the identical question AFTER they know they are girl/boy i don’t hold back. i bust out the words vagina and penis right there in public. and then i giggle b/c people usually get uncomfortable 😉 then at least instead of getting annoyed, i get a laugh.

  10. Our twin girls couldn’t look more different… one is pale as snow, blonde hair, blue eyes and the other has an olive complection, brown hair and eyes … and we get it all the time ‘how can they be twins”… well during a shopping trip my husband had had it after having had to answer this question a million times… ok so it was 10 but enough for him… his response to the next person who asked “are they twins”… “no.. the light one is my wife’s child and the darker one is my girlfriends, but they are the same age”…. LOL :) Gotta love a man with a sense of humor…

    My sil (who has b/g twins) often gets the “are they identical” to which she responds “Yes they are…except one has a penis”….

  11. I have fraternal girls, both look like daddy so “How you tell them apart” is a common question, drives me crazy… what buggs me even more is people who we know and see fairly often and they still argue they girls are identical…

  12. How do I tell my b/g twins apart? One has a penis. That’s what I told the last person who asked me. I hate to sound annoyed when I answer this question, but c’mon, Suzie Citizen. Boy/Girl twins are, by simple definition, not identical.

    But the previous poster is right, it’s just the general public showing an interest. I feel like I really try to not be snarky with people, but even I have my moments! :)

  13. I have people argue that my obviously identical girls can’t be identical because of really random stuff. The one that really gets me is that one’s hair is curlier than the other or one has more blond highlights. Um, yeah, but her sister’s was curlier yesterday and that one spent a little more time taking off her hat at the park. Whatever. After 2 years, I’ve grown tired of answering stupid questions and correcting people. The girls will soon be doing it themselves I’m sure.

  14. I don’t like this bit either with fraternal twin boys who look very different but I do agree people just want to engage you in conversation .

    So I mostly I don’t mind – I agree I hate the double trouble though … LOL it might be true at ‘2’ – but how the heck would they know anyway !

    LOL at Robin’s comment … “I can’t. I just call a name and see who responds.”

  15. Me too! I have fraternal girls and they are like night and day in looks and personality. I’ve had people argue with me that they cannot possibly be twins. I just smile and nod. I think the majority of society thinks of twins as strictly identical – some have even asked me if they are “paternal twins”. WOW. I guess they are both maternal and paternal?! lol.

  16. I am mamma to fraternal twin boys 19 months who look nothing alike! Unlike most of your posts, I frequently get the stare down and the head cocked to the side,one eyebrow up “are THEY….twins?”Sometimes my husband and I say “Yeah,you want ONE?”I think what we all need to remember is that twins fascinate the public. They are so curious and yet so cluless.They dont know the first thing about zygosity. And its okay. LAUGH IT OFF!I had cupcake pink hair with orange hi-lites for years…people were constantly stopping to ask me questions about my hair,” is it natural…can I touch it”, ect… and as time wore on I realized that they just wanted to make contact with me because my hair caught their attention and it was different from everyone elses hair. Nothing more, nothing less. Then they say something stupid because they dont know WHAT to say..In the same way people are so interested in the twin relationship, its mysterious and people think its neato, they just dont know what to say, really.They just want to say SOMETHING! So they say whatever they are thinking,and sometimes its just jibberish and bull cocky!!!Laugh.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge