Going Back to a Singleton

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Categories Breastfeeding, Infants, Mommy Issues, Singletons

There are so many differences between a singleton pregnancy and birth and a multiple one.  I am so very, very fortunate to have been able to experience both already. I feel like the first time around I was overwhelmed as a new mother. But after having twins, my perspective has changed slightly. So I’m thrilled that I get a, sort of, do-over with another singleton. I am more relaxed and, definitely, I understand that this time will be, at the very least, less physically demanding.

There are so many things that I took for granted the first time around that I’m looking forward to experiencing (with greater gusto) this time. Things like going out with just one baby for a quick trip to the mall. Or, going to the doctor and only filling out the required paperwork ONCE (while entertaining said child in the waiting room). But there are also so many things unique to the multiples experience that I feel this baby — and I — will miss out on.  Here are some examples:

  • I’m looking forward to nursing one baby and savoring the cradle hold. With the twins it was all about the football hold since there were always two on me.
  • I will miss looking down during a nursing session and seeing two little babies instinctively reach out and hold each others’ hands across my chest.
  • I’m looking forward to buying — and stocking — normal amounts of diapers and wipes.
  • I will miss watching this child have a built-in best friend.
  • I’m looking forward to being able to pick up my new baby’s prescriptions in a timely manner because there isn’t any confusion with my insurance company about why I’m filling and re-filling a prescription at the same time! For the life of them — no matter how many phone calls I make — my pharmacy insurance will only work from a date of birth, which means every time the twins have prescriptions filled simultaneously, only Aaron’s is filled. Brady’s is always rejected because they see it as a refill (being filled too soon). Knock on wood, though, we won’t need to fill as many for this child!
  • I am looking forward to a “normal” birth experience; that is, giving birth and getting to hold the baby rather than having him whisked off to the NICU before I can touch him.
  • I will miss the amazing sense of pride that comes with saying “yes, they are twins.”

I am also curious to see how small of a diaper bag I can carry this time. With my first child, I had a bag that could have easily doubled for weekend, carry-on luggage! I was constantly over-supplied and over-burdened with just stuff. When the twins arrived, the size of the bag actually decreased by more than half. Only the bare essentials made the trip. And I learned to stock extras in a small storage bin in my car – there if really necessary, but not a burden to carry around. I’m curious to see with three children under two years, how small of a bag I can pare down to this time around.

With the birth just weeks away, I am excited. I can’t wait to put my new, more relaxed approach to motherhood to work and just enjoy this baby. I hope it will be a more carefree experience than the first time around. I also hope that having gone through the first year with twin boys hasn’t made me TOO relaxed so that this kid turns out to be a holy terror! Time will tell. But I’m so thankful that the multiple experience has mellowed me out as a mom.

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5 thoughts on “Going Back to a Singleton”

  1. How exciting that your new baby will arrive so soon! I love the post—-I think a lot about what I would have experienced differently with just one baby, but it’s so important to remember what things we did get to experience b/c there were two babies, not just one. Enjoy your little guy!

  2. I have had some of these exact same thoughts! I have a barely 2-yr-old and 4 month old twins. There have actually been some things that have seemed easier with my twins than with my first because I had such a hard time with my first (nursing issues, his surgeries and constant illnesses). We hope to have more kids and have talked about how differently we would handle a singleton at this point! My husband is wanting our kids to be no more than 2 years apart so I greatly look forward to hearing how well you do with young twins, a new baby, and an older child! Best of luck and can’t wait to hear more!!

  3. I really enjoyed having one after two, it just seemed so much easier to me. I am not sure if that was because there was only one or because I had more experience! I still have the smallest diaper bag around! :) Enjoy!

  4. Loved the post! I am about to add my third boy to the group, and I have been pondering all of the changes with a singleton, too. Can’t wait to hear how everything goes!!!

  5. I have almost 19 month old twins and a 5 week old singleton. Everybody kept telling me how much easier it would be with only one. Superstitious as I am, I kept saying, “Yes, but my twins didn’t have colic. I’m sure this one will be colicky.” to negate their jinx. It must have worked because my newborn is a dream. Already capable of sleeping 5.5 hours at night, naps often and for a hour to three at a stretch.

    It is a pleasure just taking care of one newborn, but it makes me sad for the twins newborn stage because the didn’t get as much individual attention as my youngest is getting. On the other hand, they LOVE, LOVE, LOVE their new baby sister and give her kisses often!

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