I’m one of the lucky ones. I have a husband who not only is great with the girls but willingly helps out. All. The. Time.
I remember those first few months after the girls were born and how Rich would never complain about the difficulty in caring for a newborn preemie infant throughout the night while having to rise early in the morning to head off to work. The statement “you’re at home all day and I have to work” was never uttered in our home.
Rich and I have both been working full time for awhile now so there is not much free time for anyone in our world. We have an unspoken pact that we will allow the other alone time when needed. At two and a half years old, it is much easier for one of us to care for the girls so we try to take turns sleeping in on the weekends. Rich is an early riser more often than not so there have been several weekends where I have had the benefit of extra hours of uninterrupted sleep while Rich enjoys alone time with the girls.
Dividing the labor extends to cooking, cleaning and laundry as well. We move in a fluid motion around each other when it comes to getting the girls ready to leave the house. Between the two of us, the diaper bag is packed, the girls are dressed and everyone and thing is loaded into the van without a word spoken.
I honestly don’t know how some mothers do it. (I know, I know. They do what they need to do.) I’ve read many complaints (and rightfully so) of husbands who barely lift a finger to help out. If there are two parents, shouldn’t there be TWO parents? I’ve been on both sides of the fence and staying at home with the kids is just as difficult as working full time.
So before you start to think that it’s a country club in our home, I’ll give you an insight into how much free time we’ve each had over the past two and a half years. I’ve had my hair cut five times. I’ve painted my fingernails twice. Rich has golfed four times. Yeah, so no days at the spa. No professional manicures or pedicures. Our number one free time activity is sleep and with all the activities and chores that we need to cram into each weekend, sleep is usually the only luxury we allow ourselves.
Today, I wanted to do some clothes shopping. Alone. I left shortly after the girls were finished eating their lunch. Rich cleaned up the lunch mess, put the girls down for their nap and was there to give them a snack and play with them after nap. Although he told me not to rush, I still checked the time. It’s a habit. Those few hours of alone time were much needed. Yes, I am lucky.
How is “labor” divided in your house? Do you feel that your husband, partner, or significant other does his/her fair share?
Sarah is the mother to 29 month old identical triplet girls – Allie, Anna and Emily – who were born at 35 weeks and 6 days. She works full time as a Tax Director for Big Financial Institution and enjoys sharpening her photography skills with her daughters’ help. You can read more about her crazy life raising triplets at The Great Umbrella Heist.