Retraction

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Categories Parenting

A month ago, I wrote about how having two year-old twins rocked.  My girls had just turned two at the time of this post.  Surprisingly enough, only one MoM, who had herself lived to see the other side of two, commented that I may want to reserve judgment on this issue.

For the love of all that is holy, would it have killed me to wait one month to write a post about raising two year-old twins?  I was most definitely still riding a sugar high from all the Elmo cupcakes and ice cream cake.  Folks, consider this a formal retraction of my prior post.

The past month has been hard – really hard.  Two has hit me like a ton of bricks and continues to seriously kick my ass.  At this point, I don’t even know if I can articulate exactly what it is that I find so challenging about this age.  If I had to answer this question after the weekend I have had, I would honestly say Every.Freaking.Thing.  Lack of self control (being told it’s time to clean up the Play Doh yields Exorcist-like tantrums), extreme lack of cooperation, failure to successfully transition from one activity to another (considered a fail for me if kicking and/or screaming occurs and if said transition takes longer than 25 minutes), mealtimes, bathtimes (specifically, washing of the hair), car rides, bedtimes (fielding repeated requests to put socks on stuffed animals and/or swaddle them like a burrito), and the list goes on…

Lately, I just feel like nothing is easy.  The only time there is any peace and quiet around here is when Sesame Street is on.  Since I limit their TV time to one episode per day, this amounts to about 60 minutes broken down into two, thirty-minute intervals.  Yes, some would consider me a Sadist.

There are, thankfully, a couple of fun aspects of two so far.  Language acquisition and usage is totally skyrocketing and phrases like, “I just love you so much” have been known to squeak out here and there.  I also love to watch the interaction between my girls.  Their relationship has hit a totally cool level now that they are better able to express themselves.

In summary, the village can stop looking for it’s idiot: you have found her.  I will never again make sweeping judgments about an entire year of toddlerhood when I am only a few measly days into it.  Aaaahhh… and some say three is when it really gets tough.

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19 thoughts on “Retraction”

  1. My twins are only 11 months old, so I can’t comment on how 2 year old twins are. (I do have a 3.5 year old also.

    But my grandma is a twin. When I told her that I was having twins, she said, “Mom loved having twins!” When I told my great aunt (her twin), she said, “Mom wouldn’t have wished having twins on anyone!” I just think of that every time I am having a bad day!

  2. Ah, Marcy. As someone who always seems to be jinxing myself with proclamations of how wonderful things are going followed by the most HORRIFIC backlashes ever, I feel your pain. No worries. They are learning that they no longer have control of their world. That you, the bigger person who tells them what to do, actually control there lives.

    Patience, consistency, and humor will get us all through the twos.

    After all, the threes are coming.

    And then, the fours and fives and sixes.

    Before you know it, they’ll be teenagers.

    I can only imagine. :)
    .-= Jennifer U´s last blog ..I will remember this day =-.

  3. I have heard from several friends with both boys and girls that the twos were harder than threes with girls…I’m not too excited about that since I have 2 1/2 year old twin boys. It’s going to get worse?!?
    .-= Joanna´s last blog ..Waiting for daddy =-.

  4. Oh, you sweet Mom. My girls have almost survived the age of 2 as we will be venturing into age 3 next month. I must say, age 2 was wonderful, but I found ‘the voice’ that I swore would never come out of my body—–my mother’s yell —comes out of me and still surprises me. I find myself in a heated argument with my girls—-for what?–who knows, it is just a power struggle that we all play an equal part in.

    I think the worst part, which I see will be on the forefront for many years to come, is the ever wonderful time-out. Just yesterday I felt I was being punished because one of my girls was having a moment and spent most of her morning in time out which resulted in all of us missing our trip tot he zoo. Wonderful times……..
    So, ‘try’ and keep your head and repeat to yourself this phrase, “they will only be 2 once”.

    Good luck!

  5. My girl twins are just 17 months, but I do have a 3 1/2 year old boy. I’ve gotta say, the 3’s have been more difficult with my oldest than the 2’s, but girls are different than boys–so who knows what my twins will be like when they hit 2. At 2 with my boy it was just communication issues and not being big enough to do stuff. Now he’s defiant on purpose. And big enough get into baby proofed areas. So, NO PLACE IS SAFE. A couple who had 2 1/2 year old twins told me it gets easier, and I had stop myself from saying–wait until they’re three! Myself, I’m holding out for 4 yrs old. Maybe it gets easier then. Oh, wait. I’m pregnant. Okay, so it’s not going to be easier for a LONG time! hahahaha!

  6. Oh, yeah. And my sister who has 6 kids ranging from 18 to 5 likes to remind me: Little kids, Little problems, Big Kids, Big problems. Can’t wait until they’re teens!

  7. It’s all about perception. I really disliked all the baby stuff … the breastfeeding, bottles, diapers, bibs, etc,etc. So, now that they are 4, 3, & 3 most of that is behind us.

    The challenges are really different … but for me easier. At 3 they are able to better understand why something is a “no”. At 2, they are still learning that. When mine were two I really felt bad for their situation … not having any control in your world has got to be frustrating … so I set out to give them control over as much as I could. Do you want the blue cup or the yellow? The train shirt or the dog shirt? Clean up now or after we read a book? etc. The five minute warning didn’t work for me like it does for some people so I revised it … when my kids are doing an activity they are not ready to leave I say we have to go and wait for their reaction … they want to stay so we negotiate a time that works for both of us … usually it’s 5 minutes :) They think they came up with it and (usually) come away without complaint.

    For me, butting heads with two year olds at every turn was exhausting and I had to find a different coping strategy … I just couldn’t take the tantrums and crying. This worked for us and seemed to cut down on the negative stuff … When it doesn’t work and a tantrum ensues, I tell them to come and get me when they are done crying and I turn my back to them and walk away …

    Hang in there … I promise it gets better … 3’s are really fun and 4 is wonderful.

  8. I loved that you posted this, mine just turned 2 in October and I did the SAME exact thing by saying it was easy! Then it was like a switch that turned on, especially with the tantrums and the constant no’s. I too cannot do the tantrums so Im on a mission this week to find a good system that is going to work for us because I fear if I don’t nip it in the butt now, it just might get worse!

  9. Ha! This post was hilarious! Parenting is an extreme ride, which is why I am eternally grateful to Eli Lilly for developing Cymbalta. 😉

    The Ames & Ilg parenting books that are age-specific are helpful to me. They talk about kids going through periods of equilibrium and disequilibrium, and I have absolutely found that my kids will spend about half of any given year testing my sanity, and the other half they’ll be SO SWEET! For my oldest, no joke, it’s like someone flips a switch each year on her birthday. The change was especially extreme on her 2nd, 3rd and 4th birthdays. Maybe your last post wasn’t premature, it was just a reflection of *that* part of age 2! They’ll get back to that part in a few months.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..flashforward =-.

  10. My twins are 19 months and my oldest just turned 3. I am so AFRAID of the twins hitting their 2s. 2 was horrible. 2 x 2 seriously frightens me. Wondering now how I will survive…
    .-= Tina´s last blog ..Ponona =-.

  11. OMG! Mine will be 3 in about a month and a half and I can already tell that 3 is going to be much harder than 2. It’s a different kind of tough though. They have a mind of their own and have learned to use it somewhat. And they want to be so much more independent now.

    But I really do remember thinking I would never survive the 2’s when mine were 2.5. And I have survived…almost! If there is one piece of advice I can give to any mom of a 2 year old is learn how to transition now. Give plenty of warning. Mine do not transition well and this started shortly after they turned 2. At one point I even pulled out the timer so they had something to actually go by. As long as I give warnings now, like “in 5 minutes we are going to go back inside,” we are good to go. But if I try to transition too quickly we have massive melt down. Not pretty.
    .-= Lee Anne´s last blog ..Sick kiddos =-.

  12. I have b/g twins who are 3.5 (4 on tax day). I stay at home with them. It has been one heck of a ride. But it’s gone by say fast my head is still spinning. One thing I had to remind myself was to slow down. You don’t have to be doing something every single minute. Devote your time to them. I stay at home alot of the days. Alot of days we go to the park. Boy do they like to run free. Get out in the yard and let those kids wear themselves out. Seriously.
    Three is much harder than 2. No one ever tells you the truth!
    Hang in there!!!
    -Shannon in Austin

  13. Oh no. This wasn’t very hopeful :-( We are a few months away yet, but I can see how things could get exponentially harder. Bummer cuz “everyone” told me that “around two twins get ‘easier’.” Ha! We’re all in this together, right?

  14. Time for sticker charts!!

    I do still love two—and mine turned 2 in early April, so we’ve been at it a while. So much better than 0-12 months and much, much better than the (non-verbal) 14-18 month scream-fest. Each kid is different and I think as parents we are better (or less better) able to cope with certain challenges.

  15. My boys will be 3 in February and I know as kids go, I shouldn’t complain. They are good boys, but at 2 1/2, they are a challenge and wear me out everyday with arguments and tantrums. I try to give them choices, but they seem to be calling most of the shots these days. When I draw the line, it usually ends up with me yelling at them to stop yelling. Oops. And then I catch myself. And then they find something else to do.
    On the other hand, their little minds are so creative! They act out scenes from books and movies, make up little games and make jokes that crack each other up.
    I like two the best, I really love them more everyday. Even on the bad days.

  16. OMG, i love this post! i was on email venting about my kiddos to a friend and she told me to check this post out. I LOVE IT
    I have almost 2 year old quadruplets and i am pretty sure that some time,someone replaced my wonderful sweet kids with robots that look just like them, yet are programed to whine, cry, fight and just simply drive me crazy.
    .-= Casey Gerwer´s last blog ..Busy…you got that right!! =-.

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