I have to admit that one of my biggest fears (among many) when I first found out we were expecting multiples was the suffering that my relationship with my husband would endure. I know how much stress a new baby can place on any relationship, especially a marriage, so I was concerned that 3 new babies would do triple the damage. And they did…sort of.
After the first couple of months of having 3 premature newborns at home, the sleep deprivation began to take its toll and each evening would find our family in a funk, often with my husband and I snapping at each other over the tiniest little things. And then it got to the point where I was becoming more and more needy and my husband was becoming less and less present…which of course led to an enormous disconnect between us and very little satisfaction. But, thankfully we recognized that things weren’t quite right and we made a decision to do something to make things better. It took quite a bit of work, but I can honestly say that our relationship now is better than it has ever been.
We now try to go out once a month, alone. No kids in attendance, no kids in conversation. We don’t always make that goal, but we do try. And our biggest relationship saver has been that we set aside every Wednesday night (our older daughter heads off to Nana and Grampy’s for the evening) after the babies go to bed for date night. They aren’t always glamorous evenings, but it brings back memories of our early days of dating and the days before the triplets were born. Oftentimes, we make dinner together, enjoy a bottle of wine and play a game of scrabble. Or we stick in a movie and snuggle on the couch with some popcorn. Sometime we just spend the evening talking about the things we don’t have time to discuss in our day to day chaos. But it helps to know, that no matter what, we have at least one night to ourselves, when we can be a couple instead of parents of multiples.
I am curious to know if other MoMs experienced the same funk, and if so what have you done (or do you do) to keep the romance alive?