Singled Out: Life as a Red head and Twin Mom

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When I was a child, old ladies would often come up and ask me, “Where did you get your red hair?” Too young to fully understand the complex system of genetics, I went with what I knew. “My uncle!” I would proudly reply, since he was the only redhead in the family that I knew of. So to prevent any unwelcomed invitations to appear on the next episode of Sally Jesse Raphael (Yeah, I’m a product of the 80’s), my mother taught me how to say recessive gene, because neither of my parents were blessed with ginger locks.

Talk to any red head and they will tell you that it is both a blessing and a curse. People will notice if you have red hair and they have some pretty strong opinions. I remember being called Big Red on the bus in middle school, I hated it. There have been times where all I wanted to do was be a wall flower in unfamiliar places, like our trip to Cuba, where men would call out at me on the street. However, over time I have learned to embrace my copper top because it has uniquely shaped my whole life.

I feel like my experience as a red head has been preparing me for the public life as a mother of multiples, beginning with these questions:

“Does red hair run in your family?”

“Is it natural?”

“Better you than me”

“I wish I had red hair….”

“My cousins’ third wife had red hair”

Substitute twins for red hair and you may get a sudden feeling of déjà vu. Both twins and red hair are very rare. Around 2% of the population has red hair. Around 2% of the population are twins. Let’s face it, people are fascinated with things they don’t see all the time and they feel compelled to comment.

I know we all want to get in and out with our multiples without drawing undue attention, especially when they are about to spontaneously self-destruct within five minutes of entering the building, but we need to remember what a blessing we have. Mothers of twins, triplets, quads+ have the unique opportunity of getting to hear a choir of baby giggles and coos on a peaceful morning.

When I am stressed out and I have had a rough day with the babies, that is exactly when I want to go out because I am reminded that I am doing what strangers don’t hesitate to tell me they don’t know how I do. I am loving every minute with my two little genetic rarities, hair color TBD.

What unique experiences have helped to prepare you for being a mother of multiples?

Jamie is a redheaded mother of three lively boys, big brother age 2 and identical twins age 6 months. Check out Jamie’s blog and podcast, The Playdate Crashers

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7 thoughts on “Singled Out: Life as a Red head and Twin Mom”

  1. Mollie, I’ll bet you get all the comments then! :) Our boys look like they might be red, but it’s still to soon to tell.

  2. I have always tried to show patience with inquisitive strangers as I know they’re just trying to be friendly. I’d rather live in a world where people take interest than in one where no one smiles or gives you eye contact. As parents of twins, it just comes with the territory.

  3. I am also a red headed twin mom! Although, my auburn hair gets darker with each year to where, indoors, you hardly see the red at all.

    As a kid, I did get teased a bit (my least favorite nickname was Nikki Red) and to this day, my father will still point out red objects to me and ask me what color they are.

    Perhaps this was good practice for twins because strangers comments never bother me much. After having a lengthy argument with a hairdresser in Spain (where they have NO red heads, it would seem) that my hair color was indeed natural, the twin questions don’t seem as dumb.

  4. We have the double whammy – redheaded twin boys! Haha! Now that they are getting older (turning 2 this week) the twin comments have been taken over by the “Wow! Look at that red hair!,” comments. Love your persepctive in the last paragraph. So true. Sometimes the comments are a curse, but more times than not, they are a blessing and reminder that moms of multiples rock!!

  5. What a great post. It reminds me that everyone has their own unique characteristics, and maybe they don’t want to talk about them anymore than I want to talk about twins, when I’m in a hurry.

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