How I Hack It

After entering the contest to become a new How Do You Do It contributor, I got a little worried. What if I win? Don’t you kind of have to know what you’re doing to join a panel of writers telling folks how they do it? I spend half my life in the proverbial weeds, people! How do I do it? No clue.

Recently I was asked how I go to the grocery store. I’ve heard of these people who push the stroller, pull the cart and happily get it all done. They probably go home and make a freaking pot roast, too. Yeah, not me. Here’s how I “do” it.

The store is just two blocks away, which sounds convenient, but really it’s more of a pain since it means I’m there more often. I can’t justify driving since it’s so close and because the thought of putting the kids in the car seats for a 2 block drive, just to put them in the stroller, then lugging a cart behind me while shopping, most certainly knocking over several displays of canned goods, then putting them BACK in the car seats, then driving home and unloading it all…oh my god, I need to stop. I’m on vacation right now and this is killing my buzz!

Ok, so I walk. I throw my hair into a sloppy bun (not the cute sloppy, either), change from my housepants to something more appropriate (dog-hair covered yoga pants) and load the runts into the double BOB. Once at the store, I rest a basket or two on the handlebar. I way overfill the basket(s)* and put milk where the kids’ feet go. It’s only a matter of time before their feet are long enough and strong enough to boot the milk to the curb. (No idea what I’ll do then. Maybe get a cow for the backyard?) After being stopped by every single person in the store to discuss my children, I finally reach the checkout where I fill my reusable bags WAY too full with stuff and sling those over my shoulders, and then carrying the plastic bags in my hands my pathetic parade makes its way home, with Grand Marshall Me sweating profusely and losing the circulation in my fingers.

Oh, and I usually bring the dog along, just to make my life really difficult. Many days it’s her only walk. 4 blocks. Whoop dee doo. Once I forgot her and was almost home before I remembered. I seriously considered not going back.

Oh and one time I got home to find out that I had poo on my sleeve. That was special.

People who see me like this must think, oh man she must be having a tough day. Maybe her nanny called in sick or something? But no, this is my every day! Every day I have frizzy hair, nearly exploding fingers, poopy sleeves and a whole host of other issues.

If I ever pull it all together and figure out a smooth way to do this, or any other twin-related task, I’ll be sure to post about it. For now you readers will just have to make do with these snippets of my reality. Hopefully I can at least make you feel better about your life!

*None of the food I buy ever seems to add up to a meal for my husband and I, though. Argh.

19 thoughts on “How I Hack It

  1. Hilarious! I feel like my trips to the store are exactly the same, except for the people stopping me to talk about the kid..But everything else sounds sooo familiar! hahahaha..And how do all those groceries not add up to a dinner??

  2. I admire your candor….and have no doubt when those twin reach milk kicking age, you will have found that solution as well.

    GO ERIN!!!

  3. Have you been spying on me? That’s exactly how I do it! Each babe gets to play with something “fun” while I shop, like a bag of Babybels cheese or a potato. And then I get to checkout twice because I always forget to add what the kids are playing with.

    Hope there’s no photographic evidence of those return walks. I’m sure I look too run down for neighbors to even offer help!

    I try to make this pilgrimage only once or twice a week. For the staples (which still never add up to an adult meal) I use PeaPod. God bless deliverymen.

  4. I love this site but have never commented. I HAD to comment on this post. Thanks for bringing your hilarious reality. I do the pack-up-the-duo, drive-to-the-store route. One in the cart, one in a hiking backpack. I suspect that people confuse me with a sherpa by the end of the grocery run.

  5. Sounds about right, Bob and all. The only thing I’d add, is that I got this thing called a Mommy Hook. Totally worth the 5 bucks. You can hang the basket or the bags off the handle, you just have to make sure to unload everything before you let the kids off or the stroller will tip over….

  6. Hahahaha!

    No, seriously, I am laughing *with* you, not *at* you. I hear ya. On the one hand, yes, we get things done. Groceries are purchased. Wohoo. But man, sometimes it ain’t pretty.

    Thank you for sharing your totally realistic story. It obviously rings completely true with all of us. :-)

  7. Love this post!!! I live 3 blocks from the grocery and will second the recommendation for the Mommy Hook! My twins are 4 and I still find myself balancing my purchases on the handlebar (and in the underbasket). Milk now just goes on their lap – hey, they are the ones drinking it anyway! They don’t complain about it too much, or else I just put the cookies back on the shelf.

  8. Oh how I feel ya, sister. Except I have to do all that loading and unloading of critters in carseats and such.

    What do you do if, on the way home with your arms loaded to the breaking point, your pooch poops on the sidewalk?

  9. Ya, I have no idea how people pull the cart behind them as they push the stroller. I can barely push my double snap n go (with 35lbs of baby in it!) with two hands, let alone one!

    I have 3 hooks to get the shopping done – one Mommy Hook which looks like I have plans to go mountain climbing later with my carabiner, and two of these plastic hooks that are much stronger than they look. So, I can fill at least three reusable bags and they hold a lot! Also, I use the storage below for the milk and any other big items, like dog food.
    .-= Nicole´s last blog ..Way Back When-esday: Happy Birthday Lil Sis! =-.

  10. So I am one of those who push the double stroller ahead of me while pulling the cart behind me…and yeah, we get it done, but I assure you there isn’t much “happily” about it!! It’s more along the lines of moving as fast as possible to get home in time for naps, without forgetting anything on the list, without breaking a wrist from the strain of pushing the stroller or pulling the cart one-handed, not to mention putting on your game face so when people stare at you, you just look like this is the most normal thing ever and you just dare them to come up and ask you about it. I often feel like a moving zoo exhibit or something with all the looks I get. (And in all honesty, usually my husband does the grocery shopping on his way home from work–I only go with the kids in dire cirumstances!)

  11. I’m one of those that push my BOB and pull a cart behind me, and it really isn’t that hard once you get the hang of it.

    Anyway, you should get a couple of those hooks that velcro onto stoller handlebars. They are AWESOME!!!

    Check out -
    http://think-king.com/

  12. I hear you about the grocery shopping not resulting in a complete meal!

    I’ve recently started using online grocery ordering and home delivery through my local grocery store. I use it a couple of times per month. It’s $12.50 for next-day delivery (I also give the guy a $5 tip) or $15.50 for same-day delivery. The delivery guy brings it right into my kitchen. I use this for bulky or heavy items (esp. dog food, soda, beer, gallons of milk, frozen pizzas), and this way I can run to the grocery store with the double stroller and get smaller items and produce when needed, using canvas shopping bags. It doesn’t work perfectly — very rarely they substitute an item that I don’t want — but I consider my time as a SAHM to be worth AT LEAST the delivery charge & tip. : )
    .-= Ellen K.´s last blog ..American girls =-.

  13. You have perfectly captured my reality. This post captures the essence of multiple-mommyhood! I’m always sweating, and even simple outings are complicated.

  14. now THAT is tellin’ like it is! and that is exactly “how” we moms of multiples “do it”!! We just get out there and get the job done….or mostly done. I just remembered the milk in the back of my minivan about 2 hours after I got home…at least i remembered to unload all the kids..ha!

  15. “People who see me like this must think, oh man she must be having a tough day. Maybe her nanny called in sick or something? But no, this is my every day! Every day I have frizzy hair, nearly exploding fingers, poopy sleeves and a whole host of other issues.”

    HYSTERICAL! I hear ya sister! I get tired of people saying “you look tired”.
    .-= becky@oursweetpeas´s last blog ..Organizing all the LITTLE toys that become a big problem =-.

  16. I’m a SAHM, so I ALWAYS do the grocery shopping. As a matter of fact, my husband has never taken all three kids out at once! lol! Circumstantial though…… yes I am a stroller pushing, cart pulling mom, and YES I get stopped by every random person to ask if they are twins (duh how else would I have two kids the same size?) and all that other jazz. freaking hilarious!

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