My husband and I had twins first. And while we have generally thought of the many benefits of having twins first, there are definitely some disadvantages. And those disadvantages are ever more clear as we have welcomed a new, singleton, baby into our home.
This past weekend, I ran (okay, jogged) a 5k race, my very first race. And it was at two months postpartum. I looked at an old blog post I had written when my twin daughters were two months old, and there is no way I was going to be running for over three miles at that point in my new motherhood career. And reading that post made me realize just how different my postpartum experiences have been.
With the girls, I was recovering from major surgery for six + weeks. I was also thrown into motherhood head-first. I didn’t know how to breastfeed. I didn’t know how to change diapers well, or how to properly treat stains, or what things you really needed, and a host of other tricks of the “trade” that you learn as you mother for a while.
But, the big difference, is that with the girls, for the first several weeks, I didn’t enjoy motherhood. I loved my girls, but I didn’t necessarily always feel it, not when I felt more like a milk cow than a mother, not when I was so dog tired, not when my kids didn’t smile or laugh yet. It was a big adjustment to say the least.
On top of all the new motherhood things I had to learn and doubly, I was also going through other big transitions, like going from a full-time student, literally the day before giving birth, to being a stay-at-home mom. And then moving across the country, from Utah to Indiana, when my twins were only six weeks old. And then not knowing anyone other my in-laws who we were living with there. It was a crazy time. The first year with twins is a general blur when I try to look back at that time. I really was in survival mode.
So, now that I have a newborn singleton, and am no longer a first-time mother, things are much different at two months out. First, I didn’t have a repeat C-section and I felt better physically so much faster after giving birth. And I loved being a mother immediately to my son. He’s just as cute and precious as my girls were, but I think having just one baby to give my undivided attention to has made my love more ready to feel and give. He has made me extremely happy already!
And having him has made me feel so extremely blessed for the family I have. I appreciate and love my twins and my husband more. I am a lucky woman!
Shortly after I had my twins, my sister-in-law who also has a set of twins, told me that she hoped that someday I would be able to have a single child because it’s so nice to just dote on one child.
And I’m glad that I have. Twins are a unique blessing and I absolutely love having them, but a single baby after twins has been a special treat for so many other reasons.
If you had twins first, did you enjoy having a single baby afterwards? And if you had twins after single babies, was it much harder than the single ones?
ldskatelyn is a loving wife and mother. She has fraternal twin girl three-year olds, and a two-month-old baby boy. She is glad she and her husband made the decision to add the newest addition, as she enjoys the new dynamic in her home. Follow her at her blog – What’s up Fagans?