Stood up. Brokenhearted. Again.

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Categories Family, Mommy IssuesTags , , ,

Forgiveness is typically my forte.

High-school boyfriends’ dalliances? Forgiven.
My beloved great-grandmother’s racism based in ignorance? Forgiven.
My father’s secret life? Forgiven.

But today…today’s transpiration is testing the depth of my ability to readily rationalize. Since I can’t speak it aloud (twin little pitchers have big ears), blog about it I shall.

On the next to the last day of school, Sarah and a classmate were to have a first-time playgroup. Perhaps it’s because she and her brother have had so few — much less individually — she talked about it all night the night before. She talked about it excitedly all morning over breakfast. Her brother and I planned our Mommy-Son activities for after school while Sarah and Boy X were to have their special time.

Well, as it turns out, the next to the last day of school included a year-end presentation program…with parents invited, for song, dance, poetry and general merriment. Upon the production’s conclusion, we looked everywhere for Boy X and/or his parent(s). No sign. We went home and left a message on Boy X’s family’s machine. Nothing. We waited and waited. Finally, our nuclear family went for a somewhat delayed after-program ice cream. The whole way there, while we were there, and the whole way back, Sarah (not unlike her mother’s M.O.) was creating rationalizing scenarios by which the lack of communication and the break-down of the plan could be excused.

On the last day of school, after we returned home, we got a phone call from Boy X. Luckily, Sarah answered and she lit up like a summer firefly with twice the bounce. The phones were passed to the moms, and Mrs. X explained the confusion (which surely I agreed with, with the chaos characterizing the last days of school), and we made a plan to have the kids reconvene today…as they were going to be out of town early this week.

Rerun the preceding week’s build-up and enthusiasm, this time regaling the whole family with her “dream” from the night before Playdate-Eve, wherein she and Boy X and his Mom X all played superheroes together. Re-don the beloved pink dress. Pinch on those new clip-on earrings (“They’re S’s, Mom! For Sarah!) from the Dollar Store. Make the early morning base touch at 9:15. Uh oh. The machine again. (Adult cynicism already had me concerned.) 11:00am: Sarah insists they may not have gotten the message, and wants to call again. With the warning not to leave a message if the recording comes on, I allow it. Again at 11:30. 12. 12:30. You get the pathetic and heartwrenching picture.

Finally, at 3:30, feeling almost sinful for keeping my children housebound and TV watching on a stunningly gorgeous day, I left a second, upbeat sounding message (oh I can be an actress when the occasion merits…) saying we were going to head to the park, but to please — please — leave us a message.

Thought Sarah would burst into tears when she saw the big flashing “0” on our machine upon our return. Thought I might, too.

She and her brother plopped on the couches to watch “Shrek 3” on-demand, and I just went went to put a Hershey’s kiss in her mouth. (Please don’t condemn me for doing the “chocolate makes it all better” attempt.) What did she do? She pointed to Darren for me to give him one, too. Amidst her day’s disappointment, at play, at the park’s nature center, all day long, her brother’s been by her side…intuitively “getting it.” Maybe there’s something to this twin telepathy thing after all….


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Cross-posted from Twinfatuation, June 18th

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13 thoughts on “Stood up. Brokenhearted. Again.”

  1. this would be a heartwrenching story be it not for the heartwarming ending. how precious. how sweet. and i’m not talking about the chocolate, though i am a total advocate for chocolate therapy. 😉

  2. That is so sad! Poor Sarah(BTW, What a great name you picked :) My heart is breaking for her too! You did the right thing!

    I do not look forward to the twins growing up and having to deal with these situations! I’m not sure i’ll be as nice as you! :)

  3. I’ve learned early to not say anything until I am sure that the play date will go off without a hitch. Poor girl. Hopefully, you’ll get to reschedule.

  4. That is so heartbreaking! I remember the first time my daughter came home from school crying that the “other girls” didn’t want to be her friends anymore. I remember how hurtful those things can be when you are little and I wish I could protect them from all that. At least she has a very sweet and caring brother and will always have a friend in him.

  5. Hey there, just stumbled upon your blog …
    That is too bad that the playdate did not work out for you and the kids. Hopefully that won’t happen often!!
    Your kids seem like little sweethearts ^.^ That is a gorgeous picture of them by the water.

  6. Oh! Poor Sarah! I am glad that her brother was there for her to offer his friendship…and that you were there to offer her chocolate!

    That’s a precious picture of them by the water…and her in the little pink dress!

  7. Oh my heart is breaking for Sarah, I’m so glad she has Darren to stand by her. That’s the wonderful part about twins. I hope she has a playdate soon with a ‘new’ friend.

  8. That is so sad! …and still so sweet at the end with her brother and the chocolate.

    What a frustrating situation? What’s the etiquette here? I mean, these people hurt your kid through their disregard… Ah, the things they don’t tell you about when you become a mom.

  9. Hi. I stumbled upon this post form the WordPress front page and I feel a little out of place because I actually don’t have even one child… much less multiples. I suppose I’m getting at the point that I can’t identify with that portion of things but that I was still very affected your post. I was completely enamored with the final photograph of the two siblings. It reminded me of so many tender moments between my sister and I growing. She would intuitively know when I was down-trodden and I would know as well for her. We aren’t even twins :-) I would do anything to have a picture like that of the two of us. Thank you for this beautiful post. Even children, early in their innocent lives, must learn to sometimes grow flowers in the worst possible soil.

  10. What a beautifully poetic line, Michellesolange! Flowers from poor soil…it’s a virtuous focus!

    Not so sure what the etiquette is in a playdate “stood-up” situation, Mel. As it turns out, the delayed playdate (almost miraculously) happened today.

    So not sure what to think, but my daughter is happy. She has learned to deal with disappointment (to a degree), and her brother knows to be more sensitive.

    Suppose not all is bad from such a maternally trying day.
    (The path to playdate reality is on Twinfatuation today.)
    Although you hit the nail on the head. No one tells us in L&D all the emotional duress that awaits!

    God bless us, Everyone!

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