Confusing Twins

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Categories Identical, Parenting Twins, Relationships

Some people find themselves confusing my twins. It usually doesn’t last more than a few hours of interaction, since they’re not shy when it comes to correcting people, have distinct haircuts, dress differently, and have rather different personalities.

Sure, people confuse twins from time to time. But when the twins get themselves confused, it's truly befuddling.

Last night, I discovered an altogether new level of confusion.

A friend and I were going to slip out to dinner, leaving our kids with her husband. Since my daughters are offered their evening meal at afterschool care, but don’t always eat it, I asked them whether they’d eaten. They both reported that they had, so I didn’t worry about it.

As I was pulling up to my friend’s house, M suddenly spoke up. “Oh! I didn’t eat dinner.”

“But,” I replied, confused, “you told me you did.”

“I know. I confused myself with J.”

“You thought you were J?”

“I thought I’d eaten dinner because she’d eaten dinner, but now I realize that she isn’t me.”

I can’t begin to comprehend how two people can have this degree of interconnectedness.

Have your multiples ever been similarly confused? Is this a thing, or do I simply have the oddest children ever?

Sadia (rhymes with Nadia) has been coordinating How Do You Do It? since late 2012. She is the divorced mother of 7-year-old monozygotic twins, M and J. She lives with them and their 3 cats in the Austin, TX suburbs and works full time as a business analyst. She retired her personal blog, Double the Fun, but now also blogs at and Multicultural Mothering.

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Sadia (rhymes with Nadia) has been coordinating How Do You Do It? since late 2012. She is the divorced mother of 10-year-old monozygotic twins, M and J. They live in the Austin, TX suburbs, where Sadia works full time in information technology. She contributes to a number of parenting websites and magazines and also runs The Mommy Blogging Guide, where she answers mommy bloggers' technical questions.

4 thoughts on “Confusing Twins”

  1. I feel *really* bad when my kids are looking at pictures with me and can’t tell if it’s a picture of herself or her sister. There’s a 6″ difference in hair length, but it was pulled back.

  2. My 2 girls do this sort of thing ALL the time! They are identical. They never wear the same style anything and will often repeatedly check with their sister to make sure they are doing anything the same. And yet, they share everything from clothes & shoes & jewelry to drinks, meals, snacks, and things like IDs, bank cards, library cards, everything. So when they aren’t together, and I think about it ahead of time, I find it very wise to ask if they have their own ID & other essentials with them (since it’s so likely it’s actually in their sister’s bag/purse. (smh) Oh, and they “know” when each other is hungry or thirsty or when they’ve had something to eat – even when they’ve been apart. So I can totally understand one twin forgetting she didn’t eat because her twin sister did eat! :)

  3. My girls do this. They are identical 5-year-olds. They also answer on behalf of the pair: “we want a snack” “we did this today” and half the time I’m pretty sure that only one kid actually wants crackers, or went on the slide, etc. It’s bizarre!

  4. I am always amazed when our girls — who I think are *very* fraternal — confuse themselves in pictures. I can only surmise it’s because they spend so much time looking at each other, and not at themselves?

    And very occasionally they’ll misspeak…B might say, “And then [B] did XYZ,” talking about something her sister did. I’ll question her, and she’ll say, “Oh, yeah, that was [A].” HA!

    This is yet another occasion I just find fascinating. Particularly as an only child myself, I just love to observe the dynamic!

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