Gambling Again

Our family is on a pretty tight budget. So, I try to maximize a good deal when I find one. While on bed rest during my third trimester, I read an article in a parenting magazine that recommended shopping clearance sales for good deals on children’s clothing. The article talked about how you could save a ton of money on brand name clothing by buying it at the end of the season for the following year. This sounded like a great plan to me. However, it didn’t mention that growth patterns in young children can be unpredictable, so this type of shopping is actually a little like gambling. You place your bet on the clothing size you think your children will be wearing about 10 months from the purchase date, and then hope and prey that your bet pays off big time down the road.

I know this shopping strategy works for some moms. I have mom friends who email me when they notice end of season clearance sales going on, and they tell me all about the great deals they got buying clothing for their own kids. But my kids are on the small side, and don’t seem to grow like weeds like everyone else’s kids. Although they were born at 38 weeks, both measuring 18.5 inches and weighing 5 pounds 15.6 ounces (Cool, huh? Especially since they’re not identical.), they’ve grown very, very slowly ever since. They wore newborn diapers and 0-3 months clothing for almost 6 months. Still, at the end of last summer when I started shopping from the clearance racks, I figured they’re bound to hit a growth spurt at some point. So I bought a nice stack of 12 month sized clothes for my son and my daughter, who would be 15 months at the start of the following summer. And when the end of winter clearance sales started this past spring, I bought cute fall/winter clothes sized 18 months for each.

Unfortunately, my gambling didn’t pay off the way I’d hoped. At their 12 month well visit in March, my son measured almost 28 inches long and weighed about 18.5 pounds, and my daughter measured 28 inches long and weighed about 15.5 pounds. At that point, they were both wearing 9 months and 6-12 months clothing, but most of their clothes were a bit big and I had to roll up the sleeves and roll down the waist lines. Three months later, when summer began and I pulled out all the cute clothes I had bought last summer, I was disappointed to find that about ½ of the items I’d purchased did not fit them yet. The t-shirts were okay- a bit big, but they would work- but the shorts were not even close- too big in the waist and too way too long for my son. The dresses for my daughter were a bit long too, but luckily still wearable. I kept the too big clothes in their closet, thinking that at some point over the summer, they’d begin to grow into them, but no such luck. At almost 18 months, my son is around 21 pounds and my daughter is just over 18 pounds, both with short little legs that have kept them in mostly 9 month sized clothes all summer long. And I’d bet the farm that by next summer, those 12 month clothes will be too small. Money down the drain? Perhaps. Although, I’m hoping to recoup my losses at the twin sale next spring by reselling these brand new items at the same price I paid (which shouldn’t be too hard since I paid only $2-4 dollars for each piece).

The good news is that those 6-12 month clothes that were too big last spring are finally starting to fit and should be perfect for this fall. Only time will tell if the money I put down on those 18 month fall/winter clothes will pay off big time. At the rate they seem to be growing, I predict they’ll be in some of those clothes by spring 2010 and maybe still in them at the beginning of fall 2010.

So, with a budget that’s oh so tight, and a gambling record like mine, is it worth it to try my hand at the end of summer clearance sales again? I hope so, because it’s already been done. This time, my money is down on spring/summer clothes mostly size 18 months. If I don’t win it big next summer, I may be out for good.

Do you like to gamble with end of season clearance sales? Have you mastered the art of hitting it big, or do you go bust with money down on bad bets? And what other secrets might you have about outfitting your kids without breaking the bank?

Find the Currency…

Control the Child.  Or something like that.
 
My sister dropped this pearl of mommy wisdom on me recently.  She can’t take credit for it, though – Dr. Phil has it trademarked.  I haven’t watched Dr. Phil in years, so I have absolutely no clue if he has any other parenting gems.  But this one?  This one I like. 
 
Amelia and Ella will be two next month, and in typical two year-old fashion, they have started developing very strong (and sometimes odd) affinities toward certain objects, activities, food items, etc.  Say it with me, people: currency. 
 
Ella’s currency is easy – crackers, crackers, and more crackers.  Keep ‘em coming, baby.  She sat through an entire Easter Sunday Mass with nary a peep (if you discount the crunching noises).  I bring an entire box of crackers with me to the grocery store and sometimes throw another in the cart if things get hairy.  She just cannot get enough.  She is equally obsessed with her “Baby”, a raggedy blue bear that I only allow her to have at nap and bedtime.  I recently started using her love affair with Baby to my advantage.  You may recall my documented struggle with tooth brushing.  Struggle over.  If she refuses to allow me access to the cracker chompers, I threaten to put Baby in time-out.  Man, you should see how fast her little mouth opens! 

Amelia, on the other hand, is my horse of a different color.  She likes crackers but is no fiend like her sister.  And, while she does have a rather strong affinity toward her stuffed kitty, it’s not powerful enough to allow Mommy a decent whack at brushing her teeth.  Hrmph.  She is much more stubborn than Ella (no clue where she gets this), making it difficult for me to find her currency.  But, I think I may have found her one real motivator thus far – dessert.  I got her to eat a serious serving of asparagus tonight just by dangling 7 piddly M&Ms in front of her.  If she is acting up at dinnertime, I threaten to withhold her dessert privilege.  Works like a charm for the half hour that is dinnertime.  What of the other 11.5 waking hours, you ask?  Yep, I got nothin’. 

So, what about your kiddos?  Have you found their currency?  Do tell…

Sick times two

Last night, I took one of my daughters (7 months old) to see the doctor because I thought she had pink eye.  I was right.  Now, I’m supposed to try to keep her from touching her eyes, and to keep her hands clean so she doesn’t spread it to anyone else. This is only the second time the girls have been sick.  Last time was a cold that everyone in the house had. But now I’m thinking about the coming fall and winter’s cold and flu season. I use separate wash clothes for girls when one is sick, but they still sleep together, play together, and spend most of the day close together.  And, I don’t sterilize between breastfeedings :) .

What do you do when one multiple gets sick, especially when they are too young to understand about washing hands and coughing in their sleeves? How do you manage with two sick, demanding little ones?  And, for those with older children, how do you teach them to avoid spreading germs when they are contagious?

Summer Weather + Relaxation = Potty Training?

With our singleton, every milestone and transition came with a plan. Stopping the bottle, transitioning to a big girl bed, potty training, you name it. We had a well-researched, discussed-to-death plan for all of those things. And, in the end, all of those transitions took longer than I would have liked and almost all came with regressions and tears.

When we found out we were having twin boys, I thought “Oh God, I need more PLANS”. I started analyzing how and when we did certain things with our daughter and trying to mentally alter the plans. But so far, they’ve made all the transitions on their own and rather spontaneously. With NO PLANS. Dropping the bottle and going to cup only. Check. Sleep schedules. Check. Crib-to-bed transition. Check.

We’ve turned the corner on two years and next up on the list: Potty-training. I had always thought we wouldn’t even introduce this concept until they are 3 because, well, it sounds hard! Two BOYS? No thanks. But after reading about other Multiple Mama’s recent potty successes, Brian and I decided to take advantage of the warm summer weather — and fenced in backyard — and have a go.

First, I took to heart a post from Amazing Trips. The blog has documented the struggles of potty training the triplets. The PLANS, the manuevers, the bribes. Everything. But then this post describes the recent success of potty training the youngest child by simply allowing him the freedom to figure it out. Huh.

I mentioned all this to Brian. The next nice day, he took the boys outside and took off their diapers. He placed a potty seat outside and they all poured water into it while Brian said “potty, potty”. There was a lot of excitement and clapping. And they went on to playing as normal (sans diapers*).

Brady

Then, miraculously, out of the blue, Brady ran over to it yelling “pee pee” and WENT. IN THE POTTY. And then proceeded to do this on a consistent basis for the rest of the morning. And afternoon. And the next day. Nice.

Then, building on LauraC’s thoughts of “peer pressure” when potty-training twins, we decided to focus our energy on Brady, since he seemed to be the one so interested. We put Brady in pull-ups and he tells us potty and he tries. He can pee often, hasn’t pooped yet but is putting in the effort. At some point, Aaron will follow along, right? Right. Aaron now grabs himself (lovely boy habit) and yells “PEE PEE”. And then goes. Wherever he is. So he has the concept of the bodily function down, now we just have to get him to the potty. But, he’s interested because Brady is doing it.

We still have a way to go. But I wanted to thank these (and other) Mothers of Multiples for putting two ideas in my head — that went against the PLANS I was forming — that seem to actually be working!

*Sans diapers AND with blue, princess high-heeled shoes. We’re all about fashion.

Cross-posted at our family blog: www.thewjourney.com

Ode to the (Dreaded) Grocery Store

Oh grocery store, I’ve been thinking, and I despise you each week.

I might even consider you my “nemesis,” so to speak.

When my twins were smaller, it felt impossible to stop by

With TWO baby carriers in a cart- WHERE would my groceries lie?

For a while I tired pushing the Quattro Duo to stroll through

With bags hanging from handles, underneath, and on top of the babies too.

Not ideal to say the least, but it kinda worked for me in the past

But last week things changed, my friends…my wildest dreams surpassed!

After parking by the basket return, placing one in the seat, one in the back

I pushed the cart to the door and about had a heart attack.

Suddenly, it was leaping and jumping with joy and in awe

I squealed and giggled and could not believe what I saw.

There in front of my eyes was a cart that appeared

One with TWO front seats- they’ve never had those here!

I quickly began moving my girls over to the new find

They grinned as they were buckled in side by side.

Hallelujah!  Something that makes my shopping easier… I thought

Then reality sunk in and I was a tad bit distraught.

With twins in tow (“the ticking time bombs”), it’s a race against time.

Before they’re sleepy or hungry, and letting out a whine.

So the basket may be a blessing to me to some degree,

But grocery store, oh grocery store- you still drain ALL  my energy.

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Reese and Riley

*I usually try to do most of our grocery shopping on the weekends (without my girls :) ).  What about you?  How do you it?!  I’ve found the grocery store to be one of my biggest challenges!  

Three girls, three outfits

After giving birth to three baby girls at once, it’s safe to say that I was a bit excited at the prospect of having to purchase adorable outfits in triplicate.  I can honestly say that I never gave much thought to whether I would dress the girls in matching, coordinating or completely different outfits.  Because we had a closet full of newborn clothes received at my shower when I was pregnant with my angel baby, I did not purchase much of anything while pregnant.  

After the girls were born, family and friends gave us clothes upon clothes.  Mostly matching or coordinating outfits.  Now, I don’t know how you all dealt with clothing changes with your newborns but in our house, the baby wore something until she spit up or peed/pooped on it.  Any attempts at dressing in matching outfits usually ended within an hour.

And then I started purchasing end of season sale items for the next year.  If I saw three matching dresses in the size I needed, how could I not purchase all three?  It was just easy.  And then the girls stopped spitting up and peeing/pooping on outfits and dressing them alike became, well, easy and in our world, easy is good.  I run a tight ship when it comes to organizing their closet and because of that, it is too easy to grab matching outfits.

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I have to mention what occurs when we venture out into the public with identical triplets dressed in identical clothes.  Well, not completely identical as they have different shoes.  I have come to the conclusion that we are not asked, “Are they triplets?” as often if they are dressed the same.  And I don’t know about you but I like to keep those questions to a minimum.  I also find that it is easier for me to keep track of the three of them if they are dressed the same and we are in a crowded place where they are running around.  (Note that this type of situation is definitely kept to a minimum.)

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If I purchase clothing items that aren’t on super clearance, I try to buy nonmatching.  Sometimes only because it is fun to pick out three different outfits.  And now that the girls are a bit older, I have been trying to dress them in completely different outfits when we attend functions or parties.  I still do have that fear that someone is going to think that I am favoring one of the girls by dressing her in a cuter outfit than her sisters.  Even dressed completely differently, family members still confuse who is who.

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As soon as the girls can pick out their own clothes, I will not be forcing matching outfits.  And no, I don’t think that they are going to suffer some type of identity crisis from being dressed in matching outfits now.

After being on the internet for the past two years, it appears that most moms with same sex multiples either dress their kids alike or dress them completely differently (for the most part.)  Do you feel strongly one way or the other?  Why?

The Gentle Truth

A very good friend of mine recently had twins, and since they arrived we’ve texted back and forth.  A lot of hers are variations on, “How did you do this?” or “When does it get easier?”  While I love the opportunity to help out where possible, and to act as an “expert” (HA!), I hate that she’s in the weeds sometimes.  And what I hate even more is confirming to her that the weeds are where she’s gonna be for a while.

Don’t you always want to paint a pretty picture for these moms?  You’ve had them painted for you, so why not pass on the favor, right?  You want to tell them that it will get better!  For instance, when I told my stepsister (a fellow MOT) that my 6 week u/s had confirmed twins, her first words were: “It gets better when they’re 3.”  Wait.  That wasn’t at all helpful.  It was actually more of a buzzkill.  But usually we try to stay positive, right?

Since this new mom and I are so close, I really do try to be as honest as I can.  I sent her links to my old blog like this one,  but at the same time, I do think I’m giving her too much hope for the days of plush toys, gyminis, and exersaucers.   Let’s get real.  Those things are helpful, but they only do so much, right?

Balancing the truth with comfort and hope is so hard!  New and expectant moms – when you’re asking us for help, just how much do you want?  Do you want to know about all the times I sat sobbing between two bawling babies, not sure which one to help?  Do you want to know about the time it took me 2 hours to leave my house because of the Cavalcade of Poo?  Or what about the other time I sat sobbing between two bawling babies…or the time after that?  How about all the “Shut Up Walks” I took Every Single Day for months from 5:15 – 6:15 when my husband would get home?  Or would you like me to do like my stepsis and condemn you to three years in hell and be done with you?

Wouldn’t you rather just hear good things?

“The babies will be over their reflux/sleeping through the night/entertaining themselves by the end of the week for sure!”

“Oh those smiles make up for everything.”

“They really start crying less once they can play with toys.”

In the end, I try to keep it positive, with a small dose of reality.  I think that moms need to know they’re not the only ones who sit home and cry, or hate (for brief stints) the fact that they have twins or want to smack their husbands.  But they also need to stay upbeat and polishing up the old truth can go a long way.

Guest Post: Manly Expectations

Mommy, Esq. is a lawyer at a Big Firm and mom to almost 12 month old twins, Edmund (Ned) and Penelope. In between conference calls and deal closings she thanks her lucky stars for an unbelievable Husband (and co-parent) and nanny. You can find her blog about Big Law and the three loves of her life at www.mommyesq.com.

My son Ned is a cuddler. He likes to “stop by” as he cruises the playroom to be picked up and put his head on your shoulder. There are “kisses” too – although sometimes biting would be more accurate. But when Ned gets frustrated he shouts and hollers at the world, tearing up and sometimes throwing himself backward to have a tantrum (I thought that was in our future!). The nanny and I rub his back when he’s upset and tell him “he’s okay”, and will pick him up for a cuddle.

Ned will not like to be diapered and dressed after his nighttime bath. Partly this is because he’s pretty tired by the time bedtime has rolled around and partly because he’s getting out the rest of his energy. I diaper him standing up and lotion and dress him as he barrels around his bedroom. My husband thinks we should be teaching Ned that sometimes you just have to lie still for a few minutes and “get it over with”. I give Ned 3 chances of standing up in the bathtub (dangerous!) before I just take him out (I do say “no” with the ASL sign (the only one I know)); my husband’s approach is to say “no” and putting him down until bathtime (for both kids) is over.

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My husband thinks I coddle Ned. He wants our son to be strong and to problem solve and not always go running to mommy. I sort of laugh because, I mean, he’s a baby! But it has gotten me thinking – how do you turn your little boys from babies into men? We spent so much time this first year of their lives just “surviving” that promoting self reliance and discipline has fallen a bit by the wayside. When both parents work you try to maximize the fun, loving time instead of working on utensil use or self-play. And I know the number of things they will need to learn to do on their own is just going to get longer!

Do you see a difference in the expectations you or your spouse have for sons and daughters? In what ways do you encourage self-reliance in your kids?

Identity Crisis

My boys look alike.
A&B

Thankfully they have distinct voices and personalities. And, for the most part, I can tell them apart by sight as well. Although, occasionally even I will look at a photo and say, “I’m not sure but I THINK that is…..” For example, this photo:
mystery

I could make an educated guess. But I won’t. Because I would likely be wrong.

This concerns me, because if I, the mother who knows them better than anyone (excluding their father, of course) can get confused, that most certainly means the rest of the world will be even MORE confused.

And they are not interchangable. They are unique. They are their own people.

We try to help out the rest of the world. We try to eliminate those awkward moments at family parties where an aunt or uncle wants to call to one of them but really…has no clue which boy it is. Or worse, is confident they DO know them apart, when in fact, they are wrong.

So, we resist the urge to put them in adorable matchy-matchy outfits and we use clothing to provide visual clues to the outside world of who is who. When we are out in public, Blue=Brady. Simple as that. No confusion, no awkward pause. Aunts, uncles and cousins can always say with complete confidence “Hello, Brady” or “Here’s a cracker, Aaron.”

This has been working for us since their birth. Because it goes beyond eliminating the discomfort of others. It provides Aaron and Brady with their own, easily recognized identities with no pause or confusion. And our family and friends can focus more on their other qualities rather than spending entire visits distinguishing who is who. They are almost never referred to as “the twins”. They are Aaron and Brady. “Brady Blue”, but Brady nonetheless.
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Do any other MoMs consciously give the outside world a little friendly nudge? If so, what do you do? I’d love to hear other ideas!

Let's play a guessing game!

I will post a picture of myself and you guess how many days pregnant I was! Let’s start with an easy one.

10

Let’s see… flat stomach, looking bored rather than constant multi-tasking, plenty of time to take entertaining photos mocking my telecommuting… that would be zero days pregnant.

Time to guess again! How pregnant am I in the following picture?

36 weeks with twins

My readers will know I was exactly 36w with fraternal twin boys in this picture. My stomach hurts when I see that picture now. Singleton bellies look so cute and fun in comparison, huh?

Last picture… and I want you to think really hard before answering. Look at the two pictures above for comparison and guess how pregnant I was in the following picture:

1LauraAndJon007

Okay do you have a guess in your mind? Have you really thought about it? Make a guess.

Here’s the answer: it is a trick question. I was not pregnant in that picture. My boys were already born! This is the day I checked out the hospital, when my boys were 5 days old.

A couple of lessons here:

* If you’re pregnant with multiples, bring some BIG maternity clothes to the hospital with you when you deliver. The general rule is that you will look 6 months pregnant after birth, but that’s not 6 months-cute-singleton-belly pregnant. Bring clothes that comfortably fit when YOU were 6 months pregnant. I actually wore my biggest clothes home because OUCH twin c-section incision still healing. And the boobs… they continued to grow.

* Keep taking photos. I CRIED when I saw that picture, I mean I really bawled. This is not how you envision you will look post-partum when someone is taking pictures of you with your newborns. But I told my husband to keep snapping and make sure I was in plenty of pictures. I now treasure the photos where I have a huge jelly belly and I am cuddling my sweet smelling newborns because now they are big three year olds. And when my boys turned one, I was still not back to my pre-pregnancy shape (and am still not!) but when I used the above photo for comparison, I felt so much better about the progress I had made. So keep snapping!