LauraC is the mother of Alex and Nate, 2.83 year old twins. She has been married for four years, together for nine to her best friend Jon. They live in Raleigh, NC. Laura tele-commutes from home as a software professional. When asked what profession other than her own she would like to attempt, she answered, “My degree is in environmental engineering and I was not happy in that profession. My software career is Plan B and I love it. It suits my personality, my skills, and my interests.” Her blog can be found at: http://JonAndLaura.blogspot.com
36 weeks pregnant with Nate and Alex.
How did you get into blogging/why did you start a blog/etc…?
My college friend Libby had a pregnancy website I really enjoyed reading. I anxiously awaited each entry and watched in amazement as her belly grew. I started my blog the day I found out I was pregnant as a way to keep my friends and family updated.
Have your reasons for blogging changed?
Absolutely. When I first started writing, I thought I would post once a week and then occasionally upload pictures of the baby once it was born. As I wrote, I realized I had something to say every day about pregnancy. And after a couple of months, I really enjoyed having all those entries to read back on.
When we found out we were having twins, it became a very special place for me. This will be my only pregnancy and I wanted to capture as many moments of it as I could. My blog also became a peaceful place for me during a scary twin pregnancy. Over time, I’ve found blogs I love to read, met some really fascinating people, and forged strong friendships.
Fundamentally, my blog is always for me. But by doing this for myself, I have received so much back in return.
How long have you been blogging?
Can you keep a secret? I’m about to hit 1000 posts! I started blogging in October 2005 and I write Monday through Friday almost every week.
How did you learn about HDYDI? Do you have a favorite post?
I found Goddess’ blog through a Babycenter Multiples board and she asked me to be a part of HDYDI in the beginning. My favorite post I’ve written for HDYDI is my “failure” to breastfeed. (http://howdoyoudoit.wordpress.com/2008/04/08/when-breastfeeding-multiples-fails/)
I needed time to mourn before I was ready to write that post, and HDYDI was the right place to share it. I felt so supported and understood.
My favorite posts written by another HDYDI writer are Goddess’ Ask the Moms series. She does such a great job giving advice in a positive way. She’s the twin mom friend you need to know when you have a question.
Jon, Laura and boys
Do you remember your first words when you discovered you had more than one ‘in there’?
This story requires some background information. In 2005, I lost my hearing in my right ear and in July 2005 I had surgery to repair it. I had extreme dizziness and nausea after the structural changes to my inner ear. A month before my surgery, I ran a 10 mile race. After my surgery, it took a week to build up to walking one city block.
As soon as my ENT cleared me for travel, we moved to Raleigh and started trying for kids, not expecting it to happen because I had been previously been diagnosed as infertile. To our surprise, I got pregnant the first weekend. Two weeks later, I was puking every day from horrible morning sickness. I was going to a birthing center so they recommended various natural remedies, none of which worked. It took me about two hours in the morning to move from my bed to the couch before I could think about even one sip of water. Then I would puke and pee my pants at the same time. And then cry and do laundry. In hindsight, I wish I had asked for Zofran because I was so miserable.
Jon and I always wanted two kids, and I would have terrible crying jags where I would tell Jon I didn’t think I was strong enough to do this a second time. Between the ear surgery and morning sickness, it had been six months of nausea.
Because I was going the ultra-hippy route, I didn’t have my first ultrasound until 18 weeks. As soon as they put the wand to my belly, you could clearly see two sacs, two butts, and two penises. The first thought in my head was, “I am one tough cookie to make it through TWIN morning sickness!!!” and I said out loud, “I never have to do this again!” Not my proudest moment.
Jon was literally in such shock that he just sat there with his mouth open, staring at the screen. The entire situation was so shocking that we couldn’t do anything but laugh. We went out to lunch and talked for two hours before we felt together enough to call our family and friends. And then we broke the news this way: “We found out we’re having a boy ……. (huge pause while the person cheers or congratulates)….. and ANOTHER boy! TWIN BOYS!” After our shock, it was so fun to shock all the people we loved.
If you could go back to the newborn days, would you do anything differently?
If you asked me this question when my boys turned a year old, I would have had a laundry list of items. But now my answer is I would not change a thing. I think all those experiences shaped me into the mom I am now, and I finally feel like I am hitting my mothering stride.
The smartest thing we did was have family and friends stay with us for almost two months after the boys were born. I have a history of depression and I believe that help is the reason I did not end up with post-partum depression. I was able to mentally care for myself during a very stressful time, and I constantly had mothers around me to help care for me as well as the babies.
What is one thing you do really well as a mother of twins?
I think I do a really great job living in the moment. My blog and having twins help me in this. My blog helps because it’s a morning meditation on what happened the day before. Having twins helps because I only get one shot at each age, so I better enjoy it. I am always trying to make each day the best it can be.
What is one thing you think you are horrible at?
I am really terrible, and I mean truly horrible, at dealing with loud chaos. I can deal with chaos and I can deal with loudness, but the two together drive me directly to the edge of insanity. And yes, I have almost 3 year old twin boys! I’ve learned as they get older, the chaos just gets more insane and the loudness gets so much louder.
I want the boys to grow up feeling comfortable expressing themselves and learning about their world but sometimes I feel like I am going to lose it with the insanity. Jon lets me hide out in our guest room until I feel emotionally calm. When he’s gone, I turn on the TV for the boys when I’m going to lose it.
I guess you say I’m learning when to put myself in time out!
Did you have a favorite product that you can’t rave about enough?
A white noise CD called For Crying Out Loud. Also the BOB Revolution Duallie. Pricey but so worth it. Jon and I will be doing a 5K race next month with the boys in it.
If you had an entire day to yourself (money and obligations aside, and no access to kids or the internet): What would you ideally spend that day doing?
Jon and I would magically wake up in the private villa in St Lucia where we honeymooned. We would have a leisurely breakfast overlooking the ocean. We would have massages on the deck. We would lay in the sun, go swimming, read books, drink fruity drinks, and then have someone cook us lobsters for dinner. There would certainly need to be something huge and chocolate for dessert. We would stay up very late talking and listening to music. Then at the end of the day, we would magically be transported back to our house so we could peek in on the boys sleeping.
What do you think you would actually end up doing?
Tackling the items on the never-ending chore list that are easier to get done when the kids are not around.
What is the first thing you do after saying goodnight to the kids and closing the bedroom door?
Turn on the monitor and listen carefully. Last week Nate said to Alex, “If you poop on your pillow, you won’t be able to sleep because you will have poop in your hair.” When I went back in their room, I was not surprised to find Alex naked.
Thanks for joining us Laura!
Remember readers, you are free to suggest other commentors/bloggers for the next interview series!