I’ve been seeing a lot of newborn twins recently. While out and about with my 15 ½ month old twins, we’ve seen quite a few Snap N Go Doubles with little ones snuggled in their infant seats, pushed by frazzled looking moms who are trying their best to put on a happy face for the world. I smile when I see them. I once was that frazzled new mom. I remember those days. And while they had their good moments (between all the crying and just trying to survive), I’m glad we’re beyond them.
Sometimes I’ll catch a new MoT’s eyes and she’ll notice that I have my own double stroller in tow. She’ll smile back, and we’ll chitchat for a bit about our kids. But I’m always careful not to say the words that still echo in my mind on a daily basis: It gets so much easier. If I had a quarter for every time someone has said this to me…
The first few times I heard those words of encouragement, I actually felt reassured that better days were surely to come. But when things continued to get harder and harder during weeks 6-8, I had to grit my teeth to keep from shouting, “But it’s hard NOW!” And it was. With little help, and even less sleep, I was pushing myself through the tasks of each day just trying to make it to tomorrow and those easier days that I had coming to me.
Now, for those of you with newborns, I will not even try to pretend that my dealings with 15 ½ month olds is even remotely close to what you’re going through. My kids take two hour+ naps each day and sleep through the night. I get to shower each day, and I can’t remember the last time I missed a meal because I was too busy caring for my children. However, there are still plenty of difficult moments, and those moments happen almost everyday- someone’s crying/screaming/whining, someone’s throwing food, someone’s making a scene in a public place, someone’s trying to wiggle their way out of a stinky diaper change and making an even bigger mess than I already had to clean up, and the list goes on and on. While this may be easier, it’s not quite what I had in mind when I thought of things becoming much easier.
But, just like every mom out there, I love my kids. Even through the tough parts.
So while I’m chatting with that MoT while her newborns gurgle, coo, or squawk in the Snap N Go, I do not tell her that it gets so much easier. Instead, I tell her that everything she’s describing- feeding ‘round the clock, getting very little sleep, no time to eat, shower, or go to the bathroom, dealing with babies who sleep all day and fuss all night- is right on par for those early days/weeks/months with newborn twins. And then I try to paraphrase some of that Avenue Q song that gets me through the tough parts of our days:
Nothing lasts, Life goes on, Full of surprises.
You’ll be faced with problems of all shapes and sizes.
You’re going to have to make a few compromises…
For now… For now… But only for now…
So what about you? Experiencing those promised easier days or still trying to make it through the tough parts? What words give you hope for the future?