This September, my 14-month old twin daughters will start daycare. Up until this point, they have been at home with me and/or my husband, or with extended family. I was recently asked back to my previous company and was faced with the big decision of whether or not to “leave” the girls. I tried working full-time when the twins were 6-months old and it ended up being too hectic for us. Though the girls were at home with family, I couldn’t stand leaving before they woke and returning just before they went to bed. After trying to suck it up for a few months, we decided it was best if I stayed home. I loved my time home with the girls but also realize the effects it could have on my career if I was out of the job market for a long period of time. Granted, having twins is a good “excuse” for being out of work but, it’s a tough market out there!
I have worked it out with my employer that I will work one to two days a week from home. The girls will go to daycare just two days a week and my husband can watch them the extra day as he is a Firefighter and his schedule is quirky. We are very lucky in that we will only send them to daycare two days and I will be home two days. Honestly, I don’t think we could afford more than two days a week for each of them. Daycare costs are outrageous!
I have brought them to visit the daycare about three times in the past two weeks so they can adjust to going in and out of the building and so they recognize their teacher and the environment. Each time, the girls immediately leave my side and run (waddle, new walkers!) in to explore and check out the other kids. The first two times they didn’t even look to see if I was there and they cried when I made them leave. Obviously, we have no problem with socialization here. Is it awful that I wish they needed me more??
The third time my husband and I both brought them in and we left the room to work on paperwork. I could see them through the glass and they were playing very well. The instant we went back in to get them, “A” came to me crying and whining and clinging to my legs. Now I know this was all an act but I can’t help but feel guilty! I could see that it had just registered in her clever little brain that she was LEFT THERE! Her little sister (by 1 minute) was oblivious and again threw a fit when we made her leave the other children.
I have already returned to work and the girls are doing great at home with Daddy. They are napping and eating well and greet me with hugs and kisses. Though it seems they adjust well, I have this weight on my shoulders that is growing heavier as next week comes closer. I am dreading dropping them off. Perhaps this is harder on me than it is on them. I am taking solace in the fact that they will have each other; they can look around the room and see a familiar face in their sister.
Parents – how do you deal with the anxiety of dropping your children at daycare/school for the first time?