Different is Good

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Categories Development, Fraternal

The other day (well, when it wasn’t 152 DEGREES here in TX, so really a few months ago), the girls and I went on a walk and made a stop by the neighbor’s “Candy Stand.”  She is so stinkin’ cute- going into 1st grade and already coming up with business ideas (selling left over Halloween candy for 25 cents each- ha!)- smart girl.  :) I was chatting with Mabry and her mom about Reese and Riley when she asked if they were identical or fraternal twins.  I told her- fraternal, and Mabry said, “I know what fraternal means!  Similar but different.  I learned that on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody!”  Gotta love the Disney channel!  Ha!

 I love little Mabry’s definition because that is exactly what they are.  To some degree I think before having twins, I expected them to be “the same.”  It never crossed my mind that they’d be in different places in development.  But it certainly makes sense, and it’s becoming more and more evident that they really ARE different people!  Riley has always been a bit behind Reese, even in the womb (that’s why I had them early).  She’s not crawling or pulling up, but our OT and pedi say she has all the strength she needs… just not the motivation. :) So… I try not to worry (I am quite the worrier though, which is silly).  She does continue to surprise and amaze me when I take time to notice the strides- big and small.  (And- when I make sure I’m not comparing my baby girls). 

*Reese has 4 and 2 halves teeth, and Riley has none, BUT it hasn’t stopped her from eating “table food” like a champ!

*Reese has ‘snooted’ (as I like to call it!) baby food for several months now and only eats ‘table food.’  Riley used to dramatically gag on table food, BUT now eats so well and prefers it to baby food.  Just 3 days ago, she even began picking it up by herself rather than staring at me with her mouth wide open like a little bird. :)  YAY, Ri!

 *Reese started crawling at 9 months, while Riley was/is very content sitting and cheerfully watching, BUT she’s started rocking on her hands and knees!  Woo hoo!

*Reese has been pulling up for the past several weeks.  Riley says- NO thank you!  She doesn’t like to bear weight on her feet, BUT she DOES love to bounce on her feet.  (It’s hilarious actually!)

I never thought ahead to the fact that they might not be “the same,” but at the same time I love how they are so much their own person.   It makes me so proud of each of them- so proud of their giant strides, their small strides, and how far they’ve come this past year.  I love that I’m reminded to view my precious babies as individuals rather than “twins.”  You know, I think different is good!  I love that because they are different, Riley might not be doing exactly what Reese is, and that’s okay.  She’ll get there!  

What major differences in development with your multiples?







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10 thoughts on “Different is Good”

  1. We’ve got identical girls that are 7 months old. They are so different, but yet they are so similar. Sometimes while one is sleeping and I’m getting some one-on-one time one of my babies, she will laugh at me and smile and I have to say, “Gosh, you that’s exactly your sister’s mannerisms.” The development of skills at different times has been hard to handle. You can’t help but worry if the other one is “normal.” But I do notice one of the girls is stronger in the motor skills and my other girl is stronger with her social skills. We like to say one is the brains and the other is the muscle of the operation.

  2. We have a boy/girl and a huge size difference (Ned probably has close to 5 lbs on Penny) in my almost (gasp!) 12 month olds. Size makes a difference in gross motor skills but not fine motor skills we’ve discovered. To be honest I can’t really think of one thing they do “the same”. Since I look and act so much like one of my triplet sisters I’m totally fine with that.
    .-= Mommy, Esq.´s last blog ..Vacation Teaser =-.

  3. Great post. I have fraternal B/G twins that are also incredibly different. One is developing faster than the other, just like yours. I am learning so much lately about enjoying them each for who they are and being content with where they are at individually. Not expecting them to do the “same” things or be the “same” person. This has been one of my greatest struggles as a twin mom so far.
    .-= Vicky @ thecitycradle´s last blog ..8 months- Wonderful days… =-.

  4. Same here. My identical boys are 16 months Marcus (baby A and first born) does pretty much every physical thing first. Maddox does most verbal/social things first.

    It took me a LONG time to realize this. It is so hard NOT to compare the two. Marcus started crawling first…it took weeks for Maddox to start crawling and I would stress and stress that he would never crawl.

    As soon as I get to the point where I feel like I should call the pediatrician..Maddox starts to do whatever it is I was worrying about.

    So..over the months I have learned to sit back and just be patient. Each of them will do things when they want to. Of course, it hasn’t stopped me from worrying though :-)
    .-= Erin´s last blog ..Visitor =-.

  5. One of my identical 9mo girls has always been somewhat bigger than the other, and in the first months it really made a difference in gross motor skills (lifting head, rolling over, etc.). But the day they were 6mo, the smaller one began to crawl, while the other took weeks to lift her fat belly off the floor, hehe, though she did move around like that. They seem to alternate phases when one is more advanced in gross and the other in fine motor skills, and vice-versa. Both are equally social in their own ways. Teeth come first to the smaller one, but the other follows within a week or two, in the same order. The bigger one is definitely ahead in her attempts to talking now, and she is pointing at things more consistently.
    .-= Julia´s last blog ..Protetores de tomada… =-.

  6. i have identical boy triplets, and they are all pretty close, developmentally. but miles (baby C) has always been slightly ahead with gross motor stuff like rolling, crawling, and walking. maybe because he’s my little guy?

    oliver seems to be ahead with communication, but they’re all behind, so it’s all relative. :)

    teeth all come in at around the same time. OH JOY!
    .-= pam´s last blog ..Need a new purse? =-.

  7. Having my daughters in the NICU for so long quickly showed me how “different” they are from one another. I remember being so frustrated when one would reach various milestones and the others weren’t close. One of the nurses said something that has always stuck with me :”If you only had one child you wouldn’t have anything to compare her to, so try not to compare the others.” It made sense… but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still compare sometimes when it comes to speech, etc.
    .-= Quadmama´s last blog ..Eight Years Ago…. =-.

  8. My fraternal boys (age 26 mos) are very different in looks, temperament and personality. They look more and more different as they get older, their hair colors and features mean that strangers rarely ask me if they are twins. Some people mistake them for close-age siblings, it seems. One of mine is a TALKER- he is talking non-stop, so the other one has been relatively quiet, in comparison… Until lately. He is recently startign to catch up with speech. With all the noise its hard for him to get a word in edgewise, it seems. To all those MoMs waiting for one twin to catch up with the other, I say relax it all comes in time as I’m seeing that unfold with my boys.

  9. I think the “similiar but different” definition applies to identical twins as well (did you see the PBS episode on epigenetics?). Developmentally, one can learn something first, but the other one will pick it up faster or maybe take it to another level. Oh, in general they reach milestones within a week of each other, but the aptitude or emphasis of it varies (again, I refer to the PBS episode on identical twins and epigenetics). So similar but different definitely applies.
    .-= Judy´s last blog ..Playmates: for me or for them? =-.

  10. I have b/g twins now at a staggering 11months or 9 corrected. my boy is the mover and shaker of the two. He sat up first, rolled first, pulled up to stand first. but my girl she’s my thinker she may not have done the milestone things first but when she did them she did them well almost like she calculated how best to do each thing then simply did it.

    However verbally she’s ahead more words and sounds so much so that I was worried about our boy, at the brink of calling EI because he didn’t utter a word just the odd sound until 8months (corrected) then spat out a handful of words, mum, dad, bub all in the one evening. perfectly formed.

    I think the differences can be hard because we DO compare them but also that the differences are wonderful because as we DO compare them we see their little personalities better. in my case to be a tad crass, the jock and the nerd :)
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..purple monkey highchair =-.

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