I took Danny to the ENT specialist yesterday for a routine hearing test. No issues with his hearing (hooray!) and the test is should be painless. As a result of my visit, here is an open letter to doctors’ offices everywhere.
Dear doctors’ offices everywhere,
Just so you know (and I always tell you on the phone, so you DO know) I have 15 month old twins. This is a joy and a pleasure, but can make some daily tasks more challenging than if you have only one baby. But, we make do. We manage. We even usually do fairly well. However, there are several things that YOU (yes, you!) could do to make it more likely our day will go smoothly.
When I make an appointment on the phone for my 15 month old son and ask if it will be a problem if I bring his twin sister along for the appointment, tell me that there are STAIRS leading down to your office. No elevator—stairs only. Seriously. Six or seven steep stairs. How do you think I’m bringing two babies into your office? Teleporting them? WARN me that there is no way to get a double stroller into the office without unloading each baby, carrying him/her down the stairs, putting him/her down on the dirty floor and going back up the stairs for the second baby and stroller. Seriously, I broke a sweat. TELL ME THIS on the phone, when I ask if it’s a problem.
Second, put a sign on your door telling me what type of office it is. Seriously, I have not managed to be organized enough to bring your phone number and suite number. Yep, I’m that much of an idiot. However, I would have been on time if there was a sign on your door next to the suite number. It could be as simply as saying ENT here. Otherwise, I am going to spend 10 minutes wandering the building, wandering the floor, taking the elevator again and asking for directions at some PCP office (thank you lovely PCP receptionist for calling upstairs and finding me the suite number).
Ok, on to my third point. When I ask, on the phone, if it’s a problem if I bring his twin sister with me, perhaps you forgot about the stairs. Or didn’t think about how I would be bringing the babies with me. (Again, teleporting? Seriously!). But for the love of god, tell me that I am going to have to leave baby #2 in the stroller in a room with the audiologist while I am OUT OF SIGHT in the soundbooth with baby #1 on my lap. This was not successful. The audiologist (who was also as lovely as could be) looked quite worried when he saw all of us. Soon I saw why. (He’s an experienced father of another little Abigail, so he knew what was coming). Although the soundbooth was “supposed” to be fairly sound proof for the hearing test, Abigail laughs at soundproofing. The second the door closed, the sound of an hysterical baby screaming her loudest echoed through the booth. Danny tried his hardest to ignore her, but it’s difficult to maintain your focus (on a HEARING test) when your sister is screaming hysterically, without stopping to take a breath, on the other side of the closed door. We had to stop the test so that we could hand off Abigail to some poor nurse whom the audiologist declared “not busy”, so she could walk the halls with Abigail (still screaming hysterically, now bright red as well) for the last few minutes of the hearing test. We originally tried to get her to hold Danny for the test, but Danny did not care to be held by a stranger. It’s difficult to test hearing when the baby is screaming at the top of his lungs. So Abigail won out and got to go to someone else. Thanks go out again to this lovely nurse (sorry, your ears may still not have recovered) and the audiologist who finished the test as quickly as possible.
Fourth (yep, I still have one more point), when I leave the poor, deafened audiologist’s office, with two red faced, screaming babies, do not give me dirty looks at I try to calm them before leaving your waiting room. Don’t forget, once I leave the waiting room, I have to deal with that freaking flight of stairs AGAIN. That’s even harder with two hysterical babies. You could, and I’m going out on a limb here, even offer to hold the door for me. Nope, asking too much.
Please keep this in mind for future moms of more than one.
Twin mommy Rebecca (& Danny & Abigail, of course)
Ok, rant’s over. We had a hard afternoon yesterday, and it could have been totally prevented by the office giving me a different answer to my question of, “Is is a problem if I bring his twin sister?”. She could have been having fun at home with our local teen-age babysitter instead of impressing an entire ENT office with her set of lungs.