A lot of twin moms complain that they can’t go anywhere without people saying something about their babies, turning fast errands into long outings. While true, I made a conscience decision not to let the attention bother me. I figured that seeing twin babies is always a special sight and people want to share in that specialness by talking to you. Plus, I figure when my boys are 6 or 7 and running around the store terrorizing people, I am not going to get the adoring looks and happy smiles I get now so I better enjoy the attention while it lasts. . .
The compliments and smiles have been endless. I appreciate that others think my kids are as cute as I do! People generally rush to open doors for me and make my life easier at the checkout counter. The politeness has been so profound that during the few times I am out without the boys, I feel the difference in the way people treat me. It is nice to know that people think two babies is as special as I think it is.
There are so many funny things that people have said to me over this last year. I love when I see a grandmother clearly in the US helping her daughter or daughter-in-law care for a new baby. The grandmother always stops and asks “are they twins?”. I say “yes”, and they say “where’s your mom”. Hummm, dare I tell here my mom lives 3000 miles away and works full time! I say “she does not live here”. Them: “Do you have any help?”. Me “no”. Them: “[disappointing sounding] ohhh, you should get some help” and I swear they almost look like they want to jump ship and come home with me.
Often people will look at the boys and ask which is older. It is such a funny question to us twin moms who pay no attention to this when rearing our children but to a lot of cultures, age rank matters and they genuinely want to know who is the oldest son. They often think my bigger guy is older and when I tell them that his brother is technically the “older” one, they often say “but he is so much smaller!!” as if I am defying physics. I nod and say “I know, that’s just the way it is sometimes”. This question does not bother me though, in fact, we often make big brother/little brother jokes at home. We are a family that jokes a lot and I suspect once they are older, the boys will find great humor in claiming to be older or younger while accepting the reality of them being the same age.
Once a woman pointed to my larger twin and said “He has such a big belly.[pause] He looks just like you”. Hummmm, not sure what to make of that.
People have pointed to one son (without seeing the other) and said, “Gosh, he is your twin.” I say “no, he is his twin” and point to his brother. I’m the only one who laughed.
Once a woman stopped me a said, “my husband says that twins are not double the work, it’s squared”. I laughed and agreed. When I relayed the exchange to my mathematician husband, he complained that the math did not make sense, but I still think the sentiment is true!
Sometimes people ask me, while looking at my boys, if I have boy/girl twins. I have never had the courage to ask which one they think is the girl. This will always make me wonder. . .
I love when young guys comment on the twins because 9 times out of 10, it turns out they are a twin too! Young males rarely tell you that your kids are very cute, but if they do, it is likely because they have an experience to share.
Moms of twins often say hi- confessing they too are part of the twin club. The first thing they say after seeing the boys are less than a year old is that it gets easier. I always appreciate their honesty and their acknowledgement that the first year is really hard. And they are right! As we progress through this second year, it does get a lot easier.
The other day the four of us were at Costco. We left the store and while walking to the car, and my husband and I noticed that we were not charged for a couple of items. We walked back to the store to pay for these things and the guy at the customer service counter said that he was surprised they missed these items because the checkout people are usually pretty good and the people at the door hardly ever miss anything. My husband pointed to the boys and said “we have twins, people often get distracted and miss things with us”. It really could not be more true. Whether we are walking around the store with the boys in the front of the over-sized carts at Costco, pushing them in their tandem stroller, or wearing them in matching Bjorns, they are unbearably cute and I love that they bring a smile to so many people’s faces!