Even though I’ve never had a little girl, and things like tea parties, flower necklaces and pretty pink dresses are not part of my day to day life, I’m sure there are things that a mommy of girls simply must do, get used to, or prepare for.
Being a mommy of only boys however, means that my list differs a little. Gone are the pretty dresses and cute little teacups and in its place we have mud-stained jeans and monster trucks. Here’s a list of the things that moms of boys must love, prepare for and simply accept if you have the privilege of only having boys in your life.
1. You must love bath time.
By “bath time” I don’t mean you sitting in a luxurious, warm, lavender-scented tub with candles and a glass of rose’. I mean you must love giving baths, because boys require a lot of them. You must love sitting on a soaked towel, receiving drenching splashes every few minutes whilst laughing yourself silly at the funny sounds your kids can make by blowing air into their toys or pouring water all over each other. You must love the smell of bubble-gum scented bubble bath on the floor, the curtains, your clothing, and the new set of clean towels and outfits you just took out for them.
2. You must think farts are funny.
Why you may ask? Boys think farts are funny: period. The way you handle that will determine your stress levels. If you try to get them to stop laughing about it, it will only make things worse. They might actually end up laughing in spite of you. If you laugh with them, you’ll all benefit. Right now I have no control over my little one’s inappropriate timing when it comes to letting out a fart, but I’m sure once they are older, I could stress the fact that there are appropriate and inappropriate times to letting one “rip”.
3. You must prepare for chaos at all times
Whether it’s their entire toy collection lying on your 1.25 x 2.2 lounge carpet, the kitchen sink filled with plates, spoons, sippy-cups and bowls in all the colours of the rainbow or the aftermath of a nuclear bomb that hit their bedroom, boys are messy. It doesn’t matter how many times you pick up all the toys, sort them accordingly and place them in their respective bags/boxes, as soon as you turn your back they WILL take that box and turn it upside down. Resigning yourself to the fact that they are having fun and that the chaos is not life threatening could save you a lot of time and even help you enjoy their craziness a bit.
4. You must rethink your “safety” standards
You know those mommies who religiously sterilize their baby’s bottles and pacifiers, run behind their toddler with hand wipes and gasps loudly every time her little angel takes a fall. Well I used to be one of those mommies or at least that was the plan. With boys, you can’t be one of those mommies. Boys are rough and will always be rough. They jump off things, drive into things, run over things and climb up things. They taste dirt, grass, old food, papers and basically anything they find goes straight to their mouths just out of curiosity. They try to run or drive their scooters faster than the other and with multiple boys; you’ll even have to break up a full blown fist to fist fight every so often. The best thing to do for your own sanity is to stock up on some Band-Aids and look the other way every now and then.
5. You must be prepared for a constant battle of wills.
Just like girls, boys are strong-willed, yet unlike girls they will easily start a war just to have things their way. Whether you have multiples or boy siblings, be prepared for constant fighting. It could be over the same toy, who gets to sit on mommy or daddy’s lap, or even just getting in each other’s way that could start a battle between the two. My “go to” thing in a situation like this is DISTRACTION. It doesn’t matter what you do; make a funny sound, point out something, or pull a funny face, just distract them as quick as possible.