Why I Hate Weekends

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Categories Family, Mommy Issues, ToddlersTags

One thing I’ve discovered, in my almost two years as a stay-at-home mom, is that “weekends” just don’t have nearly the same ring to them as they used to.  In my pre-kids working days, I loved the weekend as much as the next person.  Get up when I feel like it, stay in my pajamas if I so choose, maybe go out for Sunday brunch or an impromptu Saturday night sushi dinner.  Maybe I’d be good and go to the gym, maybe not.  Leisure. Freedom.

Ha.

Turns out, my toddlers don’t know the first thing about sleeping in on the weekends or the joy of doing absolutely nothing.  No, they want the exact same routine as every other day. Wake up, have breakfast, watch Sesame Street, get dressed, have an activity/outing, eat lunch, nap, play some more, have dinner, go to bed.

For me, Saturday ain’t that different from Wednesday.  Except my husband (M) is home instead of at work.  And I’m tired of the Groundhog-Day repeating of our day-to-day. I still feel this pull towards the idea of the weekend, as though I’m due some blissful quiet.  And so is my husband.  So while I’m always scheduled and routined during the week, and can be surprisingly efficient with my time, the weekend days have a tendency to slip by.  We’re still in our pajamas too late, and not in the relaxing way.  But in the “what do you want to do? I don’t know, what do you want to do?” kind of way.  And in the meantime, the kids are bored and cranky, and I’ve lost my sense of time and forgotten to give them a morning snack.

seesaw swing

It’s the weekend when I feel ambivalence toward my routinized ways.  On the one hand, I’m tired of them and want to forget about them.  On the other hand, the lack of routine makes me realize the degree to which I rely on them, and the degree to which they make my kids (and, by extension, me) much happier people.

I think that what I really need is a weekend routine.  Something different from the weekday, so the SAHM thing gets a little bit of a change-up.  But something relatively set and predictable, so the day can still move along and we don’t all go nuts until I explode and yell “we have to leave the house RIGHT NOW!”

Checking out the tractor

As with many things parenting-related, it’s also a question of setting and meeting (or not) appropriate expectations.  Expecting the weekend to be leisurely and relaxing is just setting us all up for failure.  And it’s when inappropriate expectations are set (and, subsequently, not met) that I get the most frustrated.

Obviously, weekends can be and have been times of fun.  Trips to the farm or a fun birthday party, going out for lunch to a Mexican restaurant, etc.  Fun.  But I think I need to balance the need for fun with the need for routine.

And get it through our thick heads that weekends as we once knew them are long gone.

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14 thoughts on “Why I Hate Weekends”

  1. I’ve been wondering when kids start to sleep in, and my twins are only 10 months old…ack! I think you hit the nail on head that we need to set apart weekends by doing something different than the usual routine, even when my husband has to work or is out of town (I’m also a SAHM). We are also a little more flexible with the schedule on the weekends, but tend to pay for it on Monday :-)

  2. It’s funny – I never thought to do something like that but it makes perfect sense. especially once your kids get to a certain age. A weekend routine could be so nice – make it feel different than the week but you still have something to hold on to as the day progresses.

    I’m curious to see what others say – maybe get some good tips as to what a weekend routine might look like. :)

  3. And, to be clear, we do stick to the normal nap schedule on the weekends, though sometimes nap gets pushed a tad later than on the weekday (by about half an hour).

    It’s more the level of activity and getting moving….

  4. We are right there with you. Our usual weekend involves leaving the kids in their pjs until after their midday nap, then doing nothing around the house while the kids play for awhile. Eventually by 3:30, we’re all stir crazy and we get in the car to go somewhere, anywhere to escape the house. It can be a trip to the Starbucks drivethrough and then a drive around town, a trip to Target, the park, etc.

  5. Jon and I find that if we make no weekend plan, then we seem to waste it, everyone goes stir crazy and we hate it. So now on Friday nights, we sit down and roughly sketch out what we are going to do, based on the weather and what needs done.

    Yes, I know I’m a planner.

    Anyway, whenever Jon travels, Jon takes the kids Saturday morning out of the house so I can either have some alone time in the house or I can go do something of my choosing. It makes SUCH a difference in the weekend. We’ve been doing that since they were roughly 18 months old. And honestly, sometimes I just lay in bed and read a book!

    We both really had to get over the idea that weekend is leisurely for everyone, and instead, we help give each other leisurely time.

    The other thing we do is each take one kid. That is so easy it feels like a vacation! I’ll take a one kid grocery shopping and they actually get to push the little cart through the store. It’s fun for everyone.

  6. I am also a major planner because without structure, even on weekends, we all get cranky and stir crazy.
    I am a working mom, but IF I was a SAHM my husband would absolutely be required to take the kids away from me on Saturday morning, or I would go out to exercise or have “ME” time on Saturday morning first thing, and would not resume kid-duty until after their mid-day nap. That would only make sense for me, after a long week with the kids!

    Because I’m working, we are used to being up and dressed early (by 8 am we are raring to go– somewhere). So by 9 am on Saturday I am OUT the door, no matter what with all 3 boys, DH usually staying home to garden and do his household stuff because he is a major handyman/gardener/home improvement guy. We know we are napping on schedule, and we are going to bed on time. We are active in church so on Sunday morning we are dressed and out of the house early. I need to have they mornings planned, but the afternoons are free for maybe a library trip or a long walk and park outing. Weekends are fun but also totally exhausting because that is just the nature of life with 3 boys, ages 2, 2, and 7.

  7. Ahh, I could have written this post. I am a SAHM. I was just realizing last wknd that despite doing fun things like flower shopping and breakfast out with my husband and the boys I was SUPER crabby. Looking back I am crabby most Saturday mornings. I think you are SO right that it is just unrealistic expectations. I always think “Jared is home so I will get some rest” and although he is extremely helpful I rarely feel rested.

    The idea that I came up with but have not begun is to let Jared sleep in (9:30 ish) on Saturday and I will get to on Sunday. This will involve the other one doing the diaper change, breakfast, get dressed routine, which will, in turn help me feel like I am getting out of the day to day routine a bit. We do church Sunday but not until 11am so I could still have a restful morning. We will see.

    Good luck on a solution but I totally feel your pain. It is the I love a schedule/I hate a schedule pull that I feel on weekends. :)

  8. oh my god – I am so cranky on saturday mornings, and my girls are only 7 months old! I realized that is it because I also expected weekends to be different, and they really are exactly the same, except that my partner is in the picture.
    I don’t have any advice or tips as I’m pretty new to the whole twins thing, but just wanted to chime in as this post couldn’t be more timely for me.
    working on the cranky…

  9. We fall into the weekend slumps at time too…however, every other Friday Jay plays poker, and I have the house to myself (That is really nice!)

    The other Fridays are family time, and we do a fun activity once Jay is home from work. (bedtime isn’t ’til 7:30)

    I would like to start trading sleeping in days…my friends do this, one gets Saturday and one gets Sunday. We don’t need to leave for church until 10:30, so that would work for us!

    As much as possible, I try to have family stuff planned for Saturday morning. Jay usually makes us all breakfast, and we go for a bike ride or even run errands with one-on-one time with the kids. Saturday afternoons we sometimes visit family or someone will babysit for us so we can go on a date.

    Sunday mornings are church, and we all rest during nap time. It is our way of Sabbathing, and really helps me to not rush around doing chores, and I don’t feel guilty NOT doing chores!

    Jay is usally a little bit wiped out on Sunday evening after all the kid-time, so I tend to give him time in the house to himself and take the kids to my grandparents house (their great-grandparents). It really helps to have family nearby!

    The balance to all of this, is I often have Monday nights “off” to go to dinner with friends, and Thursdays I go to spinning class and Jay watches the kids.

    This past weekend, Jonathan spent the weekend away with my parents for the first time, and Faith slept over at Aunt Debbies on Saturday night, and Jay and I had some no-kid time in our own house! We were so nice to eachother! Amazing what the lack of stress and responsibility will do for a couple. Not to mention, we slept in on Sunday until 10:00 AM! The first since before I was pregnant (so almost 3 years.) Bliss!

  10. I have also found, like many of you, since being a SAHM that the weekends can be a great time to get a little extra rest in. In our home we often have either a one kid each afternoon or an alone time afternoon- if one of us really needs a break! It is amazing how restful being out with just one baby is when you are always used to having 2.

    Almost every weekend we also spend some family time down at the Town Square (a nice and large outdoor walking shopping area). It gets us out of the house and we can have a nice lunch, browse books, and play outside with the babies. It has become a fun and comforting routine for us to do that together every weekend, and since we’ve done it 50 times we are really good at going there which usually lends to a successful outing!

  11. Great post. I’m a SAHM of twin 6-month-olds and we have an old house that requires a lot of updating — not an ideal combination for happy, together-time weekends. DH and I really need to work on (1) carving out time for me to get out of Dodge for an hour or so and (2) finding time in our schedule for the four of us to hang out together.

  12. One thing that organizes our weekend is that we each get a morning to “sleep in”. I put that in quotes because it’s only until 8am or so—just enough to get an extra hour or two, but we can still get out in the am. The morning I sleep in is “pancake Saturday” and they make crepes and have a blast. Sunday I go to yoga in the morning, so Daddy gets to pick what to do with them. It’s a little bit of a break, and maybe also helps keep me in shape. Otherwise, we plan (ok, fine, I tell him) an outing for Saturday morning and both afternoons. It might be a birthday party, a trip to the park or just a trip to Whole Foods, but it’s something. It’s close enough to our normal schedule not to make them antsy, but also an extra hand for me. Often I try to take him to a place I don’t know, so I can see if I need an extra hand, or to a place that is much more fun with an extra hand—the local zoo or farm, or a big playground.

  13. Allow me to be the voice of no plans on weekends. We usually do maybe one activity (currently swimming early Saturday) but spend the rest of the time at home. When the kids nap we take turns going out to run errands. I found I enjoy the weekend and am more rested for the workweek if we don’t try to rush around the state looking for activities. We also used to (pre-swim lessons) alternate morning responsibilities and I think you should do that with M. When I was home with the kids Husband was in charge of Sat AM (b/c I was so damn tired by Friday night) and I would do Sunday AM so he could rest and I’d take a few hours to myself Sunday afternoon. The keys is convincing Husband and M (and you and me) that chores can wait until after the kids are in bed during the week – not everything has to be perfect during the weekend. To that end sometimes I go in a bit late on Monday AM so I have time to pick up the house. You could do something similar by having a sitter come over Monday mornings.

  14. Awesome post! It’s exactly what I do when my hubby is off work the first day or two (he works 4 on 4 off). It is so frustrating for me many days as my routine is put on hold in expectation of …. what? Thanks for sharing!

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