Meet a How Do You Do It? author

MarisaB

MarisaB is the proud mother of nine month old boy/girl twins, Jack and Mara. A recent stay at home mom, she left her job in corporate communications to raise her very active - and curious - twins. A former adjunct English professor, MarisaB and her husband, Steven, live in the Philadelphia area. When she isn't blogging about the trials and tribulations of being a new twin momma, she enjoys reading, cooking, attempting to knit, running, enjoying a nightly glass of wine, and spending time with her family at the Jersey Shore. MarisaB loves talking with other twin moms, so drop her a line at MarisaBtwins@gmail.com!

Toddler Thursday: Indoor Activities For Young Toddlers

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Year Two. So far it’s been absolutely wonderful, watching these two little tiny babies turn into these two tiny little people with personalities. And it really does keep getting better and better. Each month brings new progress in their cognitive capabilities – which means new opportunities for learning and activities.

As a stay at home mom, I’ve filled my days with outings and visits and play dates and trips to Target, the park, the mall, baby gyms, music classes …  everything. Everywhere. But as the weather grows colder, I’ve found myself sticking closer and closer to home. Which means coming up with some fun and easy activities for us to do inside.

It’s both overwhelming and exciting to dive into the world of toddler activities …the internet is full of imaginative ideas, from Pinterest to personal blogs to preschool lesson plans. And as very young toddlers – 14 months old – my kids are still waaaaaay too young for a lot of the more advanced activities. (Those super adorable hand print turkeys? I cant wait to do them next year!) I admit, I’ve dipped into the toddler activity world, trying lots of new things out. Yes, sometimes the ideas are a flop. But sometimes they are awesome.

Here are some of the fun – and easy – things we have done indoors this fall.

Indoor Activities for Young Toddlers from hdydi.com
Photo Credit: Veganbaking.net and torbakhopper cc

Visit the Dollar Store

This was a brilliant suggestion from my very creative mother (with a graduate degree in early childhood education!) The dollar store is incredible for toddler toys and activities, art supplies and crafting ideas. Last month I made each child their own sensory/discovery basket with all kinds of random goodies: pipe cleaners, little bells, yarn, toy animals, colorful squares of paper, feathers, etc. I also came up with a fun game with muffin tins. I purchased a bunch of fun little balls  – pom poms, ping-pong balls, dried beans – and put them in the tins. The kids loved touching and exploring everything in the tins.

The dollar store also has great art supplies for dirt cheap – which is especially good at this age when you don’t want to spend an arm and a leg on crayons and paper, and since your dear son still wants to eat them at times.

Pretend Play

My parents moved last year, and gifted my husband and I with this kind of wacky three-foot tall antique wooden cheetah that used to be in their family room. We placed it in the living room, and soon the kids were coming over to examine it. I decided to make a game out of it. He was the “kitty cat” and he lived in the living room. Each day, I ask the twins where the kitty cat is, and we go over to visit him. Sometimes we bring him another animal or puppet to visit with; sometimes we put him by the window, look outside and talk about what we see; sometimes we find he is going “night night” and we need to be quiet; sometimes we give him hugs and kisses.

Another activity along these lines is going on little exploratory walks around the house. We take a stuffed animal, doll or puppet in a little doll stroller, navigate around the house, and point out different objects. For example, the kids will take their little duck puppet to smell the flowers, look at the dining room chandelier, and wave to the dog in the yard across the street.

Mini Magnet Boards

I came across this easy idea on a toddler activity blog: instead of putting magnets on your refrigerator, use little cookie sheets. It’s a creative way for toddlers to sit and play with the magnets instead of standing up in the kitchen. The kids love taking them off and moving them around on the cookie sheets.

Surprise Boxes

Since I have a legitimate addition to Amazon, I get a ton of boxes. Before we recycle them, I use them for play. I place different little objects in each box, stack them into each other, and let the kids explore. They delight in finding little treasures and pulling apart the stacks.

In general, boxes are an awesome toy in itself. Jack and Mara love to sit in them, get pulled around the house in them, and hide in them.

Trying on Hats

I think I started to do this to try and make hat wearing a “fun” thing since Jack and Mara absolutely refuse to wear a hat unless it’s tied on! We gather up hats around the house – baseball hats, an old Halloween costume wig, knit hats, ski hats, and try them on in front of the mirror. Yes, sometimes fighting will erupt when one wants the others hat, but it’s still a great little game.

Putting Objects In and Out of Baskets

I recently realized Jack and Mara liked putting the blocks back into the bag as much as they actually liked playing with the blocks themselves. So I’ve elaborated on this a bit in a bunch of different ways. We also put their stuffed animals in and out of a large storage bin, put laundry in a basket, Tupperware in and out of a drawer, bath items in and out of a basket.

Designated Book Time

I would be remiss if I didn’t include this, even though it’s not a novel idea. Several times a day I make time for reading. I grab a stack of books, plop the twins down, and read. As my fellow twin mothers know, having two toddlers sit and listen to an entire book at the same time – every time – is impossible. So, this is what I do. I sit there and read. And I keep reading. Maybe Mara will sit for the first book, then move away for the second, and come back for the third – or Jack will sit for the second but not the first, and play with some trucks for the third. It doesn’t matter if its perfect. Each day they are paying attention longer and longer, and even if they are not sitting on my lap, they are still hearing the words.

Dancing

This is such a simple activity … but so much fun. My mother in law bought Jack and Mara a Beatles for Babies cd for their first birthday, and we have played it every day ever since. The kids love to listen to music,shake and sway a bit, bend their knees, and clap in appreciation when the song is over. They also love for me to dance holding one of them – or, often times, both!

Going Up and Down Stairs

After they turned a year old, Jack and Mara started going up and down the stairs by themselves (with me watching them). Since then, its become a little game for them. I let them (always close by!) climb up and down the staircase. Sometimes they like to bring a toy with them, then take it down, or linger a bit on the landing. Its helping them master this skill and giving them a little physical exercise at the same time.

Edible Finger Paint

Ideas for do-it-yourself finger paint is all over the blogosphere. I was incredibly intrigued and decided to make my own simple concoction using vanilla pudding and food coloring. In order to contain the mess as well as I could, I put the twins in their high chairs and let them go to town. Needless to say, they absolutely loved rubbing the pudding all around the trays. I think Jack may have eaten about a pound of it, but oh well. It was a success!

Which leads into the next activity, which absolutely has to go hand-in-hand with the finger paint …

Making Bath Time an Activity

My children absolutely love bath time – so I often bring them in the tub during the day with new toys and balls. Splashing around is also a great way for them to get some physical activity, too.

What are some of your favoritevindoor activities for your toddler?

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Toddler Thursday: Welcome to Year Two with Twins!

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The toddler years are an intense time for all involved. Our kids are suddenly in everything, aware of everything, questioning everything. Our multiples have figured out that there is power in numbers and can cause all sorts of mischief even while wowing us with their insights.

Several of the HDYDI Moms’ multiples are on the brink of toddlerhood. It was time, we decided, to introduce Toddler Thursdays, a weekly series on the joy and challenges of the toddler years, multiplied by multiples.


What's harder and easier with toddlers compared to infants. from hdydi.comYear two – with two! I am not exactly sure how I envisioned the second year. If I am being completely honest, I think it was difficult to think beyond the first year. Not to pat myself on the back, but making it to one year was an incredible feat in itself.

Now that Jack and Mara are 14 months old, I’m learning more and more about this new and exciting period in their lives. While some things have gotten much easier, we are also dealing with brand new challenges. Here are some lessons I am slowly learning as we embark on this journey.

What has gotten easier …

Walking is a game changer

I may be in the minority on this one, but things have gotten so much better since the twins started walking (Jack at 10.5 months, Mara at 11.5). We are able to do new things like go to the park, which has been absolutely wonderful. Logistically, it has also helped a lot. For example, they don’t each need to be held consistently in the doctor’s office; they can walk around the room. It has also been easier for play dates and going to other people’s homes, as they are not crawling around on the floor. The obvious flip side is that mobility means more independence for them … which means they have a greater ability to get into things. But honestly, I don’t mind. It’s completely worth it.

They are learning to play independently … and with each other

Jack and Mara love to chase each other around, explore the house, and play “hide and seek”. While there have been bursts of this in the earlier months, it seems to happen more and more each day. Plus, they are able to play by themselves more  – even if it is just 20 minutes while I cook dinner.

And, there is nothing that warms my heart more than hearing them squeal in delight  … even if it means they are squealing in delight as they splash in the toilet together.

Watching them talk and learn new words is incredible

Their vocabulary is growing by the day.  There is nothing more exciting or thrilling than hearing your toddler learn something new. Some of Jack and Mara’s recent words and phrases include “people”, “good girl”, and “the end” (when we finish a book.)

Bye Bye, Bottles!

For those of us who used bottles, this is especially liberating. There is nothing more gratifying than putting all of those bottles away for good (for me, it was the Dr. Browns bottles … note to self: maybe all of those parts weren’t such a good idea when you are dealing with two babies?!)

And don’t get me started on the joy of stopping formula. Woo hoo!

If you look back a year ago, its hard to believe you have gotten where you are now

During a particularly fussy day with the kids last weekend, my husband asked me to think back to where we were a year ago. Oh yes, that’s right … a year ago Jack and Mara were still teeny tiny newborns eating every two hours. I was hooked up to that darn pumping machine all day. My husband would joke that when it got dark out, his heart would race because he was so terrified of what that night would be like. I slept on an air mattress in Jack’s nursery. Our big outings were trips around the neighborhood in the double snap and go.

We were in pure survival mode, living in a fog.

After you have survived newborn twins, not even the worst day with two toddlers will ever feel that bad.

And harder …

Nap transitions with twins

I could write volumes about this topic. For the first year, I prided myself on my excellent little sleepers who kept to a very strict sleep and nap schedule. But when they turned one, Jack went rogue. He refused to take naps. I tried everything – going from two to one, waking him up before his sister, keeping them up later … but he didn’t want to nap. Poor Mara … I made her go along with whatever I was trying with Jack. (Thank goodness she is a great and adaptable sleeper!) But trying to figure out a new schedule all over again with two kids is hard.  Really, really hard.

The fighting. The biting. The screaming.

This has been a real source of anxiety for me. Last week, we invited two other toddlers over for a play date (non-twins). The two other toddlers were very sweet and well-behaved. But unfortunately for me, Jack and Mara decided to act like terrors – biting, fighting over toys, screaming at each other. It was awful. The other two toddlers seemed to be a little bit afraid of them.

Is it because there are two of them, that they fight more? I have thought about this a lot lately. Are singletons better behaved sometimes because they don’t have a built-in playmate (or rival!) to scuffle with, day in and day out? Anyway, the fighting has been a real challenge for us.

Attachment … times two

For the past two months, Mara has been attached at my hip. While I secretly revel in the attention and devotion, it has also been very difficult. Tending to a second child while she is clinging to me is incredibly hard. She also does not want to share me with her brother. If I am reading to Mara, with her sitting on my lap, and Jack comes over to sit with me too, she will push him away.

They aren’t loving being confined in the stroller

I remember taking the twins to Lord and Taylor last spring and bringing them in the dressing room while I tried on bathing suits. Ha! This would unlikely never happen at this moment. Their stroller threshold seems to be at an all time low. They need motion, motion, motion or else they scream to get out. I’ve limited the activities we do in the stroller for now.

What has toddlerhood been like for you? What has gotten easier, and what are you struggling with?
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Twinfant Tuesday: How I’m Rocking Year One (so far!)

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I was having a completely awful day a few months ago. After I put Jack and Mara down for their nap, I grabbed my computer and googled “when do twins get easier” and “first year help with twins” and “getting through year one with twins.” Through that search, I found this website, and for the next hour I absorbed article after article, tip after tip. I felt as if I had found a whole new and amazing twin group of moms to talk to and get reassurance that yes, things will ultimately be okay. Because during the first year, that is so important to hear.

That being said —  ten (!) months in, I am so close to that amazing milestone – my twins will soon be turning one. Granted, I realize I titled this post “rocking”, and there have been many, many days early on (and many times even now!) when I was definitely not “rocking” anything and am really just surviving day-to-day, but overall, I think I got this whole twin thing down for now. At least at this age!

Here are some things, looking back, that have truly helped me so far this first year.

Remaining positive about having twins

I am sometimes taken aback about how negative some parents of twins can be about having twins. I have heard parents say they cant help to think what if their situation was different, or wishing out loud that had both children but at different times.  In a recent article I read on raising twins, a mother commented that she wished she only implanted one embryo, not two. How sad!

Trust me – I do understand that twins can be incredibly challenging, but not once have I ever let myself go down that line of destructive thinking. If I let myself worry about whether the grass would have been greener with a singleton, I would miss out on what I have. My babies are blessings and I truly believe twins (and multiples!) in general are incredible blessings. I think my positive attitude has had a lot to do with how well my first year is going.

Getting help in the beginning

A fellow twin friend told me that one of her friends (also a mother of twins twins) had cashed out her 401k to get round the clock help during the first few months. While that initially sounded like an extreme situation, I can relate to the importance – and almost the sheer desperation – of getting help.

I am fortunate that both of my parents are retired, and that my husbands entire family lives within ten minutes of us. I could not have gotten through the first three months without help from our families. My mother lived with us for the first three months, for four days out of the week. She cooked us delicious meals each day, did our food shopping and most importantly, helped take care of the twins. I could not have done it without her. My mother in law would stay with us the remaining three days those first three months. She was also a saint. My husband’s father and step mother have been truly amazing as well.  And now, almost a year later, they continue to be an incredible support for my husband and I.

I understand I was fortunate to have so much (free) help from family members. My advice for others expecting twins would be to enlist the help of friends, family, baby-sitters, neighbors, mother’s helpers – anyone willing to help. Take anything you can get! And don’t be shy about asking for what you need, whether it’s an hour alone to run errands, or someone to grab groceries for you, or even let you have a few hours of sleep. I remember my sister-in-law and her husband watched the twins for me for two hours when they were about two weeks old so I could get some sleep. I couldn’t have been more grateful.

Dry shampoo

Yes, I know this is silly but trust me, its been a huge help for me, especially this year. Using dry shampoo, I am able to extend my hair washing to three days. When you don’t have a ton of time to wash and style your hair, this comes in handy. I was able to catch up on more sleep, get my house in order, gleefully waste a few precious moments trolling for celebrity gossip on the internet, cleaning bottles – anything instead of washing my hair. Gross? Perhaps, yes. But sooo useful.

Being able to carry two babies at once

My husband recently watched Jack and Mara for an afternoon while I ran some errands. When I returned, I asked him what the hardest part was – feeding, changing, nap time. He replied, “carrying them up the stairs at the same time.”

Really? I guess by now its second nature to me. I scoop up each baby and cradle them under my arms, almost in the nursing “football position” but back up and stomach down. I’ve gotten incredibly comfortable with the dual-carry which has saved me from transporting two babies upstairs at different times. I am sure they will soon be too big to do this, but it has really helped me this first year.

The schedule

One of my all-time favorite bloggers, Pam Kocke, author of Pyjammy’s Triplets wrote one of the my favorite blog posts ever on raising multiples, delightfully entitled “Are three kids easier than one?” (Check it out here.)

In explaining why sometimes having multiples is easier than a singleton, Pam describes why having a strict schedule has enabled her to get all three of her boys on track. She also shares that her boys sleep better than a lot of singletons she knows.

Jack and Mara have slept through the night since month four or five, and continue to take two consistent naps a day. I take pride in this, and almost feel like it was a reversal of fate after a really super hard beginning four months. Jack and Mara sleep better than any of the singleton babies I know around the same age. Why? We have been adamant about keeping them on a schedule. I NEED that hour or two during the day to myself. Its my sanity. The babies now know when its nap time and bed time. I don’t have another one of me to rock two babies to sleep, or coddle them into snoozing. By putting them down awake (my only choice!), they have successfully learned to self soothe.

My jogging stroller

I was one of those twin moms who gained a TON of weight – probably close to 75 lbs. While the first 65 came off pretty easily, the last ten were very stubborn. Trying to fit in trips to the gym and working out at home was pretty much impossible. When the twins napped, all I wanted to go was nap. So this left me with little free time to exercise.

I purchased a jogging stroller in January, when the twins were four months old. As the weather got nicer, I began to take them out once a day. I am the first to admit I am not a runner by any means. However, I began to really enjoy jogging with Jack and Mara. It was a way for me to get some exercise, it allowed the babies to get some fresh air and a change of scenery, and it gave us another “activity” to do during the day. A few of my friends purchased the highly coveted double BOB strollers, but I opted for the Schwinn Jogger, which was about half the price and still continues to do the job just fine.

Lowering my expectations about what I can handle …

When Jack and Mara were born, I left my job in corporate communications to be a stay-at-home mom. I was recently offered a pretty great consulting gig — one that I could do from home. While I initially accepted it, I had to turn it down. Why? I just can’t juggle it now. If I tried to take on something that time-consuming, I wouldn’t be able to keep up with my new, main job – raising the twins. It would stress me out and put me over the edge. So, I said no. It was a difficult decision but in the long run, I know my sanity is most important. I can’t do everything right now, and I’m okay with that.

… and lowering my expectations about nursing

I went into my pregnancy gung-ho about breast-feeding. I would tandem nurse both babies each day exclusively. I hired a lactation consultant to help me in the beginning and put me on the right path. I rented a hospital grade pump to help with my milk production. I bought every book written that included sections on nursing multiples. Yadda yadda yadda. I WOULD DO IT and I WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL.

To make a long story short, I was able to nurse and pump for about three and a half months before I gave up. It was a difficult decision to throw in the towel, but in the end, it was the right decision for myself and my family. I tried not to be disappointed in myself for only lasting three and a half months. Instead, I was proud that I was able to last that long. I did my best, and that’s all I could do.

My nap nanny

Oh, nap nanny – why did you get recalled?!!?? A fellow twin friend introduced me to these amazing devices when my babies were just a few weeks old. This slanted foam seat was my savior the first eight months. In the beginning, my twins napped, relaxed and even slept in them (on the floor, buckled)  as they dealt with some pretty typical baby reflux issues. I would use them for dual bottle feeding, to anchor one baby while I bathed the other. I took them to other people’s homes as a place for the baby to sit while I tended to the other. Although they got recalled in December, around the time my twins turned three months, I happily continued to use them (with no issues!). At ten months, Jack and Mara wont sit in them for more than a minute or two, but man, they really were a lifesaver to me during this first year.

What has helped you parenting multiples during year one?

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One Negative Twin Comment Too Many

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My very first negative twin comment experience happened when I was pregnant, gleefully scanning an early ultrasound photo in the office copy room. One of my coworkers walked in as I was walking out, ultrasound picture in hand.

“What’s that?” He asked me, eyeing the photo.

“Uh … nothing …” I wasn’t quite three months along, and not ready to share this news with my coworkers.

“Ah – it looks like an ultrasound pic. Congrats. When are you due?”

“October!” I said, in a rush of excitement. “But I am actually having twins … so they will probably come earlier than that. The latest will probably be toward the end of September …”

He looked at me with such utter shock that my heart stopped. “Twins?!!! Are they natural? Oh boy. I feel sorry for you. That’s going to be awful. How will you guys afford it? Two babies?! You don’t even know what one newborn is like. Is Steven okay with this? Is he upset?” (Yes, this is the actual conversation. I kid you not.)

Granted, he had a young child who still hadn’t started sleeping through the night and a marriage that was on the rocks … maybe twins was overwhelming to him … but still. I walked back to my office with a heavy heart. It was almost as if he had shattered something beautiful and innocent that I had held dear in those first few weeks. We hadn’t experienced any negativity in the least  from family or friends, and my husband was over the moon. My coworker’s comment, I would soon find out, would be the first of many not-so-nice comments about twins.

I am always stopped short in my tracks when a stranger or acquaintance says something rude to me about twins. I don’t react right away. I don’t know how to react. I usually keep moving, and the whole time regret not saying something rude back. Regret not standing up for myself and my children.

In the beginning, it would shake me to the core. I would cry to my husband when I was home later, feeling sad and awful that people could be so insensitive, especially when talking about my children, who were completely innocent of the fact they were twins and sometimes perceived to the outside world as a burden. In the months after their birth, I quickly grew a thick skin, and the comments started to roll off of me. Instead of tearing me down, I let the rudeness slide right off of me, and I would keep on walking.

Perhaps you could say I recently reached a third stage of enlightenment: talking back.

It was during a weekly CVS trip. The woman at the counter that day was one who always waited on me. While she doted on Jack and Mara, she always had something a little rude to say about them. Today was no different.

“Ah! They are getting so big!” She says, peering into my stroller.

“I know … they are nine months old already. Its starting to fly by!”

“I hope to have a baby with my boyfriend … I guess you could say I’m a late bloomer … I’m 36 and I think my time might be up,” she says.

“No! A lot of women have babies a little later. My sister-in-law is almost 37 and has a baby. My boss started having kids when she was 40! It will all work out,” I tell her.

She leans in, as if sharing a secret with me. “Well, there are twins on my side of the family, and my boyfriend’s side … Oh My God! I can’t imagine!” She wrinkles her nose as if smelling something awful. “I would die! I’m sorry, but I think it would be awful.”

I say nothing and pay, walk my babies out of the store, and head for the car.

By the time I get to the car, I am fuming.

By the time I unload Jack and Mara, I am ready to go back in and say something to her.

I march back into the store, and go back to the pharmacy counter. She spots me, and walks over. “Hi – did you forget something?” She asks.

“Well, I just wanted to let you know … your comment was rude. When you are talking about twins to a mother of twins, you shouldn’t say they’re awful.” I pull my sunglasses off. “Its fine if you think that way, but it was really rude for you to say that to me.” I’m shaking.

The woman looks genuinely taken aback. “No! I didn’t mean it like that. I think if my boyfriend and I had twins it would be such a blessing …”

“No, you don’t,” I say, and walk out. Other customers had heard our exchange, and so had her coworker. I wonder what she is thinking.

My husband thinks I overreacted, and perhaps I did. Perhaps it was unfortunate that it was this comment (surely not the most horrible I have ever heard) that somehow moved me enough to speak up. Back to the event in the work copy room – I had muttered a few words back which to this day I can’t remember, and walked away, feeling embarrassed. It was this exchange, in the CVS, where I finally had enough.

I do think there is a larger issue at hand – people, when speaking this way about twins, don’t realize they are being rude. The woman in CVS had not tried to intentionally hurt my feelings; I know that. To her, the idea of twins is truly horrifying. And that’s fine. But, she didn’t – and others don’t – stop and think about how their comments come across. They sting.

While I am still trying to find my best approach to hurtful comments, I would love to know how others react. Should I just have walked away? Or did I do the right thing?

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Why I Need Other Twin Moms

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Hello! I’m Marisa, mother to nine month old boy/girl twins, Jack and Mara.  My husband Steven and I live in the Philadelphia suburbs. I’m also a new stay at home mom, leaving a job in corporate communications to raise the twins full-time. As a huge fan of this site, I’m thrilled and honored to start blogging as part of this wonderful community!

A few weeks ago, I was at a play date with an old coworker of mine and her sister-in-law, both mothers of singletons. We met at a local park. As always, I brought my twins in their double City Mini Baby Jogger while the other moms carried their babies. At one point, my friend suggested we sit on the grass and rolled out a blanket for the babies to sit on.

Of course, like clockwork, my extremely mobile twins started crawling at lightning speed in two different directions. Jack was headed for the base of a nearby tree, while Mara had somehow gotten under the swings. I rushed around, grabbing both babies, and carrying them in my arms (together) back to the blanket.

“Oh my God, Carrie,” lamented the sister-in-law to my friend, watching me with pity and awe. “Can you imagine doing that?”

I often leave events like these feeling a mix of emotions ranging from “they have no idea how much work it is for me” to “I really hate that they pity me for having two babies.” Even when I feel I have mastered the twin thing (at least at this stage!!) and could do it in my sleep, experiences like these always anchor me back down.

Enter my twin friends. While most of us didn’t have anything in common at first except for being mothers of multiples, these women have become some of my closest friends and confidants. Especially during the first few months, when the days were incredibly hard and you wondered how on earth you could survive on just an hour or two of consecutive sleep, having the support of other moms of multiples really saved my sanity. There were the early morning texts after a truly awful night, the emails about the challenges of pumping and tandem nursing. During my most difficult days, they would always reassure me with those four little magical words: “It Will Get Easier.”

Having other moms of multiples in your life is truly life changing. One of my closest friends, B, (an acquaintance until we both found out we were pregnant with twins, due just a few months apart) really set the course for me in terms of how I parent and see myself as a mother of multiples. Watching B mother her twins with her sense of humor, can-do attitude, and ability to quickly adapt to change has been instrumental.

During our first outing (a walk in the park) when Jack and Mara were about six weeks old, B mentioned she had gotten frozen yogurt the night before, and carried her four-month old twins with her in their infant seats, with no stroller, no help — NOTHING!  I was in awe. “Didn’t people stare at you, carrying two babies ALL ALONE!!?!” I asked. B shrugged. “I don’t know. And I don’t care.”

Back to the play groups. I met up with my “twin” play group at the park last week – moms of multiples I had met through my local multiples chapter. Spreading out my blanket next to the other moms, I immediately felt a sense of relief knowing these women also had two babies with them. While Jack was off trying to pull a toy out of another baby’s mouth, Mara was chomping on some grass, and these women didn’t even so much as blink.

When it was time to put the babies in the swings, I started to put Jack and Mara back in their stroller to walk over to the playground section of the park. Another mom called out to me –  “Don’t bother with the stroller! Just carry them! You know you carry them together at home!” She scooped up her twins and walked over to the playground. And I happily followed suit.

What have you learned from your relationships with other mothers of multiples?

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