When I was pregnant, I was always convinced that I wanted to treat my twins as individuals, not as a unit. I’d read that it is better for twins to be seen as individuals, and I didn’t see any reason to treat them the same. The fact that I am a therapist and could quote research that backs this up probably just made me more difficult to listen to when I got on this soapbox. I found out that I was having a boy and a girl, and I was so pleased….so much easier to treat them as individuals. And then…..they arrived.
By the time I started solid foods with them when they were six months, I was exhausted. Sleep deprived. A bit overwhelmed by this new task to incorporate into my day. And soon it was: one bowl, one spoon…..two babies. Who needs two spoons? They get exposed to the same germs! It will take me twice as long to feed them if I switch back and forth between spoons! Moms with one baby watch this with some disapproval (probably some moms with two or three babies feel the same way!) But, it works for us. Forget individuals, I just need to get them fed and in bed.
There’s no way that they have the same exact tastes, but I would say things like, “They love sweet potatoes” or “Green beans are not a hit”. So much for treating them as two little people. We try foods at the same time. I offer both of them the same foods each night. I can’t imagine having the time/energy to create two different food options for them! (Right now “they” love yogurt, cheese and beans.) If one sees a favorite food left on the other’s tray, the hands sneaks out and grabs it up. By the time I turn around from whatever I’m doing (emptying the dishwasher, getting adult dinner ready, getting meals ready for the next day, cleaning up toys etc….) the trays are empty and I can happily state “They ate well!”. No idea into whose gullet those yummy fingers foods vanished. All I know is that they’re gone! Maybe when they’re a little bit older they will stop being “the babies”, fed, napped and entertained as a unit? (Perhaps I’ll even pick back up a social life as well! You never know….).
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I totally agree with one spoon, one bowl and one kind of food to share. Goodness, i couldn’t imgaine making two seperate meals and feeding them with two seperate spoons. I did try..but it was TOO much work. Then i also tried to MAKE SURE they each had their own sippy cups…my 3.5 year old had her OWN sippy cup and NO ONE drank after the other, etc. I GAVE THAT UP after a few rounds of sickness hit them all anyway. Now it’s a free for all of everything..it sounds bad but it’s really actually easier now. I actually DO want them all to get whatever the first one that gets sick has…that was we’ll get it all over with sooner…they are going to get it either way…i KNOW THIS because i’ve done it over and over again.
Each mommy chooses their own way of doing things and chooses whether they want their twins to be individulas..i like mine to be one unit for now, because i KNOW one day they WILL want to be their own individuals and there will be nothing i can do later. So for now, i’ll enjoy the time i have dressing them alike, feeding them the exact same foods, and watching them grow into two little individuals with time.
I absolutely relate to what you’ve said. And I can say from experience that the time will come when things are more individualized. For now,whatever works best is the right approach. Enjoy them during this stage!
We did (and still do) share spoong, sporks, and sippies. For feeding it is just more practical, and really…have you tried to keep sippies from toddlers seperate? Ain’t happening!!!!
*oops…spoons does not have a g on the end. =)
I remember just before I was starting “them” on solids everyone wanted to know how I would do it? I said, ” they have been sharing my boobs from day one why should the spoon be any different!” I also agree that the day will come (probably sooner than I realize) that “they” will have a say in what they wear or eat or play with, etc, etc. but until then I’m gonna make life as easy I can!
I have a twin brother, and for as long as I remember we always had two cakes on our birthday, and different clothe.