A lot has been said on this website about joining your local multiples group. In addition to becoming involved in my multiples’ group, I also joined a new moms group through my hospital. When I showed up the first day, I was bummed to find I was the only mom with twins. Now that I’ve been part of the group for over two years, I would highly recommend this strategy to every mom expecting multiples. Reasons:
1. When their one baby is sleeping, their hands are completely free to help you with your two (or more).
2. Hearing “I don’t know how you do it” on a regular basis can be a much-needed ego boost during those early months with multiples.
3. Singleton parents often have more time to do research, read parenting books, and help get advice from experts during those crazy early months. They are also more likely to get out of the house on a regular basis, so they can help you scope out baby-friendly places. They are a great, underutilized resource.
4. If you ever find yourself in a complete bind, they can leave the baby with their partner to help you.
5. Having a network of new moms can help you see that being a new parent is hard on everyone, not just on parents of multiples.
Of course, there have been gaps in communication along the way. I think some of the moms thought my twinproofing was a little extreme. I cried when our group had a discussion about games to play… with your two month old. (My games were “watch mommy shower” and “watch mommy eat.”) And to get by while keeping my sanity, I frequently “broke the rules” by letting one kid sleep in a Boppy or feeding the boys right out of baby food jars. But overall, I think being exposed to different ways people parent helps us think about why we parent the way we do. Being part of a singleton moms group has opened my eyes to how many different ways there are to be a good parent. And seriously, there can never be enough extra sets of hands in those early months!