Random Ramblings

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Categories Infants, Mommy Issues, PregnancyTags

Ahhh, Spring! A  time of blossoming trees, sprouting grass and budding flowers. A time of sunshine, short sleeves and sunblock. Man, I love spring! Alas, the only thing I do not like about this season, is spring-cleaning. A few generations ago, spring-cleaning was taken much more seriously. In our town (Pittsburgh), the ladies diligently washed each and every wall in their house twice a year, due to the coating of soot pumped out from the Steel Mills. Now that that industry is kaput, I am pleased to say that the only wall washing I do is in preperation for painting, and in the very near future, crayon removal.

Yet, as soon as winter releases us from it’s icy grip, I am one of the first to throw open all the windows in the house and let the fresh air whip through my stale home. And we all have our spring chores: taking the glass out of the screen door, wiping down the porch furniture and hauling it out of storage and washing windows (I am terrible at this and have hired someone to do it for me this year!). The list in my head grows longer everyday, thinking about the landscaping I want to do, the porch roof that needs to be scraped and painted and front steps that need to be replaced. There is, however, one chore that I am pointedly ignoring…sorting and storing baby clothes. For months, I have been hauling a bag or two of out-grown items to our basement, and plunking it down on the couch. And in ignoring those bags, I have accumulated quite a pile. Goddess In Progress and CarrieinAK have both recently broached this topic with their posts “A Word About Baby Clothes” and “Growing, Growing, Gone.” They did a fantastic job, and gave lots of wonderful suggestions…but here’s the thing…

What do you do when you aren’t sure if you will have any more children? But you think you want to? But your husband isn’t so sure, and some days, you aren’t so sure? How long do you hold on to things? And of course, if you do keep stuff, do you keep the items that come in 2’s? Like car seats?  (What if I had twins again?!)

If my husband reads this (which he usually does), he is likely choking on his Diet Mt Dew.  I am not pregnant, and I don’t plan on trying to get pregnant any time soon. My husband and I had to do ovulation induction/IUI to help us conceive. It was an expensive and heart-wrenching 19 month journey to start our family, which, in the world of infertility, is a relatively short time.  But as with all couples, there is no guarantee. I have no idea if I could get pregnant again, even if we decided that we wanted to have more kids.

But if we were to try for another child, anyone out there have an opinion on a time frame? I was thinking that having another spring baby, around the time Faith and Jonathan turn 3, would be ideal. But I sure would love to hear your opinions on the matter! As someone who needed a lot of medical intervention to conceive, I recognize that it is sort of odd to talk of scheduling a pregnancy. But I would like to read your opinions about what time frame you think would be “ideal.”

(By the way, my twins are only 11 months old, so I have lots of time to pray about this and talk about it to my hubby. But the mound of clothes in my basement sparked this post. And I was completely out of other ideas to write about!)


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7 thoughts on “Random Ramblings”

  1. Yeah, my husband and I have these same discussions (although I am a bit more into the idea of a third baby…someday…than he is). Of course, infertility makes it trickier to think about. It took two years, five IUI’s and 2 IVF’s to have these guys….perhaps we should just stop while we’re ahead? I think having another baby when they’re three sounds great, but, of course, I’ve never had three year old twins. I wonder what people with older twins think?

  2. There must be something in the water! I have had that thought pop into my head recently, too. My husband swears we’re done, and will tell this to random passers-by on the street. (I’m only half joking.) I don’t bother saying anything at the moment, but there’s always a part of me that thinks… you never know. Ask me in a few years. :-)

  3. Right now, we’re in the middle of the, “We’re-15-months-old-going-on-to-the-worst-of-the-terrible-2s.” So, I am firmly planted in the idea that there will be no more “trying” until they’re in kindergarten! :) That said, we do want at least one more. I just ache when I think about the temping, charting, meds, planning sex, medical procedures, broken heart after broken heart when I don’t see the second line… Meh! Of course we’ll have more. We’ll start trying in 18 months.

  4. I too have been thinking about this. I have piles of baby clothes and am torn. Do I keep them, half of them, sell them, donate them? I have yet to make a decision. I will probably end up donating half and selling the “nice” stuff. I think I am pretty much set on not having anymore for many reasons and if I ever change my mind I know that there will always be more clothes to buy.

  5. you captured my dilemma just right, krissy! i have bags and boxes of clothes, toys, etc. and can’t quite give them away because of the thought of having another one (emphasis on one!). so my closet has become the mother of all baby storage! at first j said NO WAY to even the idea of another baby. but now it seems like he’s coming around and is definitely entertaining the thought. he’s even said out of the blue, “if you want another baby, i’m open to it.” that’s some serious progress. i think now that they are toddlers and our life has gotten a lot easier, he’s starting to forget the trauma of being a parent to twinfants. i think momnesia works to our advantage in this regard! my thoughts on timing – if we do, i want to wait until the guys are between 2-3 before we start trying. i definitely want them old enough where they can help and be in 1/2 day or full day school. it’ll be fun to see what happens!

  6. Our boys were born when our daughter was 18 months old…. and we had no idea what we were in for! Now, our boys are, too, in that golden 1 year old state when they’re not defiant, very bubbly and charming, and not really into that much stuff. Sure, I think–we could have more kids! Bring it on! And then I remember what awaits us just around the bend. Two year olds take a lot of parental maintenance–they’re so much fun, but so much maintenance in so many areas. I’d suggest waiting until your twins are 3 or so for sure! And keep the clothes you just absolutely love and give/sell the rest. Same with baby gear. You’d be amazed what you can borrow when you’re only dealing with one baby, and if you have twins again, well, somehow you’ll acquire it all once more. I’ve been purging our own stash as well. If you have siblings who are in the baby stages, too, then you can always dump some of the favorite toys/gears at Grandma’s house so each new cousin can use it when they come visit!

  7. We don’t plan to have any more children but if we do change our minds or we end up with a surprise baby, then I figure I can replace all the stuff we got rid of with second hand items from our mother’s of twins club sales, craig’s list and second hand stores. So I’m selling everything as the girls outgrow it and spending the money on things they can use now.

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