I originally posted this entry on my personal blog, Laura’s Mommy Journal, when my boys turned 8 months old. During my pregnancy, I was on some form of bed rest for three months. I thought I would post it over here where some of the bed rest mamas could appreciate it.
Today is the day the boys have been outside my body longer than they were inside my body. This is a very significant milestone. Some people might say I was lucky to only be pregnant 8 months. Those people are completely insane.
Rookiemoms.com suggests an Inside-Outside party where you do all the things you didn’t get to do while you were pregnant, such as drink wine, eat soft cheese, and ride mechanical bulls. That isn’t quite enough for me… I also want to intentionally avoid things I had to do while I was pregnant. I’m celebrating ALL DAY peoples.
Here’s what I will do:
* I will stand for longer than 10 minutes in a row.
* I will go for a walk farther than one block.
* I will walk up and down the stairs of the house however many times I want.
* I will shower for as long as I want.
* I will wear a shirt that covers my entire belly.
* I will wear a shirt that has no stains since I can reach the table now.
* I will wear shoes.
* I will be able to see my toes.
Here’s what I will not do:
* I will not lie on my left side.
* I will not lie on the couch watching TiVo.
* I will not watch Baby Story, Birth Day, Adoption Story or anything on TLC or DHC.
* I will not eat mac and cheese with bacon on top. (30g of protein)
* I will not calculate how much protein is in everything I eat.
* I will not count anything – contractions, kicks, protein grams, glasses of water, weeks pregnant.
* I will not ride in a wheelchair.
* I will not take an iron pill, a Flintstone vitamin, or a drug not approved by the FDA for my condition (terbutaline).
* I will not use a mirror to check my entire belly for stretch marks.
* I will not call the kids Alien and Skeletor.
* I will not have strangers staring at me scared that I am going to give birth right in front of them.
* I will not give Jon an update on the status of belly button.
* I will not say to Jon, “I think my belly is bigger today.”
* I will not summon Jon into the room to help me pick up something I dropped on the floor, to refill my water, to change the room temperature, or to say hi.
On second thought, I really miss summoning Jon. Those were some good times. I probably can’t get away with that anymore unless I throw out the whole “I am the mother to your children!” line. I haven’t busted that one out yet, so today might be a good day to try it. Oh Jon…