In those first few crazy, housebound, sleep deprived months after we brought home our twin boys, what saved me was knowing I was not alone. I love reading blogs about fellow multiple mamas and have learned a lot from the HDYDI community. Fast forward 17 months, and the challenges have changed just when I was getting the hang of life with babies. My name is B., and I’m excited to have the opportunity to guest post here. You can read more about life with my boys at http://littlegrovers.blogspot.com/.
When you have multiples, you become a mini celebrity. As soon as people spot the double (or more) stroller, they want to see the babies and ask a few questions. Now who doesn’t want to show their babies off? Ummm, sometimes I don’t feel like stopping to talk. Chalk it up to chronic sleep deprivation and feeling like I’m always on a clock counting down the minutes of happy toddler time to hungry/tired/grumpy toddler time.
Everybody says the exact. same. thing.
“A girl and a boy?”
Actually two boys. Dressed in all navy, green and generally masculine colours.
“Oh they look EXACTLY the same!”
Well, they are brothers so there are some similarities, but they are fraternal. Blankstare. They are not identical twins.
“Did you have fertility treatment? That IVF stuff?”
No. Actually I did but I don’t discuss personal stuff with total strangers. Unless it’s on my blog.
“You’ve got your hands full” OR “Double trouble!”
OK. See ya.
Now up til now, these conversations are a minor annoyance at worst and at best I can appreciate a friendly chat with neighbours. But now that my toddlers are comprehending more I’m concerned about what they’re learning from all this. Are they thinking: “Do I look the same as my brother? Do I look like a girl? Am I a lot of trouble for my mommy?” Do I need to clarify these things for them? I don’t want to argue with a stranger about whether my boys look alike, but I want my boys to know that they are both their own little people. And they look like little boys. And though they can be trouble, I consider myself very blessed.
There’s a lady in my neighbourhood with quadruplets and one older child. I pulled my stroller over to let her pass with her enormous stroller on the sidewalk and heard myself say;
“You’ve got your hands full”.
I couldn’t believe those words came out of my mouth when I hear it multiple times a day and hate it! Sheesh. I still cringe thinking about it.
How do you respond to strangers comments about your multiples? When they ask if you had fertility treatment? When they comment on your kids gender incorrectly? Or insist that they look the same when they don’t?