The Best Advice

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I’ve been thinking about the title of our blog.  I feel that I need to pass along wisdom about “how I do it” but lately I’m not sure that I’m doing it very well.

My husband and I got through pregnancies, deliveries, infancy, toddlerhood, tantrums and potty training.  We knew it would all pass (although we were pretty sure he would walk one of the girls down the aisle and tell the groom-to-be that she wasn’t potty trained yet).  But now I find myself at a new challenge in parenting and I feel like a newbie all over again.

You see, apparently aliens came recently and stole my lovely 12 year old daughter and replaced her with this creature who doesn’t listen, obey, pick up, bathe, or. . .you get the picture.  It’s positively scary around here, not knowing how this person who looks a lot like our former daughter will behave.

So I’ve been thinking of plunging into parenting books again, and seeking advice for myself.  I’ve also been thinking of advice I’ve heard from wise women that is resonating again with me.  These two things may help someone else, so I’ll repeat them to you as I repeat them to myself.

Little people, little problems; Bigger people, bigger problems

This came from a mom I worked with many years ago.  Her children were much older than mine.  That simple statement has often helped me get perspective.  When kids are little, tantrums and potty training can seem very stressfull.  Hang on, you will all survive and confront bigger issues.  When you look back in the future, this all wont seem like such a big deal.  I’m sure I’ll survive my current worries to face the stresses of my daughters driving and dating.

Pray, and trust

This came from a mother friend in Church, and I wont begin to try to convert anyone to prayer here, but the sentiment rings true – have some faith that things will work themselves out.  I was picky about some foods when I was a kid, and now I love them.  My sister and I fought, and then grew very close.  Release worries to a higher power and know that some things will change with time.  You can only beat your head against the wall so much, sometimes you have to let go.

That is “how I do it” today.

You can meet my twins and their alien sister at Lit and Laundry.

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5 thoughts on “The Best Advice”

  1. It does get better….. although it might get a little worse first. I have 1 yr old twins as well as a 14 yr old daughter. It all started about 11 or 12. Not listening, not bathing, and just an all around crappy attitude. I attribute it to hormones!!! She still isn’t big on the bathing but things have gotten better. You would think girls would WANT to take a bath but nope not mine. Good luck!

  2. It’s good to know that even an experienced mom feels like a newbie sometimes. I feel like that is one of my hardest struggles. Right when I feel on an even keel, something happens where I go back to feeling like a newbie again.

    My sister was hell on earth during her teenage years. I certainly recall it started in middle school when she would take two hours to get ready. Still to this day, I have no idea what a woman can do for two hours to get ready :)

  3. Wow, so true. My first grader has presented us with new challenges we never dreamed of. He has learned some “bad words” from some classmate and we have had the big discussion about bad words already, at such a young age! There’s also new issues about discipline with older kids that are more serious because the older kids are smarter, whereas little ones don’t have that “questioning attitude” yet. In the chaos of dealing with the twins, my older son sometimes gets short changed, and I need to tell him more often how proud we are of him!

  4. Apparently, I was quite the b*tch when I was a pre-teen and teen. At least, according to my family…I’ve blocked most of it out, but I’m pretty sure that I’m MUCH better now. And I didn’t bruise my relationships with my family, because we’re all really close. *phew* I do look back and wonder how I didn’t … but I also hear some of the stories my family tells now and think “hmm. I saw that situation much differently…I guess they didn’t realize that I was joking around at the time.”

    Anyway…I echo LauraC – it’s nice to know that sometimes even the mommies you look up to don’t really know all the answers…especially when they’re big enough to acknowledge it! :)

  5. A co-worker of mine has 6 kids, in their teens and twenties now. We were talking about parenting, and he was telling me that having multiple teens leads to drama. I thought he was talking about the kind of drama involves teenage girls on cell-phones for hours. In fact, he was talking about the police raiding their house and drama on that level. I hope that makes you feel better about your teen.

    I was a monster 15-year-old. I’m not looking forward to have two at that age at once!

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