Well, we made it. We are half-way through the preschool year with my boys in separate classrooms. Remember how nervous I was in the beginning? (If not, you can read my earlier post here.) And those of you who have been through this experience and shared your words of wisdom were so kind with your reassurances–thank you!
My boys have just blossomed in separate classrooms. My more reserved boy has gained new self-confidence and new friends. He was the one I was most worried about academically and felt he needed extra help in in all the kindergarten social and academic skills. I knew my more outgoing boy would be fine. He went into school knowing his numbers, letters, and most letter sounds. He know benefits from having his own set of friends and space from his sibling. Although the boys share playground times several days a week, they more often than not choose to play independently with their own classmates.
When they return home they are happy enough to be together for some moments of mommy bliss–peaceful play and cooperation–before the sibling rivalry starts. They are meanest to each other and love one another deeply. I am amazed at how strong their relationship is to withstand the fighting and hurt feelings to always come back to love.
There have been some sticky situations–sometimes one boy is asked on a playdate and I can not find the other boy a playdate at the same time. We have had a couple of cases where only one boy was asked to a class birthday party and the other was not. Although tough on the afternoon of the party, this is a good learning experience for the upcoming kindergarten year. Special mommy dates help ease these growing pains.
So really, it was mostly my issues with separation (my babies!) than their issues. Separating them during the 4s year of preschool, at their loving cooperative nursery school was the right choice for our family. Yes, they had to hug each other goodbye at the beginning, but now they run off to class with barely a concern for what the other brother is doing. I even have asked for them to be apart in extracurricular activities, when we can. I am so excited that separate classes worked for my twins and hope that we can continue this success for kindergarten in the fall.
Leslie H. is a freelance writer and mom to a spunky eight-year-old girl and two very independent four-year-old boys.