It’s been happening for a while now. And it’s a little irritating. Tiny will say, “Like Buba” and that’s my warning that somehow she’s notice an inequality. Suddenly she’s keeping score, and she wants everything to be even between the two of them. If Buba gets his lunch on a blue plate, Tiny needs her lunch on a blue plate. If I’ve cut up his toast into smaller pieces, she’ll want the same. But it’s not just about things. If I give Buba a little tickle when I put him in his crib for nap time, Tiny will get very upset if I don’t do the exact same thing for her. Meanwhile, Buba could care less if his straw is a different color than Tiny’s, or if I kiss her on the forehead and him on the cheek.
Perhaps it’s not that big of a deal. Perhaps this is a phase, and not a battle I need to have. But I really want Tiny to understand that things don’t have to be exactly the same for them. That there are times when their needs may be different and times when I’ll want to have individual special moments with each of them.
Is/has anyone else dealt with this sort of situation? Is this desire to keep things equal a multiples thing or do singleton siblings go through this as well (asks the one who grew up as an only child)?