What if we didn’t have multiples??

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Categories Mommy Issues

As women, I think we often get a bad case of the “Ifs” or “If onlys.” You know, like:

“If only my body looked like it did BEFORE I had my babies…”

or

“If only I could keep my house perfect…”

or

“If only I had time to work out… then I would (or ANY time for myself)!” etc, etc.

I think this kind of thinking can become such a toxin in our lives.  Affecting our roles as mommies/daddies, our relationship with our spouse, or even relationship with friends.

What if

And even though we LOVE LOVE LOVE our children/multiples with all our heart, at times as MoMs, don’t you find yourselves with the “Ifs/If onlys” in moments of overwhelming craziness?  Or find yourselves wishing for the ‘next stage?’ For example:

“If I had a singleton, then I wouldn’t be trying to change one diaper while the other twin has crawled over to use her drum sticks on the diaper changing victim’s head.  I wouldn’t have to veer another child off ALL while trying to keep the child I’m changing from rolling over before the new diaper is on…”     (That doesn’t only happen to ME, does it?!)

or

“If only my girls could WALK- or at least one of them, then I wouldn’t have to go to the trouble of parking by the basket return (hoping there ARE baskets still in it) at the store, so I can put them in and we can go on our merry shopping way…”

or

“If only I had a singleton- wouldn’t things be easier?  One bath at night, one baby to feed, one baby needing diaper changes, one baby crying when teething… sounds easier??… ;)”

I’m sure we’ve all found ourselves thinking these things- or something similar.  BUT wouldn’t it be wonderful to change our “If onlys” to “What ifs”?!  In moments when you’d like to pull your hair out- let’s face it- we all have them, or in moments of utter desperation for a second of peace and quiet or a NAP, change your “if onlys” to “what ifs!”  Don’t let the toxin take over- turn it around- count your blessings!

What if we didn’t have multiples?  I can’t help but think life would be a bit less exciting. :) What if my girls were walking already?  I’d be even busier than I already am!  What if my girls didn’t have each other?  They wouldn’t be as laid back, able to entertain themselves so well, or have someone to giggle with ALL DAY long!

Let’s challenge each other in this midst of this difficult job of being a Mom of Multiples, to turn our  frustrated “If onlys” into blessed “What ifs!”  :)

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8 thoughts on “What if we didn’t have multiples??”

  1. Good post! Even when your girls are walking, it’s still easier to park by the shopping cart return! :-) Walking into the store together sounds great in theory……until one or BOTH decide to throw a tantrum on the ground in the middle of the parking lot! ha

    Twins can be hard, but there are SO MANY fun things that go along with it! It gets even more fun when they start walking and talking!
    .-= Shelley´s last blog ..NYC Visitors! =-.

  2. I can’t imagine life without my girls. Yes it is challenging and exhausting, but it is rewarding and so much fun. Who else can have their own slumber party without inviting any other kids? Besides, I know many moms with singletons who face more challenges than I do.
    .-= Quadmama´s last blog ..Our Slumber Party =-.

  3. I would take another set of twins any day. I have had a singleton but now that my twins are almost 2 I think, wow it hasn’t been too bad. I am blessed with great sleepers though. I am not sure I would be saying the same thing if they were terrible sleepers.
    .-= Staci´s last blog ..Silent Sunday =-.

  4. My singleton came first (after 10 years of infertility), then my twins 15 months later. As much as I enjoyed those months alone with my singleton, I know that had I had the twins first we would not have had a second pregnancy … one of my three would not be here … and that would be unthinkable. But, being human, I do think that having just one would be easier.

    One theme that is always present on the majority of multiples sites is how hard we all think we have it … but doesn’t every parent have a hard job? The only exclusion in my mind is the parent who has only one child. But most have more than one … and most that I meet have more than two.

    All of us parents really have the most demanding job of all … shaping a human being … it’s an overwhelming responsibility at times and I think it makes us wish for different circumstances on occasion.

    Fortunately, we can come to sites like this, or MoM’s groups, to vent about our horrible day … or to get a reality check about how truly blessed we are to have our children.

  5. Great post. I find myself saying wouldn’t it be so much easier with just one more often than I’d like to admit sometimes. It is usually at the moment when I am so exhausted and frustrated that I feel I am going to start screaming like a crazy person and never stop. Then, my husband, who is the one I am always saying it to, says, yes, it would be easier, but who would you give back? Well neither, DUH, but at this moment…(insert name of twin making me insane at the moment). And we laugh, and reality sinks in and the moment is over. I have an older daughter too and I know that it isn’t always easier with one, but there definitely are more freedoms. But I wouldn’t change it for the world – I love our crazy life, even in the hard moments.

    With all that being said, no, you are definitely not alone with the diaper changing scenario. It is a free for all sometimes – you’d think I’d always put one in the playpen while changing the other, but it just doesn’t occur to me at the moment. Next thing you know, one is on the way up the stairs and I am tossing the other off the changing table to get the first all the while praying that the diaperless bandit doesn’t pee all over the floor.

  6. My “what if”…
    What if I ONLY had the twins…it would be so much easier. It’s my older singleton that’s the challenge because he can prefer something over another and tell me what he wants/needs. This twins have each other as a distraction. My oldest wants ME. (Not that I would trade him for the world.) It’s just my “what if.”

  7. When my twins were tiny, I forbade myself from fantasizing about having only one that I could lavish with attention. I was so envious of mothers who could so easily share the world with one portable baby. I began to dream about walking hand-in-hand-in-hand and now that my boys are two, we do have such fun adventures. At this age they really are perfect playmates, that fight, of course, but they have each other. And I live for those spontaneous twin hugs.

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