We are coming close to what seems in our world a whole big deal. The twins first birthday. My little babies are turning into toddlers in less than two weeks time. How did this happen! I’ve been asked lately what words of wisdom I would give to someone else in this position.
Only one sentence: Take what works and leave the rest.
I was told so many terrifying things all of which were total rubbish. I read about 50 books and articles (I’m a researcher by trade) and I analyzed original data. I was terrified by the time I gave birth! It all turned out to be total hooey!!
Predictions from books and medical papers:
- Old first time mum will mean horrible pregnancy with lots of problems – high blood pressure, baby problems, early birth.
- Early babies and lots of NICU time
- Lots of problems post birth – trips to the ER and doctors/specialist at every turn
- Small babies that would develop late
- Sleep problems for everyone
- Childcare that will be crap at best
- Really great pregnancy and would do it again in a heart beat if I wasn’t so darn old.
- Full term babies and no NICU time
- No ER visits, ear aches, siezures or problems of any kind. A cold now and then. Teething. Big deal.
- Both kids hitting developmental milestones (although I am really skeptical of the milestones) basically on cue.
- Sleeping through the night by 3 months and napping has never been problem
- I sleep better now than I did before the kids.
- Amazing, awesome and loving nanny
I stopped asking for assvice about three months into motherhood realizing the fear I felt was normal, the stress we were under was transient and the love we all felt for each other was only going to grow more and more each day. Experts have to sell books. I get it. But really – can we tone down the fear mongering and offer just a tad of wholesome ego boosting??
To all families hitting #1 – CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU DID IT!