Category Archives: Infants

Mealtime at Our House

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Ah, starting solids. The wonder of discovering different tastes and textures, of food spooned into the mouth instead of sucked. A rite of passage.

I’d like to invite you into our house, for this wonderful event that is mealtime. Please come share in the excitement. Here is a scene from dinnertime any day:

Ask Toddler what she would like to have for dinner. Answer is invariably chocolate milk or candy or ice cream. Scratch that, prepare for Toddler some pasta or chicken nuggets, foods she will at least attempt to eat.

While food is cooking, pick up Baby Girl (or Boy) from whatever she was doing, usually jumperoo or superset or rolling around on the floormats. Take her to her highchair, buckle her in. Pick up Baby Boy from whatever he was doing, take him to his highchair, buckle him in. If they are already hungry or otherwise in a bad mood, this can be a tricky endeavor as they will not go in without complaint.

Prepare oatmeal/something-pureed/breastmilk mixture while Toddler’s food is finishing up. Ask Toddler to get in her highchair. Ask again, and again, and usually again. Toddler turns off her iPad and climbs in. Serve her food, tuck on her bib, pour her drink.

If babies are not screaming yet, putting on their bibs will definitely do the trick. I learned long ago that the molded plastic bibs are much better at catching food than regular cloth ones, so we go with these, but they do not like getting them put on. In fact, Baby Boy requires the plastic AND the cloth, because he does not lean forward enough to prevent food from dribbling into his neck and down his clothes. So I double layer him while he struggles. And cries. (Anyone ever wondered how tiny babies can have such freakishly strong arms and legs?)

Now I’m ready to start the feeding part, and I’m already tired. Good thing Toddler is settled in her highchair eating by herself. But wait, “Mama, it’s hot! Blow on it!”

Finally. Spoon some lumpy goo into Baby Girl’s mouth. She scrunches up her face, pushes most of it back out with her tongue. Try to scoop it all up and push it back in her now-closed mouth with the spoon before it falls in her bib. Let her savor that for a bit.

Baby Boy’s turn. First pull his head out of his bib because he is completely hunched over trying to eat it. Spoon some goo into his mouth. Immediately he will stick the index and middle finger of his left hand in his mouth to suck on them. Yup, he has not yet figured out how to eat without sucking. So watch as the majority of the food just scooped in runs into his hand and goes in the bib, as well as down his arm and onto the highchair, his clothes, whatever else is around. Be careful, he gets frustrated and will fling his arms about if he doesn’t get enough food fast. But he makes that pretty tough as those fingers need to get pulled out of the way first!

Meanwhile, Baby Girl is grunting for her next bite. Very ladylike deep gorilla grunts. Quickly, or she will start eating her bib as well. The next spoonful usually does better after she’s adjusted to the taste. Happily, I quickly spoon a few more in. Oh, wait. Sneeze! Sneeze. Sneeze again. I am sprayed with projectile green/orange/yellow goo.

As I clean Baby Boy’s arm and highchair, wipe myself and Baby Girl from her sneeze aftermath, Toddler is yelling, “More orange juice Mama!” I ask her to wait and hope that she can until I am finished with her siblings, but she is persistent so I have to refill/wipe-up/change-out whatever it is she is yelling about before going back to the surely-screaming-by-now babies.

And funny how much Baby Boy can sound like a pterodactyl. Except it’s not funny at the moment, because his screaming is making his sister cry. And his other sister is now yelling “All done! Get me out!”

I feel a headache coming on. And baths are next. Not funny at all.

lunchldyd is mom to a daughter just-turned-three, and solids-eating (sort of) 6 mo b/g twins

Hard Days

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I read some of the other quad momma bloggers out there, and they are truly super moms.

Or they lie.

Or they don’t blog about the hard stuff.

OK, that’s not entirely true either, over at Littlest Lesnaus, Krista had a blog not to long ago about struggling and finding life difficult.

This past week we had two doctor’s appointments, a PT appointment for Alyssa, and Infant Development twice. School break was coming up for our 4 year old. I haven’t been sleeping well at all.  Not because of babies. I just can’t sleep. Greg had a rough day, then I had a major meltdown.

Twice.

No, maybe three times.

OK, if we’re being honest, perhaps it was a lot of times.

Yup.  It has finally hit us.

We have many visitors in our home… yet life is lonely.

If I hear “oh I don’t know how you do it”, “I couldn’t do it”, “wow you’re organized”, “your babies are always sleeping”, “everything is under control”, I think I might just lose it.

Maybe I have lost it already.

This week maybe I’ll trash the house and screw the schedule.

Friday was a terrible terrible day.  So I checked out of my life Saturday afternoon. I really did.  I left home, and said someone else can deal with it.

And you know, sometimes I wonder if Gods sense of humor is messed up.

Really messed up. No joke this truly happened:

Friday afternoon my sister-in-law said that I could go to their place in Newmarket as they were coming to visit anyways so I’d have the place to myself. Awesome. Friday night, all four babies got sick. No big deal, lots of people around to help.

Saturday morning I got sick.

No big deal, right?

Saturday afternoon, I drove to Newmarket, spenr lots of time in tears, hating the world, not understanding life, but I told myself to buck up and get it together. Sunday morning I thought I’d go out for breakfast.  Car wouldn’t start.

No big deal, I’ll use sister in laws car and deal with mine later.

Drive to Timmie’s, and roll down window. I get my breakfast. Window won’t go back up.  Awesome.

No big deal.  After about a half hour the stupid thing went back up.

Go back to parking lot, then decide, “You know, maybe church is where I should be.”

Drive to church. The pastor speaks, and his first point was how God is the perfect parent.  Are you kidding me?!  Go back to house, call CAA, dude #1 couldn’t get it to start, he calls dude #2 who gets it to start and says, “You better drive straight home. Who knows if it will start again before you get there?” How relaxing is that?

The stupid thing is, the whole time I was away I didn’t read, I didn’t catch up on anything, I didn’t shop.

I laid around and worried about home.  About life.  About my oldest daughter.  About not spending time with each kid.  About the friends that used to call. About the family who doesn’t come. About the people who say “call me anytime” but never answer. About a church that I no longer feel a part of.  About the people I thought were friends that have ignored us completely. About the friends that I’ve helped when they’ve needed it. About the big things. About the stupid little things.

Worked myself into quite the downward spiral.

The more I thought about it the worse it became.

I know there people who care. I do.

I am SO thankful for our parents.

I am beyond grateful for our regular helpers. For the 13 members of the community. For the 6 people from our church.  I am thankful for the occasional helpers who come when they can. For my faithful meal makers. For my fellow mommas who do find time to check in. For our nanny who has been incredibly flexible and loves our kids like her own.

It’s just so flippin’ hard.
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Since writing this post back in March, some things have changed:

  • I have stopped pumping every 3 hours, and have gone to just 5 times a day.
  • I have scheduled life so that at least once a week I have some time to myself.
  • I have admitted that perhaps I cannot handle everything on my own.  In March, I quietly began taking the prescription Zoloft. As much as I hate to admit it, it has helped. While I don’t think I was depressed, I definitely could not find the “off” switch. I would lay awake worrying about things and stressing over daily unimportant things. I would put on a face and say that everything was OK, even though it wasn’t.  I had begun to read more into things people said, and that really wasn’t like me.

So all that to say, “Life is hard, but sometimes we make things harder on ourselves.”

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MrsLubby is a mommy of four cute 6 month old fraternal quadruplets and a 4 1/2 year old, trying desperately to find a balance.

If Youth is Wasted on the Young…

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A dear friend who lives far away just had a baby. She’s been sending me pictures and I can’t help but feel nostalgic! What a curled-up, mewling, soft and sweet little dumpling! And somewhere, deep inside, I feel the irrational stirrings of baby-fever, like rattling an unopened present. You may look at me and tell me I’m crazy. After all, my babies are ONLY 7 MONTHS OLD! Just a few weeks ago I was telling myself not to look forward more than fifteen minutes in order to avoid an all-consuming panic attack! I haven’t slept in eight months!

So, you’d probably be right. But it’s not like I want a baby now. Maybe in a few years–I just can’t imagine never having another one.

But then I think about what it would actually be like. The twins would be running around and would need supervision. I wouldn’t be able to lounge around like I did with my first pregnancy. “Bedtime” with a newborn and twin toddlers? An oxymoron, surely! Sometimes I think the only reason I’m getting by now is because the twins are my number one and only priority–everything else gets thrown out the window and I’m moving too fast to look back. This wouldn’t be possible if I were to add another baby into the mix.

As hard as those first few months were (and they were, very!), I can’t help but wonder if they were actually easier than another pregnancy, another birth, another baby would be. And so, like they say youth is wasted on the young, my first pregnancy and newborn experience was wasted on my childless-self. I’ll never get another chance to rest leisurely with my feet up and complain about my swollen ankles while watching every episode of Breaking Bad and Teen Mom on Netflix as I wait for the baby. I’ll never be able to drop everything I’m doing to feed my newborn and have nothing more important to do, because I will have two other children who need me, too. Not to mention a husband!

I think being confronted with another newborn, the questions of a new mom, the pictures of the happy family–all the details, good and bad, that go into the “fourth trimester” have just been making me, like I said earlier, nostalgic. I try to think back on the day the babies were born and to my horror, I can’t seem to remember much. The whole first three months are a big blur. What a stereotypical thing for a new mom to say, but it’s true.

Project Procrastinot Twins

They grow up so fast! *sniff*

Whether I blame the grogginess on my medicated recovery from the C-section, the sleep deprivation, or yet another surgery and recovery at 6 weeks postpartum, it doesn’t really matter. I feel incredibly guilty for not remembering every single detail of the first months of my twins’ lives. Maybe the romance of a new baby (at least the idea of one) is my way of making up for the memories I’ve fumbled around. Maybe what I really want is not another baby, but just time with my babies back. I love where they are right now–laughing a lot, interacting more and more, but there’s something to be said for those precious new baby moments!

If you had twins first, how did your next pregnancy compare?

Mercedes is a SAHM to her 7 month old b/g twins in Aberdeen, Scotland.  While she daydreams about adding another baby to the family one day, her husband fears another unexpected “handful”! For more stories and pictures of an expat life with twins, visit her blog Project Procrastinot. 

One Womb, One Space Bubble

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People always ask if my 7-month-old boys are aware of each other. I think they are imagining cute conversations, sharing toys, or indications that they miss each other when apart. (None of that happens.) In reality, I’m struck by how UNaware they are of each other – they occupy the same space without appearing to know it’s another person there beside them.

Granted, seven-month-old folks don’t have much of a sense of personal space to begin with, but my boys seem to have no barrier between themselves whatsoever. Like little magnets, they tend to gravitate into the same 6 inches of space. They’ll snatch toys, gnaw on the same thing at the same time, climb over each other, and chew on each other’s hands and feet. They are really interested in faces, and will grab ears, eyes, and noses.

Sometimes it’s really sweet. M is getting some fuzzy hair on top, which R loves to stroke. Other times I cringe at the force they use, but the recipient doesn’t seem to mind or even notice. And then there are the times when R grabs M’s face in order to pull up to standing, or M kicks R in the head while I’m trying to give them both a bottle. The resulting cry is indignant, hurt, or angry. I’m just starting to see a bit of jealousy when one is closer to me – the other starts to fuss and scramble up Mount Mom and before you know it, I’m on the bottom of the sobbing dog pile.

When I see these interactions, I feel like I’m looking into the future. Siblings generally have very physical relationships; I do with my brother and sister. Two active boys, equally matched in size and energy, are sure to even more so. How do I want to respond to their physical interactions when they are toddlers, young children, teens? How can I encourage them to be gentle and respectful when they play?

Like all things twinny, it’s an added dimension to navigate. I’ve got to attend to the sibling relationship at the same time as I figure out how to be a mom. How much should I intervene vs let them work it out for themselves? Will they be just like any brothers, who happen to be on par developmentally? Or is there something to growing in the same womb that makes them comfortable sharing space in a way that I just can’t understand?

I’d like to implement a policy of “if it doesn’t bother them, it shouldn’t bother me” (unless it’s clearly dangerous, of course). If they are content to suck on each other’s fingers (ew. ew ew ew), then I let them. And honestly, most of their interactions fall into this category. But when it does hurt, I redirect the offender to another location or a toy and comfort the hurt one. Later on, redirection will be replaced by warnings, time outs, and apologies – and lots of practice communicating their own boundaries. Of course, making sure they do have space (even when they don’t know how to ask for it) is an important part of getting along for all siblings.

There are all my “best-laid plans!” I’m sure I’ll get a few curveballs from my guys anyway. :) How do you involve yourself in your twins’ interactions?

Celebrating Small Victories

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Day 10 of sleep training twins. As babies are simultaneously napping after being bathed and fed (and myself showered), I am typing this post. It helps greatly that the grandparents came to take Toddler for the afternoon, but things are looking up.

My journey began last Sunday night, when I finally decided to separate my babies for sleeping, after having enough of the craziness. Since then, things have slowly been improving. Baby Boy had been suffering the most. Because his sister kept waking him up by kicking and screeching during nights he was capable of and wanted to sleep through, putting him in his own room finally allowed him to get some unbroken sleep and has improved his mood/naps dramatically during the day. Baby Girl sleeps in the co-sleeper with me, because she still has not been able to go through the night without a peep as her brother has.

But… baby steps. Though I feel bad that I haven’t been able to fully figure out how to make her happy, things are starting to turn around for her. Instead of waking multiple times a night, she is down to just once. I still don’t really know for sure why she’s waking up, because I’m both weaning her from the pacifier as well as that 4am feed.

My new theory is that Baby Girl actually needs more sleep than she’s getting, even though she never acts sleepy until it’s too late and she’s already hit her second wind. She probably needs even MORE sleep than her brother, not less– which is confusing because he’s getting about 17 hours a day, already on the high end for a 4mo. We’ve always been working under the assumption that she not only needs less sleep but she’s also a night owl. Whereas her sister is in bed by 7:30 and her brother is asleep by 8/8:30, she was often very happy to stay up with us kicking, cackling, and playing until 10. And then she would crash and there would be up to an hour of screaming before she would finally fall asleep. Then, she’d sleep in for the morning after waking up a couple of times to cry and possibly eat during the night. Trying to coordinate both babies under that assumption was just plain not working. Their schedules did not match any time of the day, so it was extremely hard to keep track of who needed to sleep or eat, resulting in both babies suffering from the a-little-bit-here-and-there sleeps and feeds.

The problem is, and has been, that she just loves to play. Even when she is visibly tired, if we make eye contact with her and smile, she will smile back and sleep is put off for a while. If Toddler accidentally opens her door while she is napping, she will awake and not be able to put herself back to sleep. If there is something going on (and when is there not with a 3yo around?) while she is eating, she will stop and crane her neck to see. I can no longer pump in my bedroom because she was waking up every time I did. I have even moved to the other side of the bed at night, because I have a feeling she can sense me nearby, or at least, my movements throughout the night were waking her up.

I seem to be describing a fussy child, but really she’s not. When she gets a good nap, she wakes up happy. Doesn’t cry, is very interactive, full of smiles for everyone. She’s ahead of her brother with gross motor and fine motor skills. Her sense of humor is already emerging as she will laugh if someone else is laughing, and her sister’s antics always make her giggle. She is definitely not like the other two. Baby Boy is a carbon copy of his older sister, from looks, to sleeping/eating habits, to temperament. He and Toddler are textbook babies. I never had to consult a baby book for either one. This Baby Girl is opposite in almost every way, and she’s really testing my problem solving abilities.

Two days ago I was ecstatic to the point of almost jumping up and down when she went down for naps and bedtime without crying for her paci. Then, last night, crying and crying and crying. Most days, though, naps have been coordinated to within a half hour. I’ve worked especially hard at synchronizing a midday nap for all three kids so I can get a break usually 12-2pm. Feeds are starting to regulate. I noticed just today that every 4 hours can work for both babies. If I don’t feed them at their every cry (to rule out hunger), I can make sure they are hungry when I really want to feed them.

Definitely still a work in progress, and I am well aware that just as I figure it out, everything will change (!!!).

lunchldyd is mom to an almost 3yo, a 4mo boy twin, and a 4mo non-sleeping girl twin. She hopes that all her children will be good sleepers soon. In the meantime, she is celebrating the small victories.

Security Objects

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Toddler has her blanket, or “budget” as she used to call it. It all started with a traumatic plane ride. Funny story about the time she actually heard the word “budget” on a home buying HGTV show. Another funny thing is that I never intended on her attaching to that blanket. Before she was born, I had prepared several of the same cute loveys to become her security object. I tried to keep them with her every time she slept, but I guess I didn’t try hard enough.

Now we have another two babies. I get another chance at helping to choose security objects. This time, a friend gave them super cute Wubbanubs when they were born, and I bought an extra set for safekeeping in case. I’ve been pretty diligent about making sure to have them on the babies when they sleep, but so far neither has really been that interested– except Baby Girl who has needed the paci part to sleep. They also have some muslin blankets as well as a heavier downy blanket.


I hope they will take to their Wubbas instead of one of the blankets, as these things are just so darned cute and compact for travel etc. Not that Toddler’s baby blanket isn’t small, but it’s become more or less a do-all as her most treasured possession. Watching her drag that thing all around the house, to wrap around herself while watching TV on the couch, to drape over her shoulders to play Superman, to cover over her toys for peekaboo, to lay on the floor to play “pick-mic”, I can’t help but feel like it’s not the cleanest. And she touches it to her lips for comfort and to go to sleep, so I try to get her to let me wash it whenever I’m doing a load of laundry.

I find the whole idea of having a security object adorable. I love that my babies can hold on to something that will take my place when I’m not around. It will be interesting to see whether my twins will heed my gentle encouragement, or go their own way to find something else as Toddler has. Will they end up with two completely different security objects?

I always like hearing my mom, MIL, and aunts talk about the different types of objects that we all had as children, what we did with them, and how long we had them. These stories are the best and often pretty funny. So, dear readers, share your stories. What unusual/unintended security objects do your children have?

lunchldyd is mom to 3 under 3, looking for the amusing little things to keep her going. 

Juggling Life with Twins

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Has anyone played the video game The Sims? For those who haven’t, the game goes like this: you create an avatar, then go through the paces of living its life. You must find a job, advance your career, raise a family, build/expand/redecorate your house, all while meeting your own everyday needs like going to the restroom, having fun, and keeping the house clean. And it is pretty difficult to keep your avatar happy. Neglect your baby and it will be taken away, neglect your friends and you will no longer have a relationship with them. If you don’t learn how to cook or buy cheap furniture, you will be miserable. There isn’t a particular objective, but players of the game know it’s nevertheless strangely addictive to play out “life” on a screen.

Dealing with two babies and a toddler is like playing a hyper version of The Sims. Time one thing wrong and you end up throwing your arms in the air yelling incoherently or falling asleep on your living room floor. No need to play video games, just get yourself a set of twins! Not exciting enough for you? Throw in a toddler too. Then you’ll really be having fun! I’m not sure about the addictive part though.

I bet in a few years I’ll look back and wonder how I did it. But while I’m doing it, UGH! it’s hard .

lunchldyd is mom to an almost 3 yr old daughter and 3 month old b/g twins in Los Angeles, trying to take it one day at a time.

Breastmilk, Meet Formula

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I am fortunate that I have been able to exclusively breastfeed my twin boys for the first six months of their lives. Well, they had a little formula in the first week of life when I was re-hospitalized for a uterine lining infection after an emergency c-section. On the plus side, I never had to rent that hospital-grade pump, because I was in the hospital! Seriously, that was what I kept repeating to myself as I desperately sought a plus side to being separated from my 4-day-old infants. I was so committed to getting my boys that breastmilk.

And I did. I managed to successfully navigate soreness, scheduling, supply-building, growth spurts, cluster feeding, and nursing tandem. Breastfeeding has been a huge source of both pain and pride.

However, at the boys’ recent 6-month check up we learned that they are not gaining weight adequately, despite growing in length and hitting developmental milestones (ahead of schedule, cough cough brag brag). I sort of suspected something was up because over the past couple of weeks, they have increased to 10 feedings per day and are starting to fuss around feedings. I hoped it was the 6-month growth spurt, or maybe due to a recent round of colds we’ve been sharing, but the scale doesn’t lie. They weren’t getting enough.

This was devastating news because somewhere along the way, I let breastfeeding get pretty wrapped up in my worth as a mom. Maybe even as a woman. In that light, I was a huge failure. I mean, with twins you do basically have someone on the boob 800,000 times per day. It’s easy to feel like it’s all you do, even though it really isn’t.

We decided to start with one bottle of formula per day. We picked the most stressful feeding, the one right before bed. Usually, I’m tired and frazzled, they’re tired and want all my attention, dad stands there helplessly. Awesome way to make bedtime as stressful as possible! That night we each took a baby and a bottle and snuggled in. I’ll admit to some silent tears (I’d never fed my babies a bottle before) and then a different kind of sadness when I realized how damned big my ego had gotten over this breastfeeding thing. It was so peaceful cuddling one baby while dad cradled the other, knowing they could get all the attention and food they needed. For the first time since they were born, there was no pressure to be everything to everyone.

The next day I was able to celebrate the benefits of supplementing, as well as give myself a hearty congratulations for making it to 6 months. I also scaled back the hyperbole and reminded myself it’s literally one bottle per day, Miss Perfectionistpants. But I also mourned a little. My role as a mom was shifting slightly. Would I still be special to my sons?

How I underestimated myself and those little fellows.

The next day, both babies were under the weather – vaccinations plus a lingering virus had them pretty run down. At bed time, M downed a 7 ounce bottle. R took only a couple ounces, but he’d been snacking all day because I let him stay attached during naps (this stopped being cute like 2 months ago but I can’t seem to break the habit for good). Knowing they were good and fed, we sang a little song and put them in bed like always. But my sick little guys started fussing right away. Couldn’t possibly be hunger! Meds were already administered. Rocking, patting, nothing was helping.

Finally I nursed R while dad rocked M. I couldn’t think of anything else to do. He quieted immediately. I have no idea how much food R actually got, but I’m convinced it wasn’t calories that he needed. It was being wrapped up in mommyness. He needed me, plain and simple. When I laid him down, he fell right to sleep. Then I took M and did the same. The kid just had 7 oz and his brother had surely drained whatever was in my breast, but he nuzzled in just the same and became calm and peaceful. After a few moments I was able to lay him down too.

Thank God for formula. If the boys hadn’t had a bottle, all of that comfort-needing would have been totally mixed up with hunger and they would have gotten hysterical. I would have had to juggle them both at once, tandem feed, and try to comfort simultaneously. I wouldn’t have been able to indulge in that peaceful, individual time with each baby, no rushing, no concern about “saving” some milk for the other. They each would have gotten only 50% of me.

Isn’t this the toughest part about being a twin mom? When they both just need you and you have to figure out how they are going to share?

Being a mom is so much more awesome than being food. However we comfort our little ones, in our own special way, satisfies them deeply. By letting go of being the only food source, I realized I can be even more abundantly a comfort source.

My current goal is to make it to a year mostly breastfeeding. And my second goal is to appreciate the space formula allows me to exercise other dimensions of being a mom – including more flexible comfort logistics.

Are twins just cosmically given to control freaks to teach us a life lesson? Any other Type-As out there trying to accept that you can’t do it all?

Seriously…How Do You Do It?

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The name of this blog is just so appropriate.  I meet people all the time who say “I don’t know how you do it!”  My own mother can encourage me (or commiserate!) when she says “I don’t know how you do it!”  But it was under a year ago that I found out I was having twins, and after the initial shock and happiness wore off, I was left with the question “How will I do it?”

I think lots of MoMs to be, particularly if this is their first pregnancy, must ask themselves this question on a daily basis.  From carrying and birthing two babies, to breastfeeding, to soothing in the middle of the night, we just don’t know how we’ll cope.

And it’s not just the newborn phase or even the babies themselves—it’s the stroller, the high chairs, the clothes, the stuff—everywhere we turn we are confronted by another overwhelming child-rearing dilemma.

Project Procrastinot newborn twins

We had no idea what we were in for!

Nearly six months in, my “how will I do it” moments are quite different than they were when my twins were born.  Currently, I am wondering if I will ever sleep again and what introducing solid foods will be like.  For every transition we face, there is a brief moment of panic when I try to figure things out (okay, sometimes it’s not so brief).

When I was pregnant and asked every mother of twins that I could find “How do you do it?!” The vague and ubiquitous answer was “you just do” or “whatever it takes.”  And now that my twins are almost HALF A YEAR OLD (how did that happen!?), I can say that this is the same wisdom I wlll pass down to other MoMs to be.

But what does that mean?  For our family, it means not overthinking things.  I get more stressed out when I try to analyze every detail or plan every nuance.  The babies have a way of teaching you what works best.  So go with the flow, specifically, their flow.  You will find a way that works for you.  And don’t panic if it’s not the same way that Suzy Q does it, or if the first way you try doesn’t work out.  At this moment I have two cribs next to each other IN MY BEDROOM.  Certainly not something I planned, and not the arrangement I hope to live with forever.  But for right now? It’s what we gotta do and it works.

Mercedes and her husband live in Aberdeen, Scotland, where they spend restless nights with their b/g twins born in September 2012. 

E.A.S.Y.

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Eat. Activity. Sleep. You.

In case you haven’t heard or read about this, it’s a program/schedule for babies, named and explained by Tracy Hogg in her book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. Basically, it outlines a 3-hr-ish routine of feeding, some sort of activity (bathing, changing, playing, tummy time, etc), and then sleeping… which is when you are supposed to have time for yourself. Easy, supposedly.

I do remember it being pretty easy with Toddler. Our firstborn had always been an easy baby. She ate and slept, at predictable intervals, in predictable amounts. She started taking naps in her own room before 3 months, and was in her own crib through the night by 3.5 months. Life was an adjustment with a baby whereas there never was anyone else to care for but ourselves, but in retrospect there was quite a lot of time for all the things an adult might want to do, like watch TV, eat, pick up the house, interact with the spouse…

Now, enter newborn twins. I knew it would be bad in the first few weeks. And it was. It took both of us, nonstop, day and night. We split up the babies and each took charge of one, which worked out great at night because their feedings were unpredictable and staggered. All of us being in the same room just meant no one got any sleep. The babies were manageable that way, each waking just once in the middle of the night, albeit not at the same time. But the Hubs couldn’t do that forever, so I braved it and kept both with me in a cosleeper right around two months. The first couple nights of that was a nightmare, but it’s been pretty smooth sailing ever since. Somehow, the twins just know that it’s time to sleep, and they’ll hunker down for a good 6 hours starting around 10pm. So I’m usually up for 45 mins. around 4am, after which they’ll sleep again till 8ish.

Now they are 3 months old, and I’m expecting the daytime feeding/sleeping to be predictable as well. This, however, hasn’t been the case. I’ve been trying to let them fall into their own schedule, actually preferring that they’re staggered so that I don’t get bombarded with cries at the same time, but now I’m ready for some of that “Y”ou time. Thing is, they don’t sleep and wake up to eat. Sometimes they sleep and wake up to play. Sometimes they sleep and wake up crying just to go back to sleep. Sometimes it’s 2 hours, sometimes it’s 45 minutes. And NOT together. I suppose I could just force one to eat when the other one does, but the times I’ve tried that, the baby won’t eat. And I am very opposed to waking a baby from sleep, for almost any reason.

So there we have it. Our E.A.S.Y routine that looks more like a E.S.A.E.A.S. routine, without ever the Y part! Any tips on how I get them to do an E.A.S.Y. together?

lunchldyd is mom to an almost 3 yr old daughter whose schedule is set in stone and her 3 month old twin brother and sister who still need some training.