Category Archives: Balance

Hard Days

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I read some of the other quad momma bloggers out there, and they are truly super moms.

Or they lie.

Or they don’t blog about the hard stuff.

OK, that’s not entirely true either, over at Littlest Lesnaus, Krista had a blog not to long ago about struggling and finding life difficult.

This past week we had two doctor’s appointments, a PT appointment for Alyssa, and Infant Development twice. School break was coming up for our 4 year old. I haven’t been sleeping well at all.  Not because of babies. I just can’t sleep. Greg had a rough day, then I had a major meltdown.

Twice.

No, maybe three times.

OK, if we’re being honest, perhaps it was a lot of times.

Yup.  It has finally hit us.

We have many visitors in our home… yet life is lonely.

If I hear “oh I don’t know how you do it”, “I couldn’t do it”, “wow you’re organized”, “your babies are always sleeping”, “everything is under control”, I think I might just lose it.

Maybe I have lost it already.

This week maybe I’ll trash the house and screw the schedule.

Friday was a terrible terrible day.  So I checked out of my life Saturday afternoon. I really did.  I left home, and said someone else can deal with it.

And you know, sometimes I wonder if Gods sense of humor is messed up.

Really messed up. No joke this truly happened:

Friday afternoon my sister-in-law said that I could go to their place in Newmarket as they were coming to visit anyways so I’d have the place to myself. Awesome. Friday night, all four babies got sick. No big deal, lots of people around to help.

Saturday morning I got sick.

No big deal, right?

Saturday afternoon, I drove to Newmarket, spenr lots of time in tears, hating the world, not understanding life, but I told myself to buck up and get it together. Sunday morning I thought I’d go out for breakfast.  Car wouldn’t start.

No big deal, I’ll use sister in laws car and deal with mine later.

Drive to Timmie’s, and roll down window. I get my breakfast. Window won’t go back up.  Awesome.

No big deal.  After about a half hour the stupid thing went back up.

Go back to parking lot, then decide, “You know, maybe church is where I should be.”

Drive to church. The pastor speaks, and his first point was how God is the perfect parent.  Are you kidding me?!  Go back to house, call CAA, dude #1 couldn’t get it to start, he calls dude #2 who gets it to start and says, “You better drive straight home. Who knows if it will start again before you get there?” How relaxing is that?

The stupid thing is, the whole time I was away I didn’t read, I didn’t catch up on anything, I didn’t shop.

I laid around and worried about home.  About life.  About my oldest daughter.  About not spending time with each kid.  About the friends that used to call. About the family who doesn’t come. About the people who say “call me anytime” but never answer. About a church that I no longer feel a part of.  About the people I thought were friends that have ignored us completely. About the friends that I’ve helped when they’ve needed it. About the big things. About the stupid little things.

Worked myself into quite the downward spiral.

The more I thought about it the worse it became.

I know there people who care. I do.

I am SO thankful for our parents.

I am beyond grateful for our regular helpers. For the 13 members of the community. For the 6 people from our church.  I am thankful for the occasional helpers who come when they can. For my faithful meal makers. For my fellow mommas who do find time to check in. For our nanny who has been incredibly flexible and loves our kids like her own.

It’s just so flippin’ hard.
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Since writing this post back in March, some things have changed:

  • I have stopped pumping every 3 hours, and have gone to just 5 times a day.
  • I have scheduled life so that at least once a week I have some time to myself.
  • I have admitted that perhaps I cannot handle everything on my own.  In March, I quietly began taking the prescription Zoloft. As much as I hate to admit it, it has helped. While I don’t think I was depressed, I definitely could not find the “off” switch. I would lay awake worrying about things and stressing over daily unimportant things. I would put on a face and say that everything was OK, even though it wasn’t.  I had begun to read more into things people said, and that really wasn’t like me.

So all that to say, “Life is hard, but sometimes we make things harder on ourselves.”

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MrsLubby is a mommy of four cute 6 month old fraternal quadruplets and a 4 1/2 year old, trying desperately to find a balance.

Can Multiples Moms Have it All?

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Can Multiples’ Moms Have it All?

This is a loaded question. It really depends on what your “all” represents and I think each mom’s opinion of having it all is going to vary.

Having it all to me, in a dream world, would be having enough money to not worry about how to make ends meet, how to pay for extracurricular activities or for special things or healthcare costs, how to get kids to school on time and also make it to work in enough time to sit at my desk and sip my coffee, while I calmly get ready to start my day.

Notice I said “make it to work”? As a woman, I value the opportunity to go to work, to think about things outside of mommyhood, to do my thing and hopefully help those that I work with in a social services environment. At work I get to put on my thinking cap and think about adult issues and problems. Even if I had all the money in the world, I would still take some time away from the hectic life of being a mom.

When I am not at work 9-5, I am at home with my kids. We get a few hours together before its bedtime, which sometimes bothers me and I think I’d like to be at home more with them, and then one starts screaming at the top of his lungs or wailing on a brother and then I think…maybe not! I figure I do have vacation time and a dependable income, which in the long run means I can plan fun times and take time off to spend more time with them throughout the year. I just have to plan my time with my kids a bit more than a mom who stays at home with their kids full time. I really do enjoy the balance of home life and work life.

I think if you want certain things in life you have to go after them. As mothers it can be very easy to find reasons to put things off when it comes to our own needs. We have to learn to prioritize and compromise on our needs and our personal values. You need to set goals to achieve your dreams of having it all, as well as have realistic expectations of attaining them. The best way to do this is to talk to our partners and let them know what we need out of life and check in with them to find out what they’re thinking, planning and needing as well. As a mother, if you’re tired and feeling burnt out, then you have to ask for help. I’ve been there. Completely exhausted and trying to figure out what to focus on and when. It’s so important to ask for help when you need it because it will do wonders for your sanity and long term happiness.

Yes, there will always be bumps in the road and sometimes things will not go according to plan, so it’s always important to have a Plan B, regroup and sometimes reprioritize in order to have your “all.”

Carolyn is a full time employment counsellor working for a not-for-profit social services agency in Canada. She has 3 young boys–a 5 year old singleton and 3 year old twins. You can find more of Carolyn’s thoughts about parenting, twins and prematurity awareness at Twintrospectives.

Whirlwind Schedule

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If you’re anything like me, things start to whirl out of control at this time of year. Here in the US, the school year is winding down, and the end-of-school events are ramping up. Between recitals and dress rehearsals (dance and piano), awards ceremonies, talent shows, birthday parties, selecting summer camp programs, and the school cultural celebration, I’m feeling a little frayed at the edges.

The fact that J and M’s birthday is next month just adds insult to injury. I confess that, while we’ve decided on a time, location, and theme for their party, I have made no headway toward making invitations or finalizing the guest list.

I am, as my daughter M once put it, “overwheeled.” She says “overwhelmed” now, but “overwheeled” is up there with “lellow” for “yellow” and “yosen” for “used” in my favourite J-and-Misms. (She just looked over my shoulder and informed me that I spelled “favourite” wrong and should “spell it American.” I figure letting my daughters watch and participate in my writing process can’t be a bad thing for anyone.)

I’m not too proud to ask for help when I need it. A huge part of the reason that I hurried back to Central Texas after my divorce was to return to the amazingly supportive community that I am part of. The stuff on my plate right now, however, can’t be outsourced. I need to be the one making sure I get ballet costume photos taken for Grammy and Grampy. Only I can make modifications to my work schedule to get to all these events on time. It’s up to me to make the display on Bangladesh for the event celebrating diversity at our school.

For the next month or so, I need to go into get-it-done mode. There will be less sleep for me. I’ll be working through all my lunch breaks. I’m going to have to figure out each day’s schedule at the beginning of the week. No flying by the seat of my pants for me. This will be a month of checklists and spreadsheets and schedules.

It’s going to be a great month and will leave us with a ton of great memories, but I am looking forward to June.

How do you handle the crazy times?

For those of you with infants right now, how does it feel to hear how completely I’ve managed to forget the feats of juggling I was capable of when my littles were truly little?

Sadia, her twin daughters J and M, and the family cats overextend themselves in the Austin, TX area. Sadia is a recently divorced single mom and works full time in higher education information technology.

Achieving Balance

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I think by far the most challenging part of being a Mom of Multiples is balancing the needs of each child with the other(s).

Sure there are the physical and logistical challenges of getting everyone eating and sleeping, and generally managing our days, but what really frustrates me is the mental and emotional challenges of who/what to cut out when times or situations don’t allow for everyone to get what they need/want.

Before the twins, Toddler got undivided attention, from at least one parent, all the time. Now she’s lucky if she gets some attention from one of her parents some times. This has been a tougher transition for me than for her, but there are times she feels neglected and becomes extra needy (especially bedtime, when she knows she will be alone).

She is also coming to an age where socialization is important for her development. I no longer have the time to take her many places where she can get that interaction. I need to start her in some sort of structured class soon, but I feel really badly because her napping schedule that has been in place for at least 1.5 years will get screwed up. I’m also afraid of the illnesses she will inevitably be bringing home to the babies. I currently have her enrolled in a Mommy and Me class twice a week, but we will have to go with twins in tow.

Which brings me to the babies. They are unrelenting in their need for food, diapers, and stimulation. It’s a never-ending 3-4 hr cycle individually for each baby, on a good day. Lately, they’ve been going through a growth spurt, and actually reverse cycling as well– this upheaval when I thought we were nicely settled in our nighttime sleep (I must have jinxed myself by posting!). I’ve been tracking their sleep and feeds to see if any sort of pattern will emerge, but so far after nearly a month, all I see is that everything is still all over the place. I want to be able to work in outings that don’t interrupt their napping, but at this point with no specific naptime, that issue is pretty moot. Nevertheless, I know if I take everyone out to the park (which Toddler and I need), the babies will not sleep the way they do when we’re at home, and whether that’s a good or bad thing, I’m sure it is not helping them get on a routine.

The babies also don’t get bathed daily, only twice or three times a week, but I remember Toddler got a leisurely daily bath starting the day her belly button stump fell off. I feel I’m shortchanging the twins by not bathing them daily, but it’s easily a 30 minute ordeal with both babies getting a bath, a frantic one in which I’m trying to beat the clock before they become overtired or Toddler gets herself into something she isn’t supposed to. And choosing to give them a bath is always at the expense of doing something else.

I am lucky that they are infants and will never remember this time in their lives. I can screw up the schedule for one day and it’s usually reset for the next. They are unconditionally loving and forgiving, which makes me feel even worse.

We are also lucky to have kids who don’t constantly have to be held. They can all fare pretty well alone with some toys to occupy them. But there are times when all three need my attention at once. And that definitely makes for some craziness around here. I wish I could split myself 3 ways, but realistically maybe I should just hope to somehow sync everyone up so that their times don’t conflict (babies nap during Toddler’s bedtime routine), or work all three kids into the same routine (babies do their bedtime ritual with Toddler).

When is it the babies’ turn to get uninterrupted sleep? When is it Toddlers’ turn to go out and get some fresh air? With only one of me and 24 hours in a day, how does everybody get what they want/need?

lunchldyd is mom to an almost 3 yr old daughter and 4 month old b/g twins, struggling to find balance.

Sacrifices

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A couple days ago we got our new minivan. A Sienna SE. I was deathly against it at first, but I came around. The SE is the “sport” edition of the Sienna, if there is such a thing as a sporty minivan, so this was our compromise. And after crunching the numbers we decided to lease it, just in case I no longer want to be a minivan mommy after three years.

It’s not a luxury car by any means– I actually feel like it’s a slight downgrade from my fully loaded CRV EX-L with Navi (we opted out of the Toyota Nav), and it’s going to take a whole lot of getting used to driving the thing. For example, getting in and out of the garage will now be a carefully orchestrated ordeal. The few times I’ve done it so far I’ve  had to jump out of the car numerous times to see exactly where I am. I’m sure with time I will better be able to gauge the distances, but it’s probably never going to be zippy. I am also now sized out of some smaller parking spaces. With infant carseat carriers in tow, I better just resign myself to finding those faraway spots without any cars next to them.

Husband is losing his BMW. Two years ago, when Toddler was not yet one and there were no plans for another anytime soon, we made the decision to lease a nice car for him to drive to work. Since his commute was so long, I figured he might as well enjoy it as much as he could. Well, lo and behold, we now have twins. And since the CRV is paid for, we will be early-terminating our lease (anyone want a 335i with M Sport and Nav?) probably at a loss. Husband will now be driving the CRV. He told me I better loooooove this minivan.

The kids do love it (at least, I know the one who can talk does). Today, Toddler’s first time riding in the new car, she clapped her hands and exclaimed that she could see a whole bunch more. I guess the visibility is better from the back because of all the windows? And the space! Oh my, it is so spacious. No need for her to climb over this and that to get out through the front passenger door. The first thing I did was take out one of the bucket seats, so there’s plenty of room in there to even do a little jig.

The things we do for our children, and gladly. I’m sure this is just a small example of the sacrifices we as parents, especially parents of multiples, are making for our kids daily. Other than the obvious sleep, time, money, what are some sacrifices that you’ve made?

lunchldyd is mom to an almost 3 yr old daughter and 4 month old b/g twins. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband, 3 children, and a new minivan.

Can Moms of Multiples Have It All?!?

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Something I have considered from seemingly every angle before getting pregnant was whether or not I’d want to return to work after having kids. I forwarded Anne-Marie Slaughter’s article “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” (The Atlantic) to my working mom friends, or friends of child-bearing age, followed the Yahoo CEO story closely and am looking forward to reading Lean In when time allows.  Love these discussions, whether I’m talking to a SAHM or a single woman who never sees themselves having kids.  Now that I’m pregnant, it feels like I’m admitting to a crime when I say that, while I can discuss my opinions about maternity leave pay in our country, or gender-specific expectations around child-rearing, etc, etc, the deep down truth is that I always wanted to work after kids (and still want to return).

Of course, an angle I didn’t quite consider is that I might have twins, and have the daycare costs for twin infants, the emotional impact of leaving behind TWO infants and perhaps double the sleep deprivation to contend with in the early days back at my desk. When we started trying to have kids, I was in a very stressful, unhealthy work environment, and it only took about six unsuccessful months of trying for me to question whether my stress level was impacting my fertility. I started looking for jobs elsewhere, took a pay cut and began my work in an area in which I was less passionate, but allowed me to get out to the increasingly frequent reproductive endocrinologist’s appointments and take more time for myself.

I felt guilty taking a new job, knowing that we were actively trying to get pregnant, and decided to tell my boss about our fertility treatments early on. I do recall her giving her support, as long as I was planning on returning to work. (Of course, this was probably unnecessary, as it still took another 8 months to get pregnant.) While I occasionally miss some of the more passion-driven days at my old job, I definitely have settled into a new role where I can do things like (ahem!) write blog posts in my down time and relish waking up a little later and still having time to do yoga before work. Upon finding out I was expecting two babies, some questions started popping into my head: If this doubles the cost of daycare, is it worth it to still work? If we break even with my salary and day care, is it STILL worth it? I don’t know any moms of twins in my life who returned 5 days per week (well, ones without ample help). Am I crazy for considering this? Will weekends and minimal time at night during the week feel like enough time with my little ones?

I have always worked two jobs. Like, for the last 14 years. (Don’t worry-I only have three weeks left of job number two, and will only be returning to one after the babies arrive.) While I absolutely strive to maintain other parts of my identity (artist, aspiring chef, yoga enthusiast, world traveler, wife in a healthy marriage) other than employee, I am not going to lie: I enjoy working full-time, being needed in a work place, and possibly most importantly, feeling part of a community, both in the sense of working people in the world, and also in my small non-profit. I decided to commit to returning full-time, taking comfort in the fact that I now have a VERY short commute, have found a nanny who is amazing, and have a very laid-back work environment.

In the eight weeks or so since I announced that I’m pregnant at work, my boss has resigned (the head honcho of our agency) and more recently, the chairperson of the board that oversees our whole agency announced his plans to step down. My perfectly-laid plan of returning to a stress-free environment seems to be crumbling before my eyes. I’ve questioned whether I may want to apply for said head honcho role, to ensure the laid-back attitude prevails. And I’ve questioned whether I will be able to get through if someone new is hired who cracks the whip a little more… Yes, of course, another lesson in, (big shocker here) things I cannot control! I feel pretty certain I’ll return either way and see how things go…

I realize there are previous HDYDI blog posts on working moms. I’d love to hear from working moms, especially those in leadership roles, who have thoughts about returning to work after 12 weeks off.

Breaking Bad Habits

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Husband went back to work last Tuesday. After an extended paternity leave of 3.5 months, during which we decided he would reevaluate his career for better work/life balance, he has now rejoined the working world. I no longer have my comrade in arms, battling the daily fight. It is now solely up to me to keep things running at home– a good chance to break some bad habits that we have negligently allowed to form in these hectic months.

Toddler

1. Running around like a hooligan.

Nearly 3 means plenty of energy. When she’s gotten her full 11 hrs sleep at night or 2 hr nap, she’s ready to go. In our sleep-deprived haze, we got lazy and started letting her run and shout around the house to expend her energy. No time to take her outside, to the park, or even direct her attention to other activities, she’s gotten a little too used to the house being her playground. The babies didn’t mind when they were infants, but they are getting to be more aware of their surroundings now, so it’s becoming a problem. That, and the hooligan part.

2. Yelling when demands aren’t met.

Somehow, she’s also learned that yelling gets her attention. There are times when her demands for a cup of water, for another sticker, for us to change the channel just can’t be met right away. We are feeding babies or otherwise occupied doing something else. We answer her with “wait” or “no” but lately that’s only gotten us the same request, louder and louder, until we give in or she cries.

3. Watching cartoons while eating.

It was just easier to let her watch Nick Jr while she ate. Kept her from peppering us with random questions or worse to demand our attention. Now, she can’t eat without a cartoon on TV? Bad, bad, bad.

Twins

4. Not on a schedule.

Sleeping and eating willy nilly is kind of expected in newborns just home from the hospital, but they’re 3.5 months old now. Time to get on a schedule. Bad habits inhibiting this include: Randomly screaming in the middle of a nap and going back to sleep, Pretending to be hungry and then not eating, or my favorite, I spit my paci out but now want it again. This is priority number one, and I think I’m making a little progress from this previous post about E.A.S.Y.

Myself

5. Being anal.

I’m pretty regimented, controlling even. Goal-oriented is what I call it. I tend to see my role at home as the commander of the health and happiness of my children, and I like military precision. Routines are a big deal when you’re a child (I know this from my 9 years of teaching), and they’re a big part of Toddler’s life. In fact, my in-laws have joked that I’m the “sleep Nazi”. These last few days, trying to get all three kids in sync has been driving me crazy. Any two would be a breeze, but throw in the third one and the gears fall off. It’s like they know.

Actually, the daytimes are pretty good. The twins’ schedules are aligned, Toddler is behaving, we’re all enjoying our time together, and then the “witching” hour (or two) hits and all hell breaks loose. Babies want to be fed when it’s time for Toddler’s bath (even if they’ve just been fed and are peacefully sleeping), or they get overtired while I’m still working on putting Toddler to bed (when she is at her worst with the stalling and whining). Add to that the fact that I also need to squeeze in some pump time, during which I cannot tend to anybody, and the great day we might have had becomes a distant memory. I get frazzled and frustrated– the only thought that runs through my head is that it is just plain unmanageable.

And I stress myself out. I have chronic neck and shoulder pain because that’s how my body manifests stress, and lately there have been a few tension headaches too. I’ve always looked with disdain at parents who disregard their kids’ nap and bedtimes, but in a way I really envy them. When it gets bad, all I’m thinking about is when is the next feeding, how long have they slept, have the diapers been changed– so that the day just becomes a series of countdowns. I have to remind myself to stop and enjoy the moments.

My daughter has probably inherited/learned some of this from me (see my post on Toddler Rituals), and I don’t want her to have a life of anxiety and stress, so I’ve just got to quit it.

ALL really much more easily said than done. Toddler’s bad habits are behavior issues. I’m in the process of changing those already. She’s young and malleable so we’re good there. Babies’ bad habits have to do with their maturity. I’m sure as they get older they’ll get better, and I’ll get more experienced with their signs too. HOWEVER, the last one has plagued me my entire life. I am a perfectionist as well as an over-achiever, and throw in some major control issues too. I don’t know how to fix myself.

lunchldyd is mom to an almost 3 yr old daughter and 3 month old b/g twins in Los Angeles, trying very hard to do the scariest thing: lose control.

How I Do It

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A couple of days ago, Mercedes asked us, “Seriously, how do you do it?” This is my answer.

(This is a revised version of a post I originally wrote when my now 6-year-olds were toddlers.)

I don’t think parents of multiples or military families or single parents or working moms are unique in needing to answer this question repeatedly. I suspect all parents get it, because seriously, parenting is a hard hard job. It’s physically, emotionally and creatively demanding, and, although its rewards are incomparable, there are days it’s a thankless slog.

So, how do I do it?

My 2-second answer to the question is, “I do the best I can.”

My 20-second answer is, “I prioritize, and I lower my standards. I figure out what really matters and what’s necessary. Then, I let everything else slide. The kids and my job need a level of attention that cannot be compromised. I have to care for myself enough so that I am mentally and physically healthy enough to manage those things. Everything else has to fit in around those top priorities.”

Here’s the long answer:

My priorities are clear. In order, they are:

  1. The kids’ immediate well-being
  2. The kids’ long-term well-being. Are they on a path to being healthy, happy, wholesome, productive adults?
  3. My job and my immediate co-workers and customers
  4. The kids’ relationships with their family members who don’t live with us, including their father, stepmother and stepsisters
  5. A healthy diet for the family
  6. My mental and physical health (including getting sleep)
  7. Friends and remaining family
  8. Community participation
  9. Housekeeping and home maintenance

I look at the balance of my life in two-week chunks. I might not get to cleaning, talking to relatives, exercise, or even reading with the girls, every single day. I may go a week without making a meaningful contribution to my community. Within each 14 day period, though, each of the areas I value should have had some attention, in proportion to their place on the priority list.

How do I fit this blog into my life? Well, blogging helps me work through the most challenging questions of the day, reminds me that the kids are the primary reason I even try to achieve balance, and keeps me connected with the amazingly supportive and smart community of parent bloggers. Priorities 1, 2, 6 and 8 addressed in one fell swoop. Again, the 14-day balance helps me stay on top of things. I don’t write nearly as regularly as I publish. Some days, I’ll have three things to talk about, and I’ll publish the extra drafts on days when there’s a gap and I don’t have the time, energy or creativity to come up with a timely post.

Here’s the big secret. I don’t do it all. On a given day, I either don’t sleep enough, don’t clean enough, feed the kids junk like mac and cheese and hot dogs, don’t shower, or don’t take any time to sit and breathe.

So, how do I do it? I don’t.

Sadia is a recently divorced mother of 6-year-old twin girls, M and J, having spent 8 years as an army wife. They live with three cats in the Austin, TX area, where J and M attend Spanish-English dual language public school and Sadia works at a large university in information technology.

It Gets Better, Especially When You Don't Clean

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When our twins were infants, it would annoy me when other MOMs told me that it would get better.  It was tough, certainly, but it wasn’t “awful” during that period so I didn’t really understand why they kept telling me it would get better.  Then the twins passed 2 1/2 years and OH MY GOSH, did it ever get better.  My husband and I felt like we came up for air for the first time in, oh, 2 1/2 years.  We didn’t even know we were under water before we took those big gulps of air consisting of an easier bedtime, small steps in self-sufficiency, and the ability for the twins to play with each other and older kids in our neighborhood for longer periods of time.  Truly, we look back at the period as the dawn of a new era that we continue to enjoy.

That said, what we did to take advantage of our new found freedom is sort of crazy.  We doubled the size of our vegetable garden, decided to raise chickens for eggs (if you are on the fence about chickens, we totally endorse this), adopted two kittens, and we both began to craft and enjoy our hobbies.  I also began to start running again for about an hour a day, which is singularly the thing I do that spoils me most.  I love exercising and had missed it for many years.

I should mention that I am employed full time and at mid-career, which means increasing job and mentoring responsibilities.

How do I do it?

I do not clean. And I mean that seriously.  I know some of you all say that and perhaps you mean it’s time to change the towels in your bath or you haven’t put away all the clean dishes.  What I mean is that our house is a freaking mess. And while it bothers me, it obviously doesn’t bother me enough to choose cleaning over running/gardening/knitting/chickening/kittening.  There is no way we can afford any help to clean up the house until the twins get out of daycare and we pay off the associated credit card debt in 4 more years or so.

So our solution?  We have parties!!  Yes, it is like killing two birds (but not chickens!) with one stone.  We get to socialize and it forces us to clean the house a few times a year.

I really feel like MOMs get special dispensation in some area of their lives.  For us, we choose to forgive ourselves for living in a messy house.  It makes it so much easier to survive and thrive with our little bunnies.  Our children.  We call our children bunnies.  We would not actually get bunnies.  They would destroy the garden.

Juggling Life with Twins

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Has anyone played the video game The Sims? For those who haven’t, the game goes like this: you create an avatar, then go through the paces of living its life. You must find a job, advance your career, raise a family, build/expand/redecorate your house, all while meeting your own everyday needs like going to the restroom, having fun, and keeping the house clean. And it is pretty difficult to keep your avatar happy. Neglect your baby and it will be taken away, neglect your friends and you will no longer have a relationship with them. If you don’t learn how to cook or buy cheap furniture, you will be miserable. There isn’t a particular objective, but players of the game know it’s nevertheless strangely addictive to play out “life” on a screen.

Dealing with two babies and a toddler is like playing a hyper version of The Sims. Time one thing wrong and you end up throwing your arms in the air yelling incoherently or falling asleep on your living room floor. No need to play video games, just get yourself a set of twins! Not exciting enough for you? Throw in a toddler too. Then you’ll really be having fun! I’m not sure about the addictive part though.

I bet in a few years I’ll look back and wonder how I did it. But while I’m doing it, UGH! it’s hard .

lunchldyd is mom to an almost 3 yr old daughter and 3 month old b/g twins in Los Angeles, trying to take it one day at a time.