My twins have shared nearly everything from the moment they were born: from sleepers to soothers to favourite toys. It’s only been recently, now that they are toddlers, that they have started to accumulate individual belongings.
There are fights over toys and sometimes playtime degenerates into a game of hot potato where one child demands the other “share” as they pass the coveted object back and forth every two seconds until a fight erupts and the offending toy (peach bunny) ends up confiscated by my husband or I.
That aside, Molly and Jack have always been a part of team TWIN. When Molly asks for a cup of water, she demands a cup for both her and her brother. If Molly is trying on boots, so is Jack. If Jack is wearing a hat, he asks for one for his sister. If one is going to bed, then the other will follow. They demand equality, most of the time.
This makes the implementation of a reward system for potty training complicated. The first time Jack went number two on the toilet we praised him endlessly for what a big boy he was. This resulted in Molly losing her cool and throwing an epic tantrum. We let her cry it out while we took Jack for “ice cream and unicorn rides”. Last weekend Molly came home from a four-hour excursion with a dry diaper and then successfully used the potty. It was a huge accomplishment, so we praised her and gave her a sticker to reward her. She was thrilled! She put it on her hand and marched away. A few minutes later she came into the kitchen and asked me, “What about a sticker for Jack?” I tried to explain to her that the sticker was for her because of her using the potty and having a dry diaper. She didn’t care, she asked again. She refused to leave the kitchen until she had a sticker for her brother. So I gave it to her.
My children are a team, and they are very proud of that. When one is upset the other sibling, so long as they aren’t the one who’s inflicting the tears, comforts their twin by rubbing their back or giving them a hug or kiss. At first I wasn’t sure how to handle this, but the more I think about it the easier the solution is. If Molly or Jack want to celebrate their achievements by giving a sticker to their sibling so be it. I predict a big investment on dollar store sheets of stickers as we achieve a diaper free existence.
SaraBeth’s personal blog Multiple Momstrosity, was nominated for VoiceBoks Top 50 Hilariously Funny Parent Bloggers – If you can please take the time to vote: http://voiceboks.com/top-50-hilariously-funny-nominated-parent-bloggers-2014/– Just click and vote for (Multiple Momstrosity)
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Oh my cuteness! How precious are they. And I know we had a similar issue with potty training. I mean how can you give so much praise to one and not the other. I know when we give a treat or a prize to one twin for good behavior or something, but not her sister, we never stop her from sharing. I guess I feel like it’s a separate issue. We don’t have to reward the non-complier, but a sister can choose to share.