Sliding into ‘First’

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Categories Development, Infants

We are coming close to what seems in our world a whole big deal. The twins first birthday. My little babies are turning into toddlers in less than two weeks time. How did this happen!  I’ve been asked lately what words of wisdom I would give to someone else in this position.

Only one sentence: Take what works and leave the rest.

I was told so many terrifying things all of which were total rubbish. I read about 50 books and articles (I’m a researcher by trade) and I analyzed original data. I was terrified by the time I gave birth! It all turned out to be total hooey!!

Predictions from books and medical papers:

  • Old first time mum will mean horrible pregnancy with lots of problems – high blood pressure, baby problems, early birth.
  • Early babies and lots of NICU time
  • Lots of problems post birth – trips to the ER and doctors/specialist at every turn
  • Small babies that would develop late
  • Sleep problems for everyone
  • Childcare that will be crap at best

Reality:

  • Really great pregnancy and would do it again in a heart beat if I wasn’t so darn old.
  • Full term babies and no NICU time
  • No ER visits, ear aches, siezures or problems of any kind. A cold now and then. Teething. Big deal.
  • Both kids hitting developmental milestones (although I am really skeptical of the milestones) basically on cue.
  • Sleeping through the night by 3 months and napping has never been problem
  • I sleep better now than I did before the kids.
  • Amazing, awesome and loving nanny

I stopped asking for assvice about three months into motherhood realizing the fear I felt was normal, the stress we were under was transient and the love we all felt for each other was only going to grow more and more each day.  Experts have to sell books. I get it. But really – can we tone down the fear mongering and offer just a tad of wholesome ego boosting??

To all families hitting #1 – CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU DID IT!

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9 thoughts on “Sliding into ‘First’”

  1. I agree completely. Although things can go wrong, they often don’t! It turns out my boys had twin to twin transfusion but it was late term and they are healthy despite what could have happened. They were full term, weighed over 15 pounds combined and they just turned a year last month. They are both walking, climbing and weigh nearly 30 pounds each. I think it is important to know what “could” happen but also important to remember that everything can work out great. I suppose it is like anything in life!
    Happy Birthday to your twins.

  2. Pretty amazing isn’t it? So many people marvel “I don’t know how you do it!” You just do, and it’s never as bad as others really think.
    Except for the sleep thing, I think I hate you a little in my sleep deprived brain. My 14 month old boys haven’t quite figured that part out yet.
    Sarah recently posted Pottery LifeMy Profile

  3. I’m glad everything went well for you. I agree that every pregnancy is different, just as every experience in thos early months after they are born is different.

    In my group of Twin Moms who were due in the same birth month, we had a range of experiences. One went into labor and delivered her boys at 27 weeks. Another went into labor at 30. Both sets of boys spent months in the hospital. I, personally, spent 12 weeks in the antipartum unit and my babies were born just shy of 36 weeks. We have other moms who made it to 37 weeks and did not have NICU stays.

    I know that a lot of the information out there makes people fearful. Maybe it is the delivery of the information. However, I was glad that I at least had information all along about what could happen. It made that first visit from the NICU doctors less scary when I was in the hospital.

  4. Welcome Eb and congratulations. I agree it was difficult to balance everything I read about things that could wrong with my fairly normal pregnancy and delivery. I think it is important to share those positive experiences on sites like this so that when women pregnant with multiples go looking for information, they see that there are different experiences, and they aren’t all bad.

  5. Congrats to you Eb for making it through the first year! I too read all the books and internet research. I worried at every turn up until I went into preterm labor at 31 weeks and was put on bedrest in the hospital. In the first few days I was in the hospital I got to meet with the NICU staff. That was the best thing for me. They clearly explained what they would be looking for from the babies for each week that I could have gone into labor (i.e. at 31 weeks we look for this, at 32 weeks we look for this). They also explained what they would do to treat each issue at each stage. So while there was some definite concern going into labor that early in the pregnancy, I knew the staff would be able to handle whatever happened. Bedrest apparently worked because I made it to 36 weeks and neither of my kids had to go to the NICU. A lot of worrying for nothing.

    As far as what makes my house run, we divide and conquer. Two parents, two kids. One kid just ends up whining a little more because they don’t get mommy.

  6. Thanks for that post. You sound like you have things under control, and for sure, things happen and you deal with them!
    I had the bed-rest , premature delivery, NICU time, and at 21 months the toddlers are
    still not sleeping through the night.

    The first book I bought and read when I got pregnant was “Fearless Pregnancy,” and is the one I still lend to friends who get pregnant. I don’t want them to base their expectations on what they saw with me.

    Enjoy your sleep!

  7. That’s great everything has gone so well! Hope the smooth sailing continues! :)

    Our twins have made us a “specialist at every turn” family and at times it is a wee bit exhausting.
    Christine recently posted This Is LoveMy Profile

  8. I enjoyed your post. Congrats & happy birthday to your twins! As a mommy to a preschooler and one year old twins who still works full time, I can not say my first year went as easily as yours. We did have bedrest, ER visits, hospital stays, recurring ear infections, ear tube surgery, a new job for both my husband and me, etc….. Ugh, exhausting just thinking about it all! What I can say that I really am blessed to be a mom to twins but happy the first year is behind us!

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