While I was still pregnant, Will and I went to our first Multiples’ Club social event. Actually, endured is probably a better word. Cocktail party-engorged cankles and nary a mojito in which to drown my sorrows – the horror! Those issues aside however, it was a lovely affair. I was the only knocked-up attendee, so I was duly fawned over and given lots of encouragement and advice.
One piece of advice that I always remembered went a little like this, “The twins club is great for gear and twin-specific info, but join a singleton moms’ group, too.” Her first reason was pretty obvious to me – you don’t want your kids hanging out will just twins. Weird! But I don’t know if I would have thought of her second reason – hanging out with singleton moms means they can help you twin-wrangle!
Ever been anywhere with another twin mom or two*? It’s a blast to watch the kids run around, and it’s always fun to watch the double takes from passers-by, but once the wanderlust hits, you are on your own, sister! On the other hand, go on an outing with a couple singleton moms and the grown-up to toddler ratio starts to look a little more manageable.
Keeping this advice in mind, I joined a “straight up” moms’ group when the babies were just about 3 months old. I paid my dues online and was assigned to a playgroup of 12 other new moms with kids born April – June of 2008. For those first several months we sat in one anothers’ living rooms, lamenting the difficulties of breast feeding or sleep deprivation, while the other moms’ babies slept sweetly in their carseats/bjorns/ergos. (Not mine, of course. Mine always screeched like banshees during those first meetings. I figure the other gals were heavy handed with the Tylenol or something.)
Recently, though, our meetings have become a bit more..ah…busy. The living rooms are a thing of the past and now parks are the go-to destination. Screw square footage, we need acres, man! Kids are crawling, walking, running and climbing all over, and we moms are on high alert. The great thing is, we’ve become so close that watching over each other’s children comes naturally. I even find myself doing it for the other women, at the occasional peril of my own kids.
While, of course I know I can’t just dump my kids off at the park and head off for a nice mani/pedi (YET), it is so comforting to have more people patrolling the toddlers. I even get to have real adult conversations sometimes! (Albeit, brief ones.)
What it boils down to, is that I highly recommend all new moms, twins or otherwise, join or start a local moms’ group. Especially when you’re matched up with same aged kids, you’ll have a constant source of support, ideas, and playmates for your kid(s)! And as a bonus for twin moms, the singleton (honestly, there has GOT to be a better word) moms will constantly be bowing down to your SuperMomness.
Not convinced? Here’s an example of how the singleton mom to twin mom ratio really worked out for me a few playdates back. It was at a park near my house and somehow on the 5 minute stroller ride between my house and the park, Sarah’s eye and face swelled up to twice its size. I rushed her off to the doctor while the moms kept Matty until my mom could come pick him up. As you all know, hauling two kids to the doc alone is no fun, so it was so great to be able to leave him with my friends.
*Or EIGHT? I also belong to a multiples playgroup and recently we had eight moms and 16 kids in attendance! Insanity!