We Took To Vacationing Separately

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Categories Relationships, Travel

Rachel is a number cruncher by day, the birth mom in a two-mom household to boy/girl 16 ½ month old twins. A new website is coming, but for now, you can read more about ‘em at http://rajencreation.wordpress.com/

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She’s done this for years.

Hours upon hours, she is happy to look out over the gently rippling coastal waters of south Louisiana, casting a line over the boat, sitting, sitting, sitting, egrets flying overhead, a wild boar rustling in the marsh, a breeze rushing by to move the warm air, sitting, sitting. And then. “zzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzz!”, the sound of a speckled trout or redfish or drum or flounder taking the bait. Up on her feet, rod bowed, reeling firmly and quickly until the fish becomes weightless in the salty air, a net rushing in underneath it to bring it into the boat. And then. Again.

Beloved Fishing

I have been witness and participant for nearly a decade, once, maybe twice a year, nothing more relaxing for Jennifer than to go fishing for days on end. It warms my heart to know there is something she is so excited and passionate about.

So in July, when an opportunity presented itself for her to go, we didn’t think twice about it. She would go. And she would fish. And she would relax.

A.L.O.N.E.

Because being in a car for six hours sans kids seven to ten hours ONE WAY to get there? Only to arrive and sit on a fourteen foot boat with twin toddlers for six hour stretches? Or me taking vacation days to stay with the kids on a non-baby proofed barge surrounded by water for fourteen hours a day… WHEN WE HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD HOUSE AND NANNY AT HOME? Are you kidding me?

We’ve never been big vacationers. We take quick weekend trips here or there, for cousin birthday parties or family gatherings. In fact, most of our time off is huddled around holidays and our vacation time is spent traveling to and from the homes of our family. Our current commute maximum is a three hour drive. Everybody else gets a card.

Life is too short to spend it stressed. With the twins, we’ve felt that the amount of work preparing for and during said ‘vacation’ times is simply counteractive to any desired relaxation. Would I have liked to have gone fishing, too? Absolutely. But during this phase of post-infancy toddlerhood, it’s just better for our family unit, for one of us to stay home with the kids while the other travels. Because what’s the point of BPA-free if you willingly subject yourself to the toxicity of the nuclear fallout that is two kids forced to adjust to everything unfamiliar.

So when an opportunity presented itself for me to crash in my sister’s hotel room FOR FREE while she was in New York City on business, I went. I’d never been. And I’d always wanted to go. Side note: the pace of New York City – the city, the traffic, the subway, the foot traffic – is nothing compared to parenting twin toddlers.

In the days before I left town, I had lunch with a business associate who said to me “uh oh, separate vacations is never a good sign”. But I completely disagree (and so did she once I explained): By traveling separately, neither of our kids was forced to be subjected to change for the sole purpose of fulfilling our individual travel opportunities. Not to mention that neither locale was conducive to young children. There will be plenty of time later to travel together for a destination vacation, maybe when the kids are in their mid-two’s. Until then, three days apart each trip wasn’t horribly painful. We tasted the sweetness and great joy of love and affection for each other and our kids upon our respective returns. We returned spent, but refreshed. And we both got to do something we enjoyed.

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Want to know how my super fun trip to New York City went? Click here!

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7 thoughts on “We Took To Vacationing Separately”

  1. I am planning a trip to visit a friend of mine in VA in March. I told DH that I would going ALONE and he was in charge of the kids. Period. It will be good for him to be alone with the kids for once and good for me to have a real break. I would be more than happy to reciprocate but he travels for work so I doubt I will have to. :)

  2. Agreed! Jon and I have been taking solo trips since the boys were a year old. We used to take solo trips before the boys were born too because me + Jon UnitJoinedAtTheHip. I will never care about hockey the way he does and he will never care about meeting up with friends the way I do.

    And yeah, dragging kids along? Not a vacation.
    .-= LauraC´s last blog ..Yet more pool photos, this time in the backyard =-.

  3. I totally agree with Laura. Once the kids get involved, it is no longer a vacation. The times we have taken them on trips we come back feeling much more tired than when we left and there is usually plenty of stress involved along the way. My husband has a solo trip coming up in October and then it is my turn. I just have to figure out what I want to do!
    .-= Erin´s last blog ..Yo Gabba What? =-.

  4. Makes me feel better to have read this. We recently cancelled Labor Day plans with friends because I didn’t feel up to herding the twins all weekend at a home that wasn’t babyproofed and on a lake. I feel like a flake, but I didn’t know what I was in for with twin toddlers.

  5. You know, I’d actually like to do more of this. The trouble is that it’s not my husband’s cup of tea, so it would feel rather off-balance for me to take solo trips and for him to have none. Still, though, I think that sometimes doing your own thing is better for everyone. No need to drag along the whole meshugenah for one person, especially with kids this age!

  6. We actually took separate vacations BEFORE the kids were born. My husband is a board gaming geek. Spending a week at a board gaming convention is pretty much my idea of hell. So every August we would take separate vacations and I’d go spend the week with my mom for shopping and fun. Now that the kids are here, he still goes to play games in August and I get 3-4 girls weekends away.

    Although, we do quite a bit of long distance traveling with our kids. Our first trip was at 6 months. They are great little travelers. We just save the family trips for things that interest the entire family or at least those that we think are worth the extra effort.
    .-= Rhonda´s last blog ..this here’s the Rubber Duck =-.

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