Daycare Jitters for Momma

This September, my 14-month old twin daughters will start daycare. Up until this point, they have been at home with me and/or my husband, or with extended family. I was recently asked back to my previous company and was faced with the big decision of whether or not to “leave” the girls. I tried working full-time when the twins were 6-months old and it ended up being too hectic for us. Though the girls were at home with family, I couldn’t stand leaving before they woke and returning just before they went to bed. After trying to suck it up for a few months, we decided it was best if I stayed home. I loved my time home with the girls but also realize the effects it could have on my career if I was out of the job market for a long period of time. Granted, having twins is a good “excuse” for being out of work but, it’s a tough market out there!

I have worked it out with my employer that I will work one to two days a week from home. The girls will go to daycare just two days a week and my husband can watch them the extra day as he is a Firefighter and his schedule is quirky. We are very lucky in that we will only send them to daycare two days and I will be home two days. Honestly, I don’t think we could afford more than two days a week for each of them. Daycare costs are outrageous!

I have brought them to visit the daycare about three times in the past two weeks so they can adjust to going in and out of the building and so they recognize their teacher and the environment. Each time, the girls immediately leave my side and run (waddle, new walkers!) in to explore and check out the other kids. The first two times they didn’t even look to see if I was there and they cried when I made them leave. Obviously, we have no problem with socialization here. Is it awful that I wish they needed me more??

The third time my husband and I both brought them in and we left the room to work on paperwork. I could see them through the glass and they were playing very well. The instant we went back in to get them, “A” came to me crying and whining and clinging to my legs. Now I know this was all an act but I can’t help but feel guilty! I could see that it had just registered in her clever little brain that she was LEFT THERE! Her little sister (by 1 minute) was oblivious and again threw a fit when we made her leave the other children.

I have already returned to work and the girls are doing great at home with Daddy. They are napping and eating well and greet me with hugs and kisses. Though it seems they adjust well, I have this weight on my shoulders that is growing heavier as next week comes closer. I am dreading dropping them off. Perhaps this is harder on me than it is on them. I am taking solace in the fact that they will have each other; they can look around the room and see a familiar face in their sister.

At least they have each other!

Parents – how do you deal with the anxiety of dropping your children at daycare/school for the first time?

"Are you their Nanny or Something?"

Hi, I’m Krystle. I’m new to HDYDI, I’m a wife to a Firefighter, a daughter, a friend, who is newly-back-to-work-full-time, a blogger, a type A, a runner, a clean freak, a true multi-tasker, and a mother-extraordinaire to 13-month-old fraternal (we think) twin girls… Did you get all that?

I’ve always preferred to be busy, perhaps that’s why fate decided I was meant to have twins. I enthusiastically went straight from undergraduate to graduate school, then on to marriage. Ironically, we conceived our twin daughters, on our honeymoon, in the city that was founded by twin brothers – Roma! Hopefully, my twins don’t kill each other in the end… Yikes!

We knew we wanted to start a family immediately. We just didn’t expect it to happen exactly 9 months from the month we were married… Yes, I carried them full term… We also didn’t expect to be blessed with TWINS! They don’t run in my family and honestly, the possibility never crossed our minds. We were beyond thrilled and still, 13 months later, we are giddy with joy over these two munchkins. Though tough at times, our girls have brought us closer and enriched our lives in ways I never thought possible. Is it crazy to say I hope we have twins again when we are ready to think about baby #3 (and possibly #4)? So keep in mind as I post, that I’m deliriously in love with these two little love-bugs that make me laugh on an hourly basis.

This story all started one sunny, August afternoon… After groggily making it through our morning routine, I decided to take the girls out of the house. Naturally, I stopped by Dunkin Donuts to re-energize. Thanks to new teeth painfully cutting through my toddlers’ gums, we hadn’t slept well all week. The girls just learned to walk and strapping them into a cart or stroller was out of the question, I didn’t want to deal with whining and crying. So, I decided on the park. A nice, fenced in park, with wood chips and toddler friendly climbing and swings. Taking two walking toddlers out is hard work, and nerve-wrecking… but since they were newborns, I have always insisted that we take the girls out and not be afraid we won’t be able to “handle it.”

Once I let the girls out of their monstrous double stroller, they took off! They were giggling, wobbling around like little penguins, falling down, tossing wood-chips, and tasting things left and right. Of course, I had “A” headed to my left and “E” was headed in the complete opposite direction. I let them explore, but always kept an eye on each of them.

Then I see them… the park Moms. I decide to be social and head their way.  They smile and nod. They state that the girls are “so cute,” and ask if they are twins. I state the obvious, that yes they are in fact twins.

Then one of the Mom’s asks me: “Are you their Nanny or something?”

I reply, “I’m their Mother.”

She awkwardly stammers in response “Oh.. Uh.. Well… they are just so well behaved.”

 

Thanks?

 

I was immediately offended… was it my scrambling around; my frantic corralling behavior? My immature hair in a messy bun? My lack of make-up? My track shorts, tank top, flip-flops, and iced coffee? Was it the fact that my girls were better dressed than I was? Was it the fact that I’m in my mid twenties with twin toddlers? Why did these women think I was their nanny? Her tone really pushed me over the edge as it implied I couldn’t possibly be their mother.

Now, I’ve received the statements that some of our other bloggers have echoed: “better you than me!” “You must be exhausted” “double trouble!”  and even the simple shudder at the thought of two newborns… But, are you serious? Their NANNY?

Yes, it’s true, you’re chances of conceiving twins increases with age and pregnancies. Also, with the increasing use of fertility drugs, older mothers are having multiples more often. So, it’s more common to see twins being raised by older parents. However, there are young mothers that have twins. Just because I am a young mother, this does not mean I am less responsible. I can relate to Dr. Lisa’s sentiments upon first bringing her “little burritos” and wondering, What Now? I have come to terms with the fact that I am a “Good Enough Mother” though it wasn’t until recently that I unrealistically strived to be a perfect mother. Just as I was done trying to do everything “right,” these park Moms shook me and threw me right back into the whirlwind of doubt.

Are there any young mothers to multiples out there that have faced the same playground discrimination that I have?