Separate Schools, Two Weeks In

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Categories Classroom Placement, Individuality, Mommy Issues, Preschoolers, Same Gender, School

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Two weeks ago I posted about separating my twin boys for preschool, into two different schools. We are in the second week and still adjusting, but here’s a little update on how its going so far.

Both boys started on the same day, even though their schedules overlap only one day a week. We moved around my husband’s work schedule so that day he goes in much later than he used to, since we effectively have to be in two places at once. We stood on the porch and did first day of school photos, obligatory backpack shots, and lots of hugs. Even though only one kid got on the bus, the whole family waited outside for the bus, and his brother insisted on wearing his backpack too. Our little guy got on the bus that first day without a tear. Mommy, however, was not as tough. Yup, I cried. Not as much as I expected, and not as much as I had been in the months before this big day.

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Other kid’s private preschool has a very, very gradual, drawn out intro to preschool, in stark contrast to the school district’s put-them-on-a-bus-and-see-them-later approach. They have a two week orientation period which I suppose some kids probably benefit from, but our kid is ready to get going already. They only go for 1 hour, and instead of drop off, the first day was with the parent the whole time, the subsequent days the parents drop off in the room and get them into their routine before leaving. This Mommy is ready to just drop the kid at the curb, kisses and hugs and on your way, kiddo. The kid wants to know when they get to play at the playground (since they are only there one hour there’s no playground time.) Looking forward to starting for real next week. (and yes, I am one of those rip-the-bandaid off fast people.)

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Here’s a brief rundown of things the past two weeks.

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Kid 1:

  • Got kid onto bus, less than 1 hour later the bus company called (Mommy panic!) but only to tell me to expect him home a full 30 minutes before the original time they told me. Good thing we changed around Daddy’s work schedule.
  • Got a call from the social worker at the school even before he was home the first day telling me that “He was a little sad” when they put him on the bus, which I think is social worker speak for “Flipped his $#&!” when it was time to leave school. Which I guess is good he was having fun.
  • He had an ID tag on his backpack for the bus driver with contact info, but both our home address and phone number wrong. He got home safely anyway. If you ask where he lives he will tell you, “At our house!”
  • Day 2 on the bus and school day was without incident from the kid, but waving at the bus with the other kid, a nosy neighbor walked by adding, “But aren’t they twins? That one must have something wrong with him if he’s taking that bus to school.” IN FRONT OF THE OTHER KID. Gee, thanks.
  • Monday morning the bus driver was 20 minutes late, stopped way past the house, nearly to the neighbors yard and upset the poor kid so much thinking he was forgotten he cried getting on the bus and could be heard screaming as they drove away.
  • By Thursday the second week the novelty has worn off and he no longer has any interest in going to school or riding the bus. It was a major issue getting him to put on clothing and get outside for the bus. Thankful he gets Fridays off so we can not have that discussion for a few more days.

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Kid 2:

  • Went to the first day of school and had a total meltdown when the teacher told him the playtime was done and it was time to read a book. This was the first of many over-sensitive, emotional, sobbing outbursts we’ve seen since the first day of school from the typically laid-back, easy going kid.
  • Teachers told us he’s holding his own but it is obvious he misses his brother quite a lot, he talks about him constantly
  • He runs up to the bus when it arrives back home and has even run up the steps to hug his brother. It’s incredibly sweet.
  • By the 3rd day his brother was at school, he was so volatile and sensitive that I asked him to clean up his Potato Head toys and he sobbed, “But I didn’t get to give brother a hug AND a kiss before he left!”
  • He started a weekly story time session at the library, an extra activity he gets to do alone, since he doesn’t have school as often as his brother. The teacher said he did great and was one of the top participants in the activities and a great listener.
  • He told us he did not want to go to school this week because he wanted to be home for when brother’s bus came back.
  • After the bus nearly missed the house, he put on a Batman outfit because he thought meeting his brother in a Batman suit would cheer him up. (It did.)
  • His teacher at school said he was playing well with the other kids and was much happier than the previous day.

All in all, it hasn’t been bad, but it’s definitely been a transition. We have upped the frequency of random and seemingly senseless meltdowns. It’s heartbreaking to see how sad they are apart, even though they seem to both be enjoying school. They don’t yet “get’ the days of the week so it is confusing them who has school which day, and their behavior definitely shows they are hurting. With time we will all adjust to the new normal, but these first few weeks are pretty emotional.

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4 thoughts on “Separate Schools, Two Weeks In”

  1. I’m all about ripping the bandaid off when it comes to starting school. That transition scheduled sounds brutal, mostly because it’s changing so frequently that the kids don’t get any sense of consistency. (You know how I feel about consistency.)

    Yay that they like school, but the way my chest feels thinking about them being apart, I can’t even start imagining how you feel!

    1. Yeah the worst part of the super gradual intro is that they split the class into two and only 5-6 kids come at a time for only 1 hour. Twin playmates my kids have known since they were born and play with almost weekly are in the same class but due to their position in the alphabet they are in the “other” half. I think he would be much more at ease if there were familiar faces there. Next week, finally, the whole class gets to be together so he can be with his friends.

  2. “But I didn’t get to give brother a hug AND a kiss before he left!” Oh my God, I started welling up at this quote! The love they have for each other is overwhelming to me. My 10 mo. old boys are just starting to show their affection for each other. I hope in the coming weeks your boys can form an “after-school” routine where they can really enjoy the time that they do have together.

  3. Wow. You have so much going on all of the sudden! I am thankful for the detailed update, as I’ve been wondering how your little guys are doing. I’ll only offer one bit of input, that I think the start of school (even a new grade) is emotional for most kids. Even though my girls are in the same preschool this year as last, and they LOVE it, we went through a couple of weeks of them being very sensitive to any little thing. Thank goodness that has evened out, and I hope it does soon for you guys, too.

    I hope everyone has a chance to recharge and relax over the weekend! :)

    Oh, and I can’t not say, WHAT A TERRIBLE THING for that neighbor to have said. I know people rarely think before they speak, but geez!!!!!!!!!!!!

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