I was asked if I could talk to a mom who is expecting twins by a teacher at our preschool drop in. Long story short, the expectant mom is a neighbour who I see almost daily walking her two kids to school though we have never got beyond a nod and a “hello, how are you?” before. She is usually walking by while I’m wrestling my toddlers into their stroller and yelling at the dog to just “BE QUIET ALREADY!” (It’s been surprisingly difficult to tone down my language and drop the “shut ups” now that we have kids but that’s another post. I never say “shut up” to people, just my dog. He’s very yappy. Anyway.)
So we finally had a “quiet” moment to talk while all our kids were busy playing or at school. My new friend already has two kids, one in school and one still home. She appears to me to be overwhelmed by the surprise of two babies on the way and I feel real sympathy for what is ahead of her in the next year.
When I had my twins almost 19 months ago, they were my first and I was lucky enough to be able to stay home on (almost) bed rest for two months before they arrived. I could just nap and eat. And once they were here, it was challenging to say the least, but I had no other little ones to care for.
What did I need to hear when I was pregnant with two? That it would be OK. That it would be hard, but that we would get through it.
My friends with kids warned me that “You’ll never sleep again! Ha! Ha!” The sleep deprivation was no joke.
That breastfeeding can be very challenging for some and that most likely you will need to supplement with formula until your milk comes in and you get yourself some rest. That there are ways to boost your milk supply with diet, herbs, pumping, and/or medication. See a lactation consultant before you even leave the hospital if need be. Oh, and pumping sucks. You just gotta do it.
That if you can afford it (and I couldn’t) get yourself a night nanny so that you can take care of your babies with a clear head. That they will stop crying.
And don’t do it by yourself. When people offer to help, take it. When people want to visit the babies, ask them to bring food. Do the dishes, wash the bottles, walk the dog, fold the laundry, take the babies for a walk in the stroller. You don’t need to do it all yourself. People want to help you, they just need you to tell them how.
We are in year two now, and though it has it’s own challenges, life is so much easier than in those early days with two newborns.
It does get better. And you can do it. And it’s so worth it.
What do you wish someone told you when you were pregnant with multiples?
You can catch up with me and my toddler twin boys at http://littlegrovers.blogspot.com/