Why is there such a gender imbalance in parenting blogs? Thoughts from a blogging dad of 4.

Why So Few Daddy Blogs?

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Categories Dads, Perspective

Thank you to Joe for this guest post! Joe is an author and blogs at Dad’s Guide to Twins.

If you’ve looked around the Internet, you’ll see that mothers dominate the parenting discussion.

Sure, there are dads out there (like me) but we don’t have the volume of our mom counterparts.

In pondering why that is the case, I came to some interesting conclusions.

Joe Rawlinson, author of Dad's Guide to Twins, with his identical daughters.

Why Moms?

For ages, mothers have gathered together to share experiences and help each other. This started back when the men would go off to work the farm or hunt. The ladies would stay back at the house and take care of the family.

The need for moms to bond with other women has remained even though our society and daily routines have changed over time. This bonding is now made that much easier via social media and blogging.

To post online, you need time to write. Moms have a few moments of time during the day. (Ha! No, not really. ) But maybe, just maybe, she blogs during nap times or those brief moments when the kids are playing independently.

What about working mothers that still find time to blog? How is that even possible? The beauty of mobile devices and an always-on society makes posting throughout the day a reality for many.

However, more often, blogging happens at night after the kids go to bed.

Dads Find Other Outlets

A working dad can chat with his coworkers around the water cooler or coffee machine at work. This opportunity to vent frustrations or ask questions of others face to face reduces the need for an online outlet.

Manly Problem Solving

Guys tend to solve the problem and move on. Get in, get out, and get on with your life. Dads may find they have just enough time to seek out an answer to a problem and not to share what is happening after the fact.

Moms tend to solve the problem and then want to share with the whole world their problem and how they solved it.

Trade-Offs and Time

Perhaps dads are so busy working all day (and early morning or evenings) that the last thing they want to do is sit down at a computer and “work” some more on a blog. Dad thinks, “I just spent all day in front of the computer. The last place I want to be at night is hunched over my laptop and typing away the evening.”

If I had to choose between blogging and spending limited free time with my family, I’d choose family.

Many men also use their free time on hobbies (aka video games, etc.) instead of participating in the online parenting discussion.

Reality and Control

Men are supposed to have everything under control, right? To share the reality of parenting online could be perceived as a sign of weakness. To be transparent and real with what is happening in your home and family life tells the world that you don’t have it all under control.

Dads may prefer to escape reality and not linger on challenges of family life. This maybe why some of us run off to our man caves or immerse ourselves in video games.

Self-Perpetuating Silence

If a dad sees no one else talking about parenting online, it creates the impression that there is nothing to be discussed. If I go online looking for a solution to a problem and find no other dads talking about it, I feel it must just be me. I’m weird. I don’t know what I’m doing.

Why do Dads Share?

Joe, author of Dad's Guide to Twins, with his identical twin daughters. He talks about why dads aren't more visible in online parenting communities.

With all this being said, there are still dads sharing their stories online. Why would they do that?

Dad wants to help others. I know that I’m in this camp. When we found out that we were having twins, I was completely overwhelmed. There just wasn’t a lot of information for fathers of twins. So I started dadsguidetotwins.com to help other twin dads that were in the same situation I was.

Other dads just want to shout from the rooftops, “Hey look at me! I’m awesome.” That’s cool. While that isn’t my style, I’ll admit that you can usually learn something for others’ experiences even if their style is different from your own.

Online is easier than real life. Let’s face it, you can be anything you want to be online and sugarcoat things or make things look harder than the reality. This disconnect between the real world and the online world makes sharing life online easier.

Stay at home dads may feel like they are lacking the social interactions they once enjoyed outside the home. Blogging and sharing their stories online help eliminate feelings of isolation. Even though the number of SAHDs is growing, it is still relatively small compared to moms.

What do you think? Why do moms seem to dominate the online parenting discussion? Let us know in the comments.

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Published by

Joe Rawlinson (dadsguidetotwins.com)

Joe Rawlinson is the father of four children, two boys and identical twin girls. He is the author of two books for fathers of twins, Dad's Guide to Twins: How to Survive the Twin Pregnancy and Prepare for Your Twins and Dad's Guide to Raising Twins: How to Thrive as a Father of Twins. You can find more tips and tricks for preparing for and raising your twins at dadsguidetotwins.com.

33 thoughts on “Why So Few Daddy Blogs?”

  1. As a mom, I love reading Dad blogs! I so appreciate that perspective…which in some ways can be very close to my own…and in others can be very different.

    I don’t disagree with any of the ideas you outlined as to why the disparity between men and women bloggers, but I tend to think about women — very generally speaking — as being more expressive writers. My husband, for example, is very eloquent…a linguist by trade…but he would never think to sit down and process through something on paper (or online). For me, it’s a relaxing, invigorating process.

    I am seeing, at least in our small geography, a slight uptick in the number of dad communities. I have a couple of friends whose husbands stay home with their children (at least part-time), and they have talked about how awkward it can be to face the mommy crowd at the park. I love seeing the network some of these guys have formed. I hope it’s the spark of something much bigger. Although guys may not write as much as ladies do, I think they enjoy community to the same degree.

    Thanks for guest posting! Sure enjoyed your perspective!

    1. @MandyE – thanks for your insights and perspective in your comment. I agree that guys do enjoy the community too and I’m happy to see that those groups are growing.

  2. Interesting post- I don’t really know. My husband is a stay at home dad and even my youngest is in pre school for 2.5 hrs a day so theoretically he could be blogging then, in reality he’d rather be gardening! Men are generally perceived at being less good at multi-tasking which might be part of it. I can write a post whilst feeding a baby our keeping an eye on the plot of game of thrones. My husband can only really do one activity at once!

    The dad blogging community is definitely growing here though and I love reading things from a dad’s perspective. #TwinklyTuesday

  3. Interesting post – I love reading blogs from dads too as it gives a different insight into the world of parenting. I agree with your first point though about how women often seem to have a need to bond with other women and many of us do this through sharing our parenting experiences with blogging. I also tend to work through things by writing whereas my husband tends to work through problems in his mind, solve them and move on rather than reflecting. Whilst he has shared his thoughts a couple of times on my blog, he rarely does so as writing is not generally how he expresses himself.

  4. I do really enjoy reading blogs from a Dad’s perspective. I wonder if part of the reason there are so many more ‘mum’ blogs is that women tend to worry more? Making a real generalisation here I know, but most mums I speak to will say they spend a lot of time on Google looking to see if what they’re experiencing with their baby/child is ‘normal’, and to see what advice they can find on various parenting problems. This might then lead to them wanting to share their own thoughts and experiences, in the hope that it might help another googling mum down the line?! Who knows! #TwinklyTuesday

  5. i love the dad blogging community its great to see the of the story. we all know how us mums feel we rant enough to each other but rarely do we listen to how the dads feel. I’ve noticed a rise in male bloggers in general recently so this a really good thing imo ! #twinklytuesday

    1. Interesting perspective! I work in IT. When it comes to technology, the bloggers are VASTLY more likely to be men. In fact, I can’t think of a single female blogger in my field.

  6. I think guys are probably less likely to be blog readers before they became dads, so it doesn’t occur to them. I never read much online that wasn’t sports related before I started this

    1. Good point. Priorities switch when the kids come along. Sports and hobbies give way to surviving as a dad. That definitely changes up your daily consumption of information.

  7. It’s interesting to read a Dad-blogger’s thoughts on this topic. I think that perhaps some of the reasoning here stereotypes men – and mommy bloggers – a bit too much, but I see where you are coming from. I look forward to seeing the daddy-verse expand as more men discover the benefits – social, emotional, and even financial – possible with blogging, and as they create bogs that really speak to their interests and styles.

  8. I think us dad bloggers are a growing community, but for me the reason not as many dads blog as mums is inherently that dads don’t talk as much (I’m not talking nattering or gossiping, not trying to be a stereotype male here).

    What I mean is that women talk, they talk through issues, they talk through experiences, they talk about children, most men still do not. The average male conversation is still about sports etc, talking families is still perceived as not normal (those of us bucking that trend are growing but still small).

    I’ve said for a while now that men need to be more open and talk more, and it is changing but it is a slow steady growth. I think one day we will get to the same levels but not yet.

    Anyway it helps those of us who do stand out a little more :)

  9. Hello, my name is David, and I am a dad who blogs about parenting…
    When I first started blogging I didn’t really know about any sort of parent blogging community as such, but I had come across mummy bloggers. As the birth of our daughter approached I read some of them but sometimes felt that, although they covered a broad range of topics and in many cases were helpful and informative, I had difficulty relating to them. My feelings were different as a dad to be, and there wasn’t many people I saw telling my story.
    But I really started my blog because I needed a means of channeling my feelings and vocalising the thoughts and concerns I had. I’ve never been good at talking about my feelings, and writing about them helps me work through things and make sense of what I am feeling and why.
    I’ve been blogging for just three months, and since then I have seen that there are daddy bloggers out there, and you can find them, but you’re right, and your observations as to the reasons why there are not too many are probably true. As dads get more involved in parenting, in time I’m sure the numbers will grow.
    Came here via #TwinklyTuesday

  10. I think there is some truth in more mums initially being at home and wanting to find an outlet in the brief moments of respite when new babies sleep. I know how isolated Mrs B felt at times during her mat leave and I think the community aspect of blogging is a major support for many mums. Dads are far more likely to be at work and although that doesn’t stop us blogging (me included) it does sometimes feel like a chore after a day in the office. Having said that many mums blog and work and do the bulk of the childcare so it can’t be the only reason.
    Another one could be that men tend not to be big ‘sharers’ and blogging can look like a close community of women all sharing in that honest way that makes some men run a mile. I know I tend not to share that much personal information, and fall back on humour a lot in my writing.
    And finally I think as others have said here, men do write, in work and for a hobby, but they tend to write about sport or tech or cooking or something practical. Not being a proper bloke and having none of these skills I am happy to exploit my child as a well of inspiration and blab on about being a dad. I don’t know if he’ll thank me for it when he grows up! If you’re looking for more dad bloggers do try http://www.lovealldads.co.uk

  11. As a dad blogger this was a very interesting read. Up until I started my blog a year and a bit ago I didn’t even use Facebook, I had no idea of what a tweet even was! Now I write every aspect of my life and share it on line. Primarily I set the blog up to help others- after we experienced a miscarriage over our wedding. I wanted dads to have a forum to talk to other dad privately about their feelings and fears.
    We have twins arriving in the family and I know that the parents are over whelmed with the news so sites like yours are an excellent resource- I will be pointing them in your direction :)

  12. There definitely are more mom blogs than dad blogs out there. But, I think the dad blog market is increasing, I’ve found a lot that I enjoy following. It’s really nice to get the dad perspective on things! #TwinklyTuesday

  13. I love reading dad blogs when I come across them. Yo read a male parenting perspective is eye opening, and usually pretty damn hilarious to boot. I agree with the rely earlier that says they seem to be popping up more often lately :) #timetospeakupdads
    Thanks for the interesting read. #twinklytuesday.

  14. I loved reading this and can see why perhaps mothers dominate the “parent blog” world. My hubby has so many opinions, thoughts and anecdotes on parenting but yet wouldn’t think twice of sharing his words of wisdom through the internet or blogosphere. He’s much happier chatting to co-workers or friends through discussion and entering into conversations. #twinklytuesday

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