About Sadia

Sadia (rhymes with Nadia) has been coordinating How Do You Do It? since late 2012. She is the divorced mother of 8-year-old monozygotic twins, M and J. She lives with them and their 3 cats in the Austin, TX suburbs and works full time as a business analyst. She retired her personal blog, Double the Fun, when the girls entered elementary school and also blogs at Adoption.com and Multicultural Mothering.

Twinfant Tuesday: Are You in Those Baby Photos?

My 8-year-olds love to hear stories about themselves as babies and revel in browsing through baby photos of themselves… even if they can’t tell who’s who. When I look through these photos, it takes me back to those days of round-the-clock nursing, sweet soft baby nuzzles, diapers, spit-up, and getting to know my daughters for the very first time.

These early photos of your babies are the ones you will hold close forever.

It feels like I blinked, and those tiny little people grew up.

One minute, your babies are newborn, and the next, they're on stage at their third ballet recital.

I can’t help but notice, though, how few of those hundreds of first year photos I’m in. Even though their dad deployed when they were 5 months old, he’s in far more photos than I. I was behind the camera.

Daddy got a lot more photos with the babies than Mommy did.

I regret it. I regret not having more photos of myself with my girls. No matter how un-photogenic I might have felt at the time, my daughters and I deserve to have our relationship, as well as theirs, captured in images. Those photos that I do have of the three of us together are so precious, regardless of how visually unappealing photographic proof of the challenges of new parenthood felt at the time.

Exhausted though the new mother of twins may feel, these photos are so precious a few years further into the motherhood adventure.First laughs, early baths, rolling over, sharing toys—I have photos or videos of it all. I’m in none of them, except as a disembodied voice. The formal family portraits are well and good, but I wish I’d taken more photos of us in our day-to-day lives, at that time where every day brought something new.

Formal family portraits aren't nearly as textured and imbued with memories as the casual snapshot.

This Twinfant Tuesday, I invite all you new MoMs to get in front of the camera. Don’t worry about the dark circles under your eyes, or the baby weight you haven’t shaken yet, or how unevenly your bra is filled in that moment before switching sides. Just get in the picture. You’ll regret it if you don’t, and I promise you that 10 years from now, you’ll see how great new motherhood really looked on you.

Need encouragement? Check out the Mommy and Me Monday posts at Really, Are You Serious? Let Krystyn and her adorable daughters inspire you to get into those photos that you’ll be looking back on in a few short years.

Mommy and Me Monday at Really, Are You Serious? Get inspired to get in the photo with your kids.Hosted by Krystyn

HDYDI Parenting Link Up #44

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Parenting Link Up Party

Welcome to the How Do You Do It? parenting link up party. This is your opportunity to share your posts with other parent bloggers and the followers of How Do You Do It?.

How do you do it? is a community of mothers of multiples, that is twins, triplets and higher order wombmates. We believe in supporting each other, in sharing our experiences and questions, in lasting friendships, and in encouragement. The link up is open to all our readers, whether or not you have multiples or are officially a parent. Here, we invite you can share your wisdom, your favorite posts, and your insights with our online community here at HDYDI.

Each week, we pick some of our favorite posts and feature them the following week on our site! Plus, we pin them on Pinterest, tweet them on Twitter, and share them on Google+ and Facebook! Get some more exposure for your great content, and don’t forget to check out the featured posts from last week’s link up!

Each HDYDI parenting link up party accepts new links from Monday morning through Friday at noon.

So tell us: How do you handle conception, pregnancy, preterm birth, birth in general, and postpartum recovery? How do you handle tantrums, diapering bills, stress, and potty training? How do you handle education and special needs? How do you balance the needs of several children with a marriage? How do you manage being a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or a single parent? And how do you find time for yourself?

How do you do it?!


Last week’s featured posts:

Thanks to all who linked up. We’re looking forward to seeing more from all of you this week!

Last week‘s most clicked post was from Parenting: Uncensored‘s Emmy about Disney World: Surviving with Small Children. A lot of these tips are great for any vacation, but as someone who took 5-year-olds to Disneyland, I can vouch for how great these ideas are!

Tips for making the most of Disneyland.

New linker Erin at No Bohns About It shared a wonderfully funny and painfully accurate description of what a working mom’s day off (or SAHM’s everyday) looks like. Next time you get the feeling that someone doesn’t think that what you do to care for your kids is somehow simple, share Erin’s post with them: What Do Moms Do on Their Days Off?

What do moms do on their "day off"? Parent, manage the house, and generally hold things together... all day.

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Rules for the How Do You Do It? Parenting Link Up Party:

  1. Follow and connect with HDYDI on the social media platforms that you use. Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Google+ | Blog Lovin
  2. Follow the How do you do it? Parenting Link Up Board on Pinterest where we pin every link shared!
  3. Link up to 3 great parenting posts below! Please, no recipes posts. Of course, link directly to a post, not your main page. Also, under “name” put the title of your post.
  4. Check out at least 3 other links! This is a party, so mingle!
  5. Leave an awesome comment for those you visit and tell them you found them at the HDYDI link party! And pin them/share the posts that you really like.
  6. Tweet: Add YOUR #parenting #advice to @hdydi's #linkup! Tell everyone #howdoyoudoit! http://ctt.ec/LRfWz+ #motherhood #momwisdomTweet about the link party, pin our link party badge, share it on Facebook, or otherwise promote this party. The more the party grows, the more exposure your posts will receive, the more fun you’ll have, and the more encouragement and ideas we’ll all receive!
  7. HDYDI Parenting Link Up PartyPut How Do You Do It?‘s Parenting Link Up badge on your site! Put it in your side bar, at the bottom of the post you shared, or on a party page.
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Twins and School: Together or Apart?

It’s kindergarten registration time for many of you in the US and Canada, and parents of multiples are hit with the age-old question: Together or apart?

Check out our full list of HDYDI posts on classroom placement for multiples.

Historically, many schools have had policies insisting that multiples be placed in separate classrooms. This has been changing in recent years. Likely due to the increase of multiples in the population, there has been increasing awareness of the variation between sets of multiples . Some twins do, in fact, perform better in separate classrooms, but some do better together, as Dr. Nancy Segal points out in her guest post “Separating Twins in School“.

A guide to deciding whether your #multiples will do better together or apart in the classroom. From three moms of twins whose kids have different needs.

We owe a debt of gratitude to parents who have been advocating for each set of siblings being treated individually. A number of laws have been passed around the world putting classroom placement decisions in the hands of parents, who know their children best.

My Twins Do Equally Well Together or Apart: Sadia

I thought very hard about whether my daughters should be in the same class in elementary school. I pushed aside all generalizations about what worked “for twins in general” and looked at my daughters as individuals in a relationship. They were used to being away from home for large stretches of the day, thanks to starting daycare at 11 weeks old. They were accustomed to classroom discipline. Starting kindergarten wasn’t going to be nearly as disruptive to their lives as for children with a stay-at-home parent.

M and J loved being together, but reports from their daycare program indicated that they were as likely to select different activities to participate in and friends to play with as they were to play together. They had the same friends, but different best friends. They loved being twins, but they also loved being “just J” and “just M”. Some kids had trouble telling them apart.

Given all this information, I elected to request separate classrooms for my daughters as they started kindergarten. We were late to enroll in school, thanks to last-minute Army orders, and the school asked if they could be placed in a single classroom, where they could make room. We stood firm. We wanted our daughters in separate classrooms to minimize comparison and to put focus on the girls’ individuality over their twinship.

They did just fine apart. Later in the year, when the school moved them into the same first grade class, they did fine together. When they went to first grade for real, they performed wonderfully, both socially and academically, apart. In the two years since, when they’ve been in the same classroom by their own request, they’ve done well too.

For my girls, it’s just a matter of preference. They’re equally successful being in a classroom together or classrooms apart. They just prefer to be together.

My Twins Are Better Off Together: Janna

We are so fortunate that our school district allows parents to choose whether or not twins should be in the same classroom. We chose to place our identical twin boys in the same classroom when they started kindergarten last September.

Our reasoning: we didn’t do daycare or preschool so this was the first time they were away from me and their dad, other than the occasional day with the grandparents. We didn’t want the first time away from mom to also be their first time away from each other. When at home or at the park or library story time, they had always gotten along really well, without fighting, and we hadn’t seen any negative competitive behavior between them. When they are with other children, they play both with each other and with other kids, so we were fairly confident there wouldn’t be any negative effects with them in the same class.

Also, based on logistics, having them in the same classroom is so much easier. I only send one email with information about absences, illnesses, questions, etc. I can volunteer in just one classroom. They get invited to the same birthday parties and playdates. We don’t have to deal with jealousy because one twin’s class got extra recess that day or other such things (that are a very big deal to a five year old).

And finally, (and really what probably affected our decision the most) we have friends who are 30 year old identical twins. They both agreed that being separated in elementary school made them anxious and miserable. One twin said he specifically remembers being worried while sitting in first grade, because he couldn’t physically see his brother. Because our boys are also identical and very traditionally close, this conversation definitely impacted our decision.

The result: our boys have thrived being in the same classroom. They are both doing well academically, socially, behaviorally and physically. Their report cards look the exact same (which we’ve also noticed at home — they just learn things at the same time and have the same abilities so far). They love school and they love being in the same class. According to their teacher, there are no negative effects having our boys in the same class. They rarely choose each other for their partner and sit at different tables, but they do play together at recess, along with their other friends.  She sees them occasionally looking for their twin and then going back to work during the day. Their teacher was able to tell them apart (based on head shape and a small red mark on one twin) after one week of school. Their classmates definitely have more trouble telling them apart, but so far it hasn’t bothered my boys to casually correct their friends.

This year, based on the recommendation of their teacher, logistics and my boys’ own opinions when asked, we’ve decided to keep them in the same classroom next year for first grade. Would they be okay separated? Probably, yes. But, it’s easier for me if they’re in the same classroom; they enjoy being in the same classroom; it’s easy enough for their teacher to tell them apart; and there are just no negative side effects having these two identical twin boys in the same classroom, so until there are, we’ll continue placing them in the same classroom.

My Boy Twin Needs Togetherness. My Girl Twin Is Okay Apart: Beth

When the idea for this post started, and I decided to participate, I was on the side of twins should be together.  My boy/girl twins were 21 months old and were never apart until he got sick and had to stay home from day care one day.  By then he was fine and spent the day asking for his sister.  Now a bit of background here.  She is a firecracker.  She is independent, headstrong, stubborn, and has a stare of doom that will freak you out.  He is a cuddle bug, and has been since day one.  He is older and bigger, but she has achieved most milestones first, including walking.  Once she started walking, she became even more independent.  At 21 months he is was just starting to walk and was still very unsteady.

My twins were in the baby room at day care.  The next room up is for 2-3 year olds, but most kids move in at about 16 months. At the time of writing this post, my kids were 21 months.  And Miss Independent with the stare of doom was so ready to move up.  So we did it.

And she thrived.  Every morning in the new room was fabulous. She barely waved goodbye to me before going off to check everything out.  She was happy.  So clearly, twins should be separated.

But here is the thing.  My boy was not happy.  Every drop off at day care was a heartbreaking mess.  Whether we dropped her off first or him, he was clinging to me and sobbing for dear life.  I could hear him after I left the room.  (OK, I could hear him crying for hours, which logically is not possible, but moms have that kind of super power.)  Day care promised me that he calmed down each day and did fine, but you know when you just have a feeling….

So I started pushing them to move him up too. But he was not walking well enough for that room.  Fast forward, we came up with a plan…a brilliant plan!  Both babies get dropped off in the baby room.  She (thankfully) was fine with it.  He was fabulous with it. But it did bring up face to face with the idea of separation.

The day care kept telling me that twins need to be separated.  That he was fine, eventually.  And that may be the case.  But not yet.  At 21 months old he was going through some things and needs his sister.  At 21 months old, they were still babies and while she seems to understand and appreciate (and at times accept) logic, he wasn’t there yet.  They slept in separate cribs, sat in separate car seats, and they spend time apart 2 days a week in school (while he was transitioning).  But in school he needs his sister, and that is good enough for me. She helps him walk, she gives him more confidence, and he thrived during this transition.

My twins need to be together in school, at least for now.  Check back with me in 2 years when we need to talk about Kindergarten classes.

What are you thinking? Do you think your kids will be better off together or apart in school?

What Do You Like About Yourself?

What do you like best about yourself?

My 8-year-old daughters decided to take a quiz, designed for friends, to determine how well they knew each other. They had to predict what the other’s answer would be to a set of questions. The questions were mostly straightforward: favourite movie; famous person you’d like to be for a day; favourite food.

My daughters did reasonably well at guessing each other’s answers. J had changed her favourite song since the day before, so M got that one wrong. J completely missed M’s favourite movie until M set her right by humming the theme to Superman. Yes, the Christopher Reeve one from 1978.

The question that really got me thinking was this one: What do you like most about yourself? J’s answer was that she is trustworthy. M’s answer was that she was a twin.

I confess to being surprised by M’s response. I’m certainly aware that her relationship with her sister is central to her life and sense of self, but I wouldn’t have predicted that she would choose that as what she likes most about herself. I asked her what she meant, and she told me that she loves having someone who is always there, who loves her, and whom she can love. Rather than responding with a personal trait, she was responding with what she likes best about her life.

The twin relationship, something I have been trying to wrap my head around for the past 9 years, is that simple to my wise 8-year-old. She has love.

Take a moment to ask yourself what you like most about yourself.

HDYDI Parenting Link Up #43

Skip to this week’s links | Skip to featured posts | Skip to linkup rules

Parenting Link Up Party

Welcome to the How Do You Do It? parenting link up party. This is your opportunity to share your posts with other parent bloggers and the followers of How Do You Do It?.

How do you do it? is a community of mothers of multiples, that is twins, triplets and higher order wombmates. We believe in supporting each other, in sharing our experiences and questions, in lasting friendships, and in encouragement. The link up is open to all our readers, whether or not you have multiples or are officially a parent. Here, we invite you can share your wisdom, your favorite posts, and your insights with our online community here at HDYDI.

Each week, we pick some of our favorite posts and feature them the following week on our site! Plus, we pin them on Pinterest, tweet them on Twitter, and share them on Google+ and Facebook! Get some more exposure for your great content, and don’t forget to check out the featured posts from last week’s link up!

Each HDYDI parenting link up party accepts new links from Monday morning through Friday at noon.

So tell us: How do you handle conception, pregnancy, preterm birth, birth in general, and postpartum recovery? How do you handle tantrums, diapering bills, stress, and potty training? How do you handle education and special needs? How do you balance the needs of several children with a marriage? How do you manage being a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or a single parent? And how do you find time for yourself?

How do you do it?!


Last week’s featured posts:

Thanks to all who linked up. We’re looking forward to seeing more from all of you this week!

Last week‘s most clicked post was from My Big Fat Happy Life. Paris talks about how she connects with her 5-year-old after a full day at work. I highly recommend reading Connecting with Your Child at the End of the Day, whether you work outside the home or not.

Connecting with you child at the end of the day.

Katelyn Fagan, former HDYDI contributor and blogger at What’s Up Fagans?, wrote a wonderful piece on parents’ tolerance of each other. Check out Yes, You Are a Bad Mom. But So Am I.

We're all bad moms in someone's eyes. Keep that in mind before you judge.

Twin Mummy Yummy‘s Nicola wrote the sweetest note to her 22-month-old identical boys. Read Dear Harry and Matthew… 22 months old. Perhaps she’ll inspire you to write a letter to capture this moment in your kids’ lives too.

A sweet letter to 22-month-old identical twin boys from their mom, capturing exactly what they're like at this age.

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Rules for the How Do You Do It? Parenting Link Up Party:

  1. Follow and connect with HDYDI on the social media platforms that you use. Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Google+ | Blog Lovin
  2. Follow the How do you do it? Parenting Link Up Board on Pinterest where we pin every link shared!
  3. Link up to 3 great parenting posts below! Please, no recipes posts. Of course, link directly to a post, not your main page. Also, under “name” put the title of your post.
  4. Check out at least 3 other links! This is a party, so mingle!
  5. Leave an awesome comment for those you visit and tell them you found them at the HDYDI link party! And pin them/share the posts that you really like.
  6. Tweet: Add YOUR #parenting #advice to @hdydi's #linkup! Tell everyone #howdoyoudoit! http://ctt.ec/LRfWz+ #motherhood #momwisdomTweet about the link party, pin our link party badge, share it on Facebook, or otherwise promote this party. The more the party grows, the more exposure your posts will receive, the more fun you’ll have, and the more encouragement and ideas we’ll all receive!
  7. HDYDI Parenting Link Up PartyPut How Do You Do It?‘s Parenting Link Up badge on your site! Put it in your side bar, at the bottom of the post you shared, or on a party page.
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Foodie Friday: Shaken Out of the Rut

We have a pretty diverse diet around here, but I’ve felt like I’ve been revolving around the same tried and true meals for the last while: spaghetti and meatballs, rice and beans, hummus and chips, tacos, pancakes and sausage, macaroni and cheese, soups, all with fresh fruit or salad on the side. These are all balanced and healthy meals, quick to make and minimally processed (except the sausage), but I hadn’t felt the joy of creating something new for quite a while.

Then, a few weeks ago, my 8 year old J served herself some ice cream for dessert, with my permission. The next morning, I discovered that the freezer hadn’t quite been closed all the way. Nothing was warm, but everything was in some state of being defrosted. I would need to cook everything in the freezer.

There were pepperoni and chicken hot dogs in there, and shrimp. Together with rice, tomatoes, and spices I had on hand, I made a fine jambalaya. That was lunch at work for me for a week! The no-longer-frozen veggies were cooked up with fresh sauteed onion and garlic, cumin and turmeric into a rather nice curry. The squishy strawberries went into a pie. The spinach was stirred into my from-scratch spaghetti sauce. The thawed homemade chicken stock formed the base for a nice bean, vegetable and noodle soup.

The only thing I couldn’t save, other than the guilty ice cream, was the fish sticks. I tried to invent a hash brown and fish stick casserole, with cream of chicken soup, milk, and onions mixed in with the potatoes. The potatoes were delicious, but the texture of thawed fish sticks is beyond salvage.

My daughters liked every single thing I served them, with the exception of the curried vegetables. I didn’t even bother trying the fish stick concoction on them. Through what could have been a disaster, I also was reminded of how much I enjoy cooking… which is a good thing, since rescuing the contents of my freezer took a full Saturday!

Children Are Not Possessions

“The state doesn’t own your children,” Rand Paul says at 2 mins 5 seconds in the video below. “Parents own the children….” Does that description of children as being owned bother you as much as it does me? I’ve been pondering it since I caught it on the radio a couple of weeks ago.

I do not own my children. I guide them, love them, care for them, teach them, and provide for them. I do not own them. They love me, listen to me, get frustrated by me, depend on me, and trust me, but they do not own me either.

The things that I own, my possessions, are for me to treat as I wish. I can choose to treasure them, hoard them, repurpose them, and discard them. My house, my books, my dishes, and my photographs – these are things that I own. There is no such degree of choice when it comes to children. I am duty-bound to do for them what is in their best interest, not mine.

I’ve never thought of children as property. However, the realization that there are people who do think of their children in those terms helps explain some of the previously inexplicable parenting I’ve witnessed.

I believe that a better way to conceive of parenthood is as a managerial arrangement, something akin to the property manager who took care of the house I owned when I moved away and rented it out. I am entrusted with the care of these people on behalf of the larger world they are preparing to join. Parents are the stewards of humanity’s future, and the responsibility is a huge one, filled with joy, but certainly not intended to benefit the parent.

What is the metaphor that you use to make sense of parenting?

We do not own our children.

I’ve reacted to the California measles outbreak and recent discussions of parental approaches to vaccination as I usually do. I don’t get into debates. I recognize that parents who choose to vaccinate and those who do not will rarely be able to convince each other of the validity of their positions. If someone believes that getting a vaccine is more risky than skipping it, hearing arguments to the contrary from me will make no difference. My daughters get all their vaccinations because I have lived in Bangladesh, the country where smallpox was last seen two years before my birth. I’ve met smallpox survivors and seen how bad whooping cough and measles can be. I’ve looked into the risks posed by vaccinations and deemed them to be rare or minor enough that I am unconcerned. I’ve also nursed one of my fully vaccinated children through whooping cough, and been thankful that her life was never at risk due to the partial protection achieved by the vaccine, despite the lack of herd immunity presented by the children in our community. I know that there are those who take my J’s bout of pertussis as proof that vaccines are worthless. Let’s just agree to disagree.

How do you do it? Parenting Link Up #42

Skip to this week’s links | Skip to featured posts | Skip to linkup rules

Parenting Link Up Party

Welcome to the How Do You Do It? parenting link up party. This is your opportunity to share your posts with other parent bloggers and the followers of How Do You Do It?.

How do you do it? is a community of mothers of multiples, that is twins, triplets and higher order wombmates. We believe in supporting each other, in sharing our experiences and questions, in lasting friendships, and in encouragement. The link up is open to all our readers, whether or not you have multiples or are officially a parent. Here, we invite you can share your wisdom, your favorite posts, and your insights with our online community here at HDYDI.

Each week, we pick some of our favorite posts and feature them the following week on our site! Plus, we pin them on Pinterest, tweet them on Twitter, and share them on Google+ and Facebook! Get some more exposure for your great content, and don’t forget to check out the featured posts from last week’s link up!

Each HDYDI parenting link up party accepts new links from Monday morning through Friday at noon.

So tell us: How do you handle conception, pregnancy, preterm birth, birth in general, and postpartum recovery? How do you handle tantrums, diapering bills, stress, and potty training? How do you handle education and special needs? How do you balance the needs of several children with a marriage? How do you manage being a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or a single parent? And how do you find time for yourself?

How do you do it?!


Last week’s featured posts:

Thanks to all who linked up, especially given the long breaks between the last few linkups.

Last week’s most clicked post was from Elizabeth Caldwell at Organized Chaos. Once again, this teacher and mom brings us practical solutions for making life a little more manageable. She shares her list of 10 Foods for Busy Moms to Keep On Hand. These are those things keep you from panicking when the meal you’d planned for the day falls apart… or, if you’re like me, you have 15 minutes to decide what to make and make it!

10 foods for busy moms to keep on hand

I loved the list of pumping bag essentials Julie at Velvet Rose put together. I felt so uncertain when I first returned to work as a sleep-deprived new mother, and the details of pumping didn’t come to me naturally. I was fortunate to have a boss who was also breastfeeding at the time, but for those of you without my good fortune, listen to Julie!

What to pack in your pumping bag

Mandy at Letters to Amelia wrote about the use of “No” in parenting. She titles it “NO…the new four letter word.” How do you feel about the arguments that “no” is a big no-no? Check out Mandy’s thoughts on the subject. She lands where I do: good parenting is good parenting regardless of current trends.

proverbs 22.6

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Rules for the How Do You Do It? Parenting Link Up Party:

  1. Follow and connect with HDYDI on the social media platforms that you use. Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Google+ | Blog Lovin
  2. Follow the How do you do it? Parenting Link Up Board on Pinterest where we pin every link shared!
  3. Link up to 3 great parenting posts below! Please, no recipes posts. Of course, link directly to a post, not your main page. Also, under “name” put the title of your post.
  4. Check out at least 3 other links! This is a party, so mingle!
  5. Leave an awesome comment for those you visit and tell them you found them at the HDYDI link party! And pin them/share the posts that you really like.
  6. Tweet: Add YOUR #parenting #advice to @hdydi's #linkup! Tell everyone #howdoyoudoit! http://ctt.ec/LRfWz+ #motherhood #momwisdomTweet about the link party, pin our link party badge, share it on Facebook, or otherwise promote this party. The more the party grows, the more exposure your posts will receive, the more fun you’ll have, and the more encouragement and ideas we’ll all receive!
  7. HDYDI Parenting Link Up PartyPut How Do You Do It?‘s Parenting Link Up badge on your site! Put it in your side bar, at the bottom of the post you shared, or on a party page.
    <a href="http://hdydi.com/features/hdydi-parenting-link-party/"><img alt="How Do You Do It? Parenting Link Up Party" src="http://hdydi.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/hdydi-link-party-9-.jpg" height="125" width="125"></a>


How do you do it? Parenting Link Up #41

Skip to this week’s links | Skip to featured posts | Skip to linkup rules

Parenting Link Up Party

Welcome to the How Do You Do It? parenting link up party. This is your opportunity to share your posts with other parent bloggers and the followers of How Do You Do It?.

How do you do it? is a community of mothers of multiples, that is twins, triplets and higher order wombmates. We believe in supporting each other, in sharing our experiences and questions, in lasting friendships, and in encouragement. The link up is open to all our readers, whether or not you have multiples or are officially a parent. Here, we invite you can share your wisdom, your favorite posts, and your insights with our online community here at HDYDI.

Each week, we pick some of our favorite posts and feature them the following week on our site! Plus, we pin them on Pinterest, tweet them on Twitter, and share them on Google+ and Facebook! Get some more exposure for your great content, and don’t forget to check out the featured posts from last week’s link up!

Each HDYDI parenting link up party accepts new links from Monday morning through Friday at noon.

So tell us: How do you handle conception, pregnancy, preterm birth, birth in general, and postpartum recovery? How do you handle tantrums, diapering bills, stress, and potty training? How do you handle education and special needs? How do you balance the needs of several children with a marriage? How do you manage being a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or a single parent? And how do you find time for yourself?

How do you do it?!


December’s featured posts:

Thanks to all who linked up, especially given the long breaks between the last few linkups.

The last link-up’s most clicked post was from Emmy at Parenting: Uncensored. She shared her advice for surviving – and truly enjoying – Disney World with small children. Her boys were both under 6 during their visit, and they had the time of their lives. She covers everything, from making the decision to go, to how to juggle the kids when one is too young for a ride, to dealing with post-vacation withdrawal.

Surviving Disney World with Small Children from Parenting: Uncensored

The post I found myself going back to repeatedly was Katy’s one on self care for working moms, on her blog Chaos and Kiddos. As she puts it, “Focused mainly on carrying my family through the days, I forget that taking the time to focus on myself every once in awhile ultimately makes me a better parent.” Check out the rest of her post.

Katy boudoir pic

Amber, one of the four fantastic Lou Lou Girls, wrote a quick and easy guide to putting together busy bags to occupy your little ones. Busy bags are prepped collections of new-to-kiddo toys that can help you achieve relative quiet in a hurry. I highly recommend that you give this post a peek.

Busy bags are the secret to keeping your kids quiet for a while. From Lou Lou Girls.

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How Do You Do It? Featured Post

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Rules for the How Do You Do It? Parenting Link Up Party:

  1. Follow and connect with HDYDI on the social media platforms that you use. Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Google+ | Blog Lovin
  2. Follow the How do you do it? Parenting Link Up Board on Pinterest where we pin every link shared!
  3. Link up to 3 great parenting posts below! Please, no recipes posts. Of course, link directly to a post, not your main page. Also, under “name” put the title of your post.
  4. Check out at least 3 other links! This is a party, so mingle!
  5. Leave an awesome comment for those you visit and tell them you found them at the HDYDI link party! And pin them/share the posts that you really like.
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Working Mom, or rather, When “Working” Meets “Mom”

Here’s my perspective on being a single mother with a career I love: My time with my daughters is a vacation from work. My time at work is a vacation from my kids. I’m perpetually on vacation. Yes, I’m frequently tired and the need to constantly prioritize means that many lower priorities don’t make the cut.

Overall, though, I love being a working mom. It’s just how I’m built.

For the most part, I try to keep mommy-Sadia and professional-Sadia separate. In fact, when pondering my career trajectory, I came to the realization that I didn’t want to go down the managerial track precisely because “boss” is such a parental role. I spend my time at home laying out behavioural expectations, following up on progress, and enforcing peace. I don’t need to be doing that at work too.

That said, my work environment is extremely family-friendly. Actually, it’s just all around friendly. My coworkers and I hang out outside work. We exchange parenting tips. We know each other’s kids and pets and in-laws. My daughters, J and M, think of many of my coworkers as family.

It still surprises me, though, when I notice aspects of my job entering my parenting. The other day, I was trying to help M and J make peace after a misunderstanding. J had stomped off to the shower, understandably upset, in my opinion. I sat down with M to get her side of the story.

M: Am I in trouble?
Mommy: No, of course n… Actually, what do you mean by “in trouble”?
M: It means I hurt somebody’s feelings.
Mommy: In that case, yes. You hurt J’s feelings. I mean something different when I say, “in trouble.” To me, it means that someone’s about to get a punishment,
M: (starting to cry) I’m going to get a punishment?
Mommy: No, not at all. I just thought you were asking if you were getting a punishment, and that’s why I said no.

Then it struck me. I’m a business analyst. Much of what I do all day is get people to shared understanding, often by investigating assumptions and clarifying terms. Despite my own assumption that mommy-Sadia and professional-Sadia were distinct, I use my professional skills in my parenting.

How does your career or education impact your parenting?