As women, I think we often get a bad case of the “Ifs” or “If onlys.” You know, like:
“If only my body looked like it did BEFORE I had my babies…”
“If only I could keep my house perfect…”
“If only I had time to work out… then I would (or ANY time for myself)!” etc, etc.
I think this kind of thinking can become such a toxin in our lives. Affecting our roles as mommies/daddies, our relationship with our spouse, or even relationship with friends.
And even though we LOVE LOVE LOVE our children/multiples with all our heart, at times as MoMs, don’t you find yourselves with the “Ifs/If onlys” in moments of overwhelming craziness? Or find yourselves wishing for the ‘next stage?’ For example:
“If I had a singleton, then I wouldn’t be trying to change one diaper while the other twin has crawled over to use her drum sticks on the diaper changing victim’s head. I wouldn’t have to veer another child off ALL while trying to keep the child I’m changing from rolling over before the new diaper is on…” (That doesn’t only happen to ME, does it?!)
“If only my girls could WALK- or at least one of them, then I wouldn’t have to go to the trouble of parking by the basket return (hoping there ARE baskets still in it) at the store, so I can put them in and we can go on our merry shopping way…”
“If only I had a singleton- wouldn’t things be easier? One bath at night, one baby to feed, one baby needing diaper changes, one baby crying when teething… sounds easier??… ;)”
I’m sure we’ve all found ourselves thinking these things- or something similar. BUT wouldn’t it be wonderful to change our “If onlys” to “What ifs”?! In moments when you’d like to pull your hair out- let’s face it- we all have them, or in moments of utter desperation for a second of peace and quiet or a NAP, change your “if onlys” to “what ifs!” Don’t let the toxin take over- turn it around- count your blessings!
What if we didn’t have multiples? I can’t help but think life would be a bit less exciting. What if my girls were walking already? I’d be even busier than I already am! What if my girls didn’t have each other? They wouldn’t be as laid back, able to entertain themselves so well, or have someone to giggle with ALL DAY long!
Let’s challenge each other in this midst of this difficult job of being a Mom of Multiples, to turn our frustrated “If onlys” into blessed “What ifs!”