Sadia is the mother of monozygotic twins Jessica and Melody, who (like LauraC’s boys) are 2.75 years old. She and Lucas will have been married for five years next month. In regards to her marriage:
I didn’t really buy into the institution of marriage before I met Lucas. We met in a bar on New Year’s Eve. Five days later, we were engaged. Five weeks after that, he left for Iraq. After 15 months of wartime letter-writing, he returned to the US, and we were married three days later. The rest is history.
Sadia and her daughters live in Central Texas, although she is a dual citizen of the United Kingdom and Bangladesh. Lucas is living in Korea at the moment. She works as an identity management business analyst in higher education. “Essentially,” she says “I’m a reformed computer geek.” When asked what profession other than your own would you like to attempt, she quips:
I already feel like I’m working in a profession other than my own, since my academic background is in Linguistics, which has nothing to do with my job. Sometimes I dream of going back to teaching, but in reality the politics of higher education doesn’t sit well with me. If I were to go completely out on a limb, I’d like to try my hand at cooking professionally. Lucas and I have an agreement to go through culinary school together when we retire. We love to cook, and we love to cook together.
Seven weeks into my pregnancy, the obstetrician did a standard ultrasound, and we discovered that we were having identical twins. I realized that I was going to have a lot to say, and that not everyone would want to hear all the details. I set up my blog as an alternative to mass e-mail. Our friends and family could read about our babies as frequently or infrequently as they wanted.
The primary purpose of Double the Fun and Twice the Confusion continues to be to share information about what Melody and Jessica are up to. Over time, though, my blog has also become a way for me to talk about my experience of parenthood and some of the odd things that go through my head. Since the army takes my husband overseas about every other year, the blog is also a way for him to stay connected with our daughters, and rereading old posts provides us a way to reflect back on how our family has matured and strengthened.
I enjoy reading HDYDI so much that choosing a favourite post is almost like choosing a favourite child! Going It Alone: Solo Air Travel With Twins was incredibly helpful for me when I took Jessie and Melody to Oregon from Texas by myself to celebrate an early Christmas with my husband Lucas’ family. And The Super Dad was so touching, it made me cry.
If you could go back to the newborn days, would you do anything differently?
I wouldn’t spend as much time trying to plan every detail of the girls’ lives. Since we knew my husband was heading to Iraq before Jessie and Melody hit the six-month mark, I wanted to know what we would do in every possible parenting situation. As I’ve matured as a parent, I’ve learned to trust my instincts. As Lucas and I have matured as coparents, I’ve learned to incorporate his style and values into how I interact with the girls, even when he’s away.
Did you have a favorite product that you can’t rave about enough?
Motherwear (http://www.motherwear.com/) nursing tops, specifically with the empire opening. As long as I nursed one baby at a time, I could feed them completely discretely, anytime, anywhere.
What is one thing you do really well as a mother of twins?
I think that I do a good job of being a relaxed parent, especially since I’m incredibly intense in my other roles – as a wife and a professional. I fully subscribe to the philosophy of being a “Good Enough Parent”, although I have yet to read Bruno Bettelheim’s book by that title. Essentially, I believe that by allowing my children to witness my failings and how I handle them, I am helping them learn to accept their own and develop their own coping mechanisms.
What is one thing you think you are horrible at?
I am a terrible housekeeper. Laundry will be the death of me. Two-year-old Melody has the picking-stuff-up-and-putting-stuff-away instinct that I lack, and does her best to keep me honest.
What is the first thing you do after saying goodnight to the kids and closing their bedroom door?
It really does depend on the day. I usually either pop in a cardio DVD and work out, clean up in the kitchen, or take on my Mt Everest: laundry.
If you had an entire day to yourself (money and obligations aside, and no access to kids or the internet), what would you ideally spend that day doing?
What a concept! A whole day to myself? I would probably get a massage, take a seriously long bath, volunteer at Reading for the Blind and Dyslexic, and get a haircut.
What do you think you would actually end up doing?
I would probably get the brakes checked on both our cars.
Sadia, thank you for taking the time to answer our questions!
Thank you for inviting me to “play”! I’m terribly flattered, and look forward to every HDYDI post to come.