Guest Post: The Scavengers Hunt

Dan England is one of our dad guest posters. He is the dad of three: toddler Jayden and nearly two-year-old twins Allie and Andie, and also husband to Kate.  He is a writer, poker player, mountain climber, runner and baby wrangler. He has recently written for TWINS magazine, and has agreed to write for HDYDI from time to time. He and his family live in Colorado (hence the mountain climbing.) His blog can be found at: http://pokingandpeaking.blogspot.com/

 

In many ways the twins are getting easier. They are finally – finally – finally – sleeping through the night, for the most part. I’ll take for the most part.  They can entertain themselves for the most part, so we don’t have to constantly carry one around. I’ll take for the most part. In fact, I only want for the most part. I want them to rely on me occasionally. Or else I’m just a guy who wipes poop from their bottom and referees the increase fights over a plastic hot dog.
One thing, though, is harder, and it continues to drive me crazy. It’s the fact that I can’t find anything.
We’re constantly, and I do mean constantly, looking for juice cups, pacifiers and a special toy or 175 that continually get stuffed into dark corners, trash cans, under couches, in the shower and bathtub, in the toilet and behind the TV. For starters.
Now, given my slightly obsessive personality, I allow these things to bother me when they shouldn’t. But they HAVE to bother me after a while, or else we would run out, and then we’re supporting Target’s toddler division by ourselves. Our house is already a potential treasure trove. Seriously, if a pacifier-driven toddler wants to become the next Indiana Jones, he could come to our house and explore. If he didn’t find at least 125 after overturning our house, he needs to turn in his explorer’s license. Let’s not even talk about our own stuff. Hairbrushes, toothbrushes, our cell phones, car keys and even my books (one of which found its way to their bath before we saw her with it) all disappear. We call Allie “Swiper” now because of the way she’s constantly walking off with things.
This is probably hard with one, too, but it’s especially tough with twins because you can’t keep an eye on both of them all the time. Mainly you have to focus on the one who is in the most danger at that moment.  I have to make decisions like, OK, Allie is near the stairs, so I should watch that, and then oops, OK, Andie is now crawling up on the window ledge (don’t get too horrified, the window is shut, at least most of the time), so she needs to come down, and oops, Allie just grabbed something sharp, and….you get the idea.
I’d write more, but the girls are demanding juice, and I can only see one juice cup.

3 thoughts on “Guest Post: The Scavengers Hunt

  1. Great post, it captures perfectly those crazy “decisions” that parents of multiple toddlers must make, the minute to minute decisions like — one just climbed on top of the kitchen table and is mashing food into the tabletop, but one has a dirty diaper leaking out, but meanwhile the phone is ringing, but meanwhile my seven year old has been watching too much Sponge Bob while I deal with the little ones (ETC.).
    These days I like going on errands to places a bit far from home, because the car ride gives me 10 or 15 minutes of peace when they are all STRAPPED IN. Lately in the morning I strap everyone into the car with some toys, before I finish getting ready for work. It gives me 5 extra minutes anyway! I don’t put on work clothes until about 60 seconds before we pull out of the driveway… I’m surely not the only parent doing that move.

  2. Mamie, nice to know I”m not alone, and Diane, no, you are definitely NOT the only one to be glad when the girls are strapped down and not moving. AT. All.
    I’m kidding. Sort of.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>