The Never Ending Pregnancy

I hardly know where to start with this post…there are so many thoughts swirling around in my head regarding the birth of Jonathan and Faith. But first, I think you need a little background info.

Due to infertility treatments, I knew I was pregnant with two babies almost immediately. And as soon as I could, I got my hands on some “Twin Books” and started reading. And planning. And hoping.

I had a very healthy pregnancy, but it certainly wasn’t pain-free! I had joint pain, nerve pain, growth pain and skin pain. Basically, anything that could hurt, did! But amazingly, it didn’t slow me down too much, until I hit about 31-32 weeks. At a routine ultrasound, the tech thought that she could see my cervix shortening. My OB placed me on modified bed-rest (lay around as much as possible), and so I did my best to comply. Around 34 weeks, the doctor realized that my cervix was strong and not shortening at all, so she lifted my restrictions. Apparently, the tech made a mistake, and I never had had any issues with pre-term labor.

The entire time I was pregnant, I agonized over the method of delivery. Over and over I said, “I just don’t want to do both.” The babies were constantly changing positions, but at 33 weeks, they switched to vertex/vertex. And at 36 weeks, they were back to breech/transverse, with enough fluid to move again. It was driving me CRAZY! I am a planner, and I wanted to just plan what we were doing, and have time to mentally prepare.

At 36w5d, I started having contractions. After a few hours of mild contractions every 5-6 minutes, we went to Triage to be evaluated. By the time we were in triage, hooked up to a bunch of machines (3 monitors, bp cuff and pulse ox) they were every 3 minutes, on the nose! We were getting pretty excited!

I wasn’t in any pain, just uncomfortable. The exams stunk, of course, but the doctors and nurses were all nice. Technically, I was still pre-term, so they gave me a shot of trebutaline to see if it would halt the contractions. It didn’t, but I did feel like I just drank a lot of coffee or finished a hard workout. Very shaky.

Next, I had to drink a liter of water, so see if that would stop the contractions. It didn’t. All of this was to see if I was in actual labor or not. Well, the deciding factor is cervical change, and mine wasn’t! So home we went! It was mentally very discouraging to think I was going to be not-pregnant soon, and then be sent home!

The doctors told me to come back when I was in hard labor or if my water broke. I was so overwhelmed when they told me I would have to go into HARD labor before they would do my c-section (they were still breech/transverse). That just did not seem fair!

Day after day, I plodded along. Even though I couldn’t sleep, and had a lot of pain, I was able to do a lot of things. I was huge and cumbersome, but once I was given the all-clear, I resumed cleaning, laundry and other chores.

Finally, the doctors scheduled my c-section for May 15th, 2007. As 39 weeks pregnant, I walked into the hospital hugely pregnant, and walked out a Mama! I was incredibly nervous about the surgery, but even more so the epidural. I was so nervous, that I couldn’t walk myself to the OR. I was shaking too badly, so they took me in a wheel chair. Once in the OR, any sense of dignity flew out the window. I had already been shaved with a dull razor, and barely had any clothes on. Then I was asked to haul my giant self up onto the table, gown flapping open. The male anesthesiologists prepped me for my spinal, and it wasn’t fun. First of all, they asked me to sit cross-legged on a board the same width as a piece of paper! And on TV, a kind nurse holds your hand/head, but I was on my own. The numbing medicine hurt like hell, and they had to try several times to place the actual spinal. I know I was moaning by the end, but later realized that I had just been a guinea pig for a student doctor.

They laid me down quickly, as I was rapidly losing sensation in my lower half. They pinched me, and I felt it, and then I was totally numb. The next day, I had big bruises and sore spots where they pinched me with their instruments. At this point, they inserted my catheter, prepped my belly and brought my husband in. They started the surgery, and kept the draped close to my face, and didn’t allow my husband to peek. I heard all sorts of things, felt tugging sensations, but was strangely removed from the situation. When they delivered my son, they held him up over the drape, and I shied away from him because he was dripping globs of blood! My daughter was quickly delivered, but I don’t remember seeing her. My husband says they did show her to me. All I remember is hearing the doctor tell the anesthesiologist to start another IV, and I was rather focused on what was happening to me. They asked my husband to leave, and began working on me. I was losing a lot of blood, and my uterus wasn’t clamping down quickly. I heard this strange thud over and over, and I still don’t know what that was. Eventually, the resident finished fixing me up, but told me she wrenched her shoulder as she never had to work that hard to help a uterus clamp down before. My regular OB left before my surgery was completed, as she had to deliver another baby. Before she left, she did say that she though Jonathan and Faith were the biggest twins she had ever delivered at 7.12 and 6.12.

When the OR team was done with me, they asked me if I wanted to hold the kids on the trip to the recovery room. I didn’t even realize they were still with me, I thought they went with my husband. I was vehemently opposed to holding them, as I was totally numb and thought I would drop them! All three of us met up with my hubby and went to recovery. My parents, MIL and aunt were there to meet the babies. They all held the kids before I did, as I was still in shock, couldn’t feel my arms and didn’t feel ready to hold them. I was so focused on the trauma my body had just gone through, that I felt somewhat removed from the situation.

The nurses asked me if I want to try breast feeding, which I did, but we sorta had to prod my family to leave first! The rest of the first day is a blur. I know I felt like crap, wanted to vomit and had hot flashes. I know that I was overwhelmed that I had to start nursing the kids so quickly. After carrying them for 39 weeks, I was ready to share the workload withsomeone else! I was in bed until the next morning, with an IV in each hand and a catheter. I was on Vicodin and motrin once the IV drugs wore off. I had to remember when to ask for them, and that was hard to do. I was able to hold down some liquids the next morning, which meant frequent trips out of bed to the bathroom. There were some near-fainting episodes, but hour by hour, I felt better than the hour before. The very worst after effect of the c-section was the gas pain. My stomach sounded like it was giving off sonar-pings, and the air was moving so strongly that if I placed my hand on my stomach, it felt like there was another full-term baby kicking in there. I actually wondered for a while, if there was a third baby in there!

The kids roomed in with us, but I did send them to the nursery at night. I was so exhausted, and each mew and yawn they would make would keep me up. Unfortunatly, I was too keyed up and uncomfortable to sleep, so when we were discharged on the 3rd day, I was pretty exhausted.

We were so very blessed that our children were so healthy. The never needed oxygen, or intervention of any kind. They had no health concerns, and never left our side. I was intensely aware of how wonderfully the pregnancy and delievery had gone, and every day I am thankful that they are growing up to be strong and healthy children.

The only complication the kids have, is mild developmental dysplasia of the hip. Ironically, this was caused by their extreem lack of space in the womb!

In retrospect, I think I expected to be more emotional about their birth, like the women on TV who cry when they first see their children being born. But for me, I truly think I was in shock, and could only process so much at a time. I fondly look at their newborn pictures and video, and wish I could remember more of those first few days, but on the other hand, I have had a whole year of images and moments to fill my heart to overflowing. The birth was just the starting point of our lives together, and what a good life it is.

8 thoughts on “The Never Ending Pregnancy

  1. I can’t believe that you had such big twins! I thought mine were good sized, but compared to yours, they were peanuts.

    I now get mad at tv shows where the birth looks all pretty (and the babies aren’t bloody). I think it sets us up for certain expectations about childbirth that are almost never realized in real life—especially with twins.

  2. That’s a good point, I really wasn’t very emotional after they were born, either. I was really just so very, very tired. And so relieved to have it be “over.” The whole thing was pretty surreal, and I was not as overcome with emotion as I thought I might be.

    I can’t believe you made it to 39 weeks. I think I might have lost my mind if I had to go 3 more weeks!

  3. Wow! What an incredible birth story! I am always amazed when I hear about a twin mommy who did so well, considering my pregnancy was so HORRIBLE (6 months of bedrest!!!)
    Absolutely WONDERFUL birth weights! Very impressive!
    I made it to 35 weeks when my placenta deteoriated and the babies were delivered at 4.2lbs and 4.12lbs (little squirts) They are still pretty tiny for 19 month old toddlers too.
    Thanks for sharing your story! :) Debi

  4. I can totally relate to the “never ending pregnancy”. We went to 40 weeks and had to be induced. (They were way too cozy!) Thanks for sharing your story!

  5. OMG! I feel so much better! I’ve been thinking something was wrong with me this whole time because after my C, as soon as I heard the boys were healthy, I just desperately wanted to drink water and sleep. I didn’t have the overwhelming emotions until later. Thank you for posting this. My friends all had vaginal singletons and go on and on about the “magical” first meeting and I feel bad…

  6. What a great story! Goodness, everytime i read one of the birth stories i get all teary eyed. They are all soo sweet! You did a great job with yours…and you looked beautiful in your pic considering you had just had twins. I’m embarassed to put mine up! YIKES! I seriously looked like a beach whale…i think i was bigger leaving than when i entered the hospital! UGH!

    Thanks for sharing..your babies are precious!
    Brenda

  7. All I can say is that you have BEAUTIFUL babies! I know tons of kids are pretty and cute and whatnot but your kids are gorgeous!!!!!

    Oh, great story as well! : )

  8. Oh! Those are some stunning babies! (and as others have said, you look GORGEOUS too!)

    This week has been such a joy to read…thank you for helping make it so!

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