My Child, The Starfish

So the twins are almost 27 months now and we’ve been in a phase of NoMommyIDoItMyself for several months now. That, we’ve got down. It’s the new-within-the-last six weeks Starfish Syndrome that is new for us.

Our most independent, most spirited twin has taken to wanting ME to do EVERYTHING when an adult is needed. Except that I work full-time. And well, having another child who wants me sometimes, too.

For ever and ever, my partner and I have alternated children for bedtime routine (they sleep in separate rooms). But now Clingy Clingerton wants me every.single.night. To the extent that Clingy will cry and scream as if being mauled. Culminating with vomit that requires sheet and pajama changes. Smart kid, eh?

My partner’s feelings are hurt.

Clingy’s twin says “it’s my turn now, Mommy”.

It used to be that we could read a book or two, say prayers, kiss Clingy on the forehead goodnight, and walk out. Now, it’s all “I lay by you, Mommy”, through tears if you so much as lift your head off the pillow. And don’t even think about leaving the bed before Clingerton is fast asleep. And so what, right? It’s maybe 10-20 minutes next to a miracle and it feels safe to the kiddo and I’m not in a rush to go cook dinner.

But still.

I’m told that it’s just a phase and to enjoy being “needed” because soon enough they’ll not want me at all. Maybe. But it sure makes getting anything else done difficult. And my other kid sure is missing Mommy time.

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Rachel re-invents the rearing-a-toddler wheel over at Motherhood.Squared .

8 thoughts on “My Child, The Starfish

  1. Ohhhh…that is about the same time we started dealing with Miss Clingy as well during bedtime routine. It was around the 1st of the year (so 27-28 months old) that she started the “rock me” stage. I have never rocked my kids to sleep so this was weird. She just needs 5 mins TOPS and so we have kind of obliged against my better judgment. Recently it has been “rub my head” AFTER the “rock me.” The hysterical part is that when she is feeling like Miss Independant then I have to rock in the regualr rocking chair while she rocks herself in the kiddie rocking chair. LOL!

  2. My boys both want Daddy ALL.THE.TIME.
    It’s kinda awesome. If they get hurt, need a diaper change, want a book read, anything, then it’s “No, mama! Daddy do it” and so he does and I lay around reading magazines and drinking iced tea. :) And when he’s at work and I’m home with them, I just say “Daddy’s at work” and they’re fine with me doing things for them…

  3. My daughters insist that I dry them both off after bath time. They almost get into a battle about who gets out of the bath first. I think hubby has also been offended a little bit by this, but we realize it is just a phase.

  4. My little two are 24 months and their older sis is 6 y/o. All 3 are ALL ABOUT MOMMY. My husband is home with them all day long and they will be having a perfectly wonderful day until I walk in the door and all 3 girls fall apart. DH used to be hurt, offended, slighted, etc. when it was the first child because he was the main caregiver but now that there are 3 kids he is relieved, I think. We were laughing about it this week – not only do I get the mommy card but I have the working parent card too. He’s come to the understanding that it isn’t personal. But it does have it’s rough moments where it hurts a bit. Then again, it has it’s good moments too – like when it’s been a teary day and he just needs a break and mommy comes home and he can run away and get some peace for a bit.

  5. My twins have moments like this, but it’s not abolute. My older son will only let mommy put him to bed. Though, I think it has more to do with mommy being more indugent in story time than daddy. :)

  6. One of my girls just started this too at 27 months, although not to the vomiting stage. It’s hard, but I also have a 4 month old to tend to, so sometimes Daddy has to do bath and bed without me, and I can hear her crying “Mommmmmmyyyyyyy!!!” over the monitor. But I can’t always come to her rescue, and they need to let their dad do stuff with them too. We also started spending more alone time with each twin, just short little errands that we have to do on the weekends. We don’t want to take the whole fam, but we don’t want to leave the other with all 3 kids. :)

  7. my girls have decided to split up who gets who. Z has told me several times that C is for me and she is for Daddy. I have to make an effort to get Z to spend time with just me. I’m not entirely sure if that’s b/c she prefers daddy or if it’s that C is always touching me. literally. all. the. time.

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