From the Archives: Infertility

April 20, 2014April 24, 2014Sadia
From the Archives, Infertility, Infertility Theme WeekLeave a comment

This week isn’t the first time we’ve touched on infertility on How Do You Do It? Check out these posts.

General Thoughts on Infertility

National Infertility Week (2009): Krissy pointed out the importance of raising awareness of infertility.
NPR Segment on Multiples and Infertility: Rebecca was bothered by this news story.
Are They Natural?: Sadia ponders the insensitivity of asking a stranger about the details of their children’s conception. She tries to make the question an opportunity to remind people to be more considerate. She touches on the same topic from a more humorous perspective in It’s Okay to Think It: Responding to Twin Comments.

Personal Stories that Feature Infertility

10 Week Newbie: Katie felt increasingly marginalized as she was suck deeper and deeper into infertility treatments, but on finally achieving pregnancy with twins, the MoM community felt like home.
Recovering from Infertility: Even as the mother of 16-month-old twins, Krissy feels the sting of infertility. This is her infertility tale. In Random Ramblings, she thinks about what it would take to grow her family further.
On the other hand, Erin has put infertility behind her, she tells us in Am I a Fraud?
In Inseparable, Carissa tells the story of how her boy/girl twins joined her family through international adoption, following years of failed attempts to conceive.
Triplets: Angela’s Story: AngelaBickford3 conceived triplets after 3 years of infertility and two miscarriages, only to lose her son Carter as a newborn.
On the Clock: Katie compares the cyclical natures of infertility, pregnancy and parenting infants.

This post is part of Infertility Tales 2014, How Do You Do It?‘s series to raise awareness about infertility and its impact on families. Please take a moment to read through some of the personal stories of loss, pain, fertility treatments, and success.

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From the Archives: Twin Birth Stories

November 12, 2013November 22, 2013Sadia
Birth Stories, From the Archives, Theme WeekNICU/preemie theme week, prematurity and NICU theme weekLeave a comment

In the United States, 1 in 9 babies is born prematurely, 1 in 10 in Canada. Worldwide, over 15 million babies are born too soon each year. While not all multiples are born prematurely, a multiple birth increases the probability of an early delivery. Babies born prematurely, before 37 weeks gestation, are at a higher risk for health complications in infancy, some of which can have long-term effects. Full-term infants are not all free from their own health complications, of course.

In honor of November’s Prematurity Awareness Month, led by the March of Dimes, How Do You Do It? is focusing this week’s posts on The Moms’ experiences with premature deliveries, NICU stays, health complications, special needs, and how we’ve dealt with these complex issues.

We’ll be sharing more twin birth stories throughout the week. Here are the ones that have been published on HDYDI in the past.

“Let’s Bring Those Babies!”: Cheryl Lage had her babies at 36w4d. Her pushing muscles gave out between Baby A and Baby B, but dry heaving birthed her daughter. Not a NICU in sight for this pair!
My Semi-Planned C-Section: Goddess in Progress had a C-section scheduled for 36w6d, but her twins decided to beat the clock by a week. Her hospital stay and recovery weren’t bad, although Daniel and Rebecca did put some time in at the NICU.
Josh and Nate – The Birth Story: Emomily had her boys at 36w3d after a routine ultrasound showed Twin A’s amniotic fluid running low. She had them by C-section, sturdy 6 lbs, 12 oz and 7 lbs, 4 oz.
The Birth Story of Sarah and Samantha – Born 12/26/06: Twinmom122606‘s identical daughters, diagnosed with TTTS, were delivered by scheduled C-section at 36w4d. They were released from the hospital with Mommy!
3 Months of Bed Rest, Emergency C-Section, and One Week in the NICU: LauraC didn’t have the easiest pregnancy. A highlight? Contractions every 15 minutes for 4 weeks. Her time in hospital was very emotional and her boys spent some time in the NICU. She counts her “real” newborn experience from the time that the boys came home at one week old.
Every Which Way: Tracey had some liver issues that prompted the doctors to deliver her boys 1 month early. Abel was born vaginally and then Oskar required a C-section. That’s right. Two childbirths in one. Ouch!
Aaron & Brady’s Twin Birth Story: MamaCyn had her boys at 34w after 6 weeks of bed rest. This was her second NICU experience. The boys spent 2 weeks in the NICU and are doing great.
Easter 2007: Birth Story: Rebecca originally opted for a vaginal birth but eventually required a C-section. Danny and Abigail were born at 36w2d, spent one night at the step-down nursery for monitoring, then joined mom and dad.
The Never Ending Pregnancy: Krissy carried her twins to 39 weeks and delivered them by C-section. They were healthy and perfect.
Coming to Term(s): Craftylissa‘s elevated blood pressure landed her in the hospital at 32w. At 33w, her boys were born by emergency C-section. They were released after 4 weeks in the NICU.
No Surprises: CarrieinAK‘s birth story was pretty drama-free! Her boys were born at 36w. Her recovery was painful, which is expected whenever you have major abdominal surgery.
In Retrospect: Jenna ponders the life lessons her C-section experience taught her.
Twinfant Tuesday: Why Not? (and Earplugs) and By Way of Introduction: Jeanene‘s youngest two children are adopted. In these posts, she talks about her daughter’s first year and how she and her not-quite-twin brother joined Jeanene’s family.
Not How I’d Planned Things to Go: A & B’s Birth Story: It’s taken MandyE a long time to come to terms with things not going as she’d always envisioned them.

Have a multiple birth story to share? Please link to it in our blog hop or tell us about it in the comments. We especially want to hear about how things went for higher order multiples!

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From the Archives: Prematurity and the NICU

November 11, 2013November 19, 2013Sadia
From the Archives, NICU, Prematurity, Theme Weekprematurity and NICU theme week3 Comments

Most, but not all, of the HDYDI Moms’ multiples were born prematurely. For many of us, prematurity is a big part of our motherhood journey. For others, it is a footnote. Premature birth and its aftermath is a topic we’ve returned to again and again, although never in as focused a manner as this week. Here’s what we’ve said:

In the NICU

Phthalate Exposure in NICU Babies: LauraC knows that the tubing used for her babies during their NICU stay was necessary, but still wasn’t ecstatic to discover that they exposed her sons to phthalates, substances shown to cause to affect sexual development in mice.
Corn Syrup in My Babies’ Formula? Sadia finds the time to read the ingredients on her babies’ high calorie formula well after they’ve moved on to grownup food. She wasn’t happy with what she found.
NICU Rules: Natasha Devalia has seen NICUs around the world and finds that each one has its own set of rules regarding how often parents can visit and what they are allowed to do.

Loss

In the MoMs Club – Just Barely: Angela writes about the loss of her son Carter soon after his birth and how she’s caught between being the triplet and loss mom she is and the twin mom strangers perceive her to be.

Leaving the NICU

Reunited: Sadia writes about the emotions she felt on hearing that Marissa‘s son A was going home from the NICU

Coming Home

Everybody Take a Baby: Only one of Sarah‘s triplets needed to spend time in the NICU. Managing sleep with two babies at home was difficult, but doable, but added the third baby into the mix took some creativity.
Trying Times of Twinfancy: Jamie found that it was helpful to maintain the 3-hour NICU routine on arriving home, but it couldn’t last forever.

Staying Connected

Giving Back: Margie and her boys return to the NICU, every year on their birthday, to give a little something back.
The First Year: Amy looks back on her 30-weekers’ birth and NICU experience from a year later.
A Preterm MoM Intro: Carolyn has three premature sons, a singleton and twins. She has jumped into the role of an advocate for preemie parents, informed by her own experience in and beyond the NICU.

Mommy Issues

Prematurity Is Never Easy: Sadia tried to prepare for the reality of prematurity, but couldn’t despite her best efforts. She still carries a lot of guilt about going into premature labour.
My Little Twin: Lisa finds herself actively working on leaving the trauma of the NICU behind and not categorizing the sicker of her babies after birth as “the little twin.”
Twinfant Tuesday: Three Things That Helped in the First Year Blur: Angela‘s surviving triplets spent 4 months in the NICU and she lost sweet Carter in the hospital. Still, she and her family made it through the first year with help, positivity and organization.
The Most Challenging Age: Carolyn talks about how hard the first year out of the NICU was on her.

The Aftermath of Prematurity

Intraventricular Hemorrhage (IVH): Littlebites‘ daughter Cameron had a brain bleed shortly after birth, and the prognosis wasn’t good. She’s turned out just fine.
Halloween for Preemies! Amy had to get creative to find preemie-sized Halloween costumes.
Preemie Medical Issues: Lung Function, and also Bad Teeth: Sadia discovered that her daughters’ propensity for cavities was probably a lasting effect of their premature birth.
Prematurity and School: Natasha Devalia decided to delay her twins’ entry into preschool because their prematurity did make them “younger” than their peers.
Medium and Happy: Natasha Devalia notes that being average is okay and for preemies, it’s pretty amazing.
RSV: Sadia‘s daughters contracted the respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) when they were a year and half old. They had a relatively minor case, for preemies, but it was still traumatic.
Wanted: 2 Bubbles for My 2 Boys’ Wibbly Wobbly Woes: Carolyn is patient about the ways in which her boys need to catch up with their age peers, but it’s not always easy.

No NICU

The Never Ending Pregnancy: Krissy‘s twins were born at 39 weeks, with no need for NICU time.
Two Late to Take It Back: Birth Planning: Shawn didn’t anticipate being expected to mother her twins immediately after her C-section, but they ended up not needing to spend any time in the NICU.

Parenthetically About Prematurity

What Should You Know?: Sarah gives pregnant mothers a list of questions they should ask of their care providers so that they’re in the best position to make good decisions and be prepared for various possibilities.
Preparing Your Financial House for Multiples: LauraC points out that NICU stays can be very expensive. It’s worthwhile to have an emergency fund in place in case you need to max out your out-of-pocket health costs.
Twins and Massachusetts: Goddess in Progress discusses her reaction to an article focusing on the negatives of having twins, including NICU time.
Speech Delays and Multiples: Jenna points out that prematurity is one contributor to speech delays.
How to Pick a Doctor for Your Children: Sadia points out that expectant MoMs may want to seek out a pediatric practice that has experience with preemies, just in case.

You may also want to check out the Infant Feeding archives for posts related to breastfeeding in the NICU and breastfeeding preemies after they’re home including Carolyn‘s Breastfeeding Buddies: Twin Brothers Nurse while Living in the NICU.

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From the Archives: Multiples and Birth Order

October 11, 2013November 19, 2013Sadia
Birth Order, From the Archivesbirth orderLeave a comment

Some parents of multiples proudly discuss their children’s birth order, even engraving their A and B birth status into their names. Others go to great lengths to avoid telling anyone which child was born first. For some the decision is personal, for others it is a cultural norm, and for yet others, there’s no decision to be made because they never really thought about it.

These are some post where The Moms have pondered matters of birth order over the years:

The Mystery of Multiples and Birth Order: Krissy talks about our cultural assumptions of the effect of birth order on family dynamics and wonders about varying perspectives from MoMs.
Differentiating Between Multiples: Jenna found herself labeling her twin daughters as “big” and “little” and gained some empathy with those outsiders who feel the need to label our children in opposition to one another.
Which Came First: Reanbean has grown increasingly bothered by strangers insisting on knowing her twins’ birth order.
“Afu ge ge”, “Leila mei mei”: Natasha Devalia doesn’t want to emphasize which of her twins is “older,” but it’s unavoidable in China.
Multiples and Age Hierarchy: My refusal to tell people which of my daughters was born first messes with my Bangladeshi family’s hierarchical view of the world.
And the Older One Is …: My girls surprise me when I can no longer avoid telling them who was born first.
Birthday(s) for Two: I tell one daughter what time she was born, necessitating a discussion with both my daughters. I remind the girls that they’re the same age from conception and that womb eviction doesn’t make J any older than M.
Who’s Older? Mercedes believes that birth order plays a role in personality development, but not for multiples. What happens when twins are born 87 days apart? Clearly, they’re still twins, but are they the same age?

Do your kids display traits related to birth order? Do you see birth order as applicable to multiples?

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From the Archives: Childcare Expenses

September 28, 2013October 30, 2013Sadia
Childcare, Finances and Saving, From the ArchivesLeave a comment

Childcare for twinfants can easily cost more than your mortgage. We don’t have any straightforward solutions that will work for all families, but many of The Moms have talked about childcare expenses and the different available options, over the years. Check out these posts.

Childcare Costs: Sadia and SaraBeth talk about what they’ve spent on childcare and how they adjusted their lifestyles to pay for it.
Sit or Stand – Money Saving Solutions to Babysitting: SaraBeth presents a number of creative ways to make short-term childcare less painful to the bottom line.
Guest Post: Au Pair: Guest poster Dana sings the praises of an au pair as her family’s childcare solution.
Our Reality-Show Worthy Childcare Journey. So Far: Rachel‘s adventures in her childcare search are nothing short of epic.
Can Moms of Multiples Have It All?!? Katie‘s thinking about going back to work and wondering how it will work. And yes, childcare costs figure into her worries.
The Stay-at-Home Dad: Brian guest posts about being the stay-at-home parent.
Ask the Moms: To Work or Not to Work: Goddess in Progress discusses the pros and cons of paid employment and full-time SAHM mothering.
There Are Two Things in Life for Which We Are Never Truly Prepared: Twins: One of the things theamericanwife worried about on learning that she was expecting twins was the cost of daycare.

Tell us about the childcare solution that has worked for your family.

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From the Archives: Saving on Food for Families with Multiples

September 27, 2013October 30, 2013Sadia
Feeding, Finances and Saving, From the Archives, Solid Foods, Theme Weekbaby food, cost-saving, cutting back expenses, saving moneyLeave a comment

Food expenses can really add up. The Moms have talked about their approaches to saving on nutritious meals over the years.

Great Friends and a Freezer Full of Food: Jenna discusses the cost savings and camaraderie of batch cooking with friends.
Pinching Pennies Part II: Among other nuggets of wisdom, Krissy points out that packing your own snacks can save you a pretty penny.
Foodie Fridays: Saving Money at the Grocery Store: ldskatelyn and MandyE share their ideas for minimizing spending while maximizing nutrition and flavor.

Baby Food

Making your own baby food is one option to bring down costs.

Making Baby Food: Rachel breaks down exactly how she fed her babies their first solids, including calculating her savings over store-bought food.
Homemade Baby Food: Sadia talks about how she made homemade baby food work at home and at daycare. (Yes, I just referred to myself in the third person. Because I can.)

What’s your approach to saving on food?

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From the Archives: Secondhand Shopping and Shopping Cheaply

September 25, 2013October 30, 2013Sadia
Finances and Saving, From the Archives, Theme Weekclothes, gear, secondhand, shopping1 Comment

Young children go through a lot of clothes and gear. That could get expensive, so secondhand shopping and shopping the sales are attractive options. Here’s what The Moms have had to say on the matter over the years.

The New-to-Us Shopping Method: Reanbean tells us how she keeps her kids dressed and her bank account happy.
Shopping, Twin-Mom Style: Have you heard about Mothers of Multiples club consignment sales? Do you want to know how they work? Goddess in Progress tells us all about it, from both the shopper and seller perspectives.
I’ve Been Preparing for Weeks Now…: lalagirl, mom to two sets of twins plus ones, extols the virtues of Mothers of Multiples club consignment sales.
Spring Consignment and Yard Sales–Tips and Tricks for Getting the Best Deals: Leslie H shares her shopping wisdom from her 8 years of consignment and yard sale experience.
Gambling Again: Buying ahead is a great idea, but Reanbean points out that it’s hard to predict what sizes you’ll need when the weather changes.
How I Dress My Three for Less: Sarah teaches us her tricks for buying cheap, even when you’re not shopping secondhand.
Saving Money on Clothes for Your Kids: Krissy has found that hand-me-downs don’t end up working for her, so she tells us what does to find clothes for her kids.
Every Little Bit Helps: Leslie H talks about how she keeps her hand-me-downs and consignment finds organized so that she can find them when the time comes.
Halloween Recycle: Sarah found herself saving on Halloween costumes when her girls wore the same costumes two years in a row.
More CAN Necessarily Mean Better: Rachel‘s kids didn’t quite fulfill her dreams of kids who could have one of each toy and share peacefully. There’s a reason there are so many duplicate toys at your local multiples consignment event.
How to Afford Twins: Buying New for Less
How to Afford Twins: Free Used Stuff
How to Afford Twins: Secondhand Shopping
How to Afford Twins: Multiples Consignment Sales

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From the Archives: How to Afford Twins, Triplets, and More

September 22, 2013October 30, 2013Sadia
Finances and Saving, From the Archives, Parenting, Theme Week2 Comments

Making parenting multiples a little less damaging to your bank balance is a very real challenge. It’s the rare parent-to-be who anticipates planning for more than one baby to show up until after that first ultrasound. The Moms have written on this subject on many occasions, so it’s time for another roundup of posts from the HDYDI archives. Here’s what we’ve said about how to afford twins, triplets, and more!

Cost Concerns

hdydi.com — Photo Credit: BrownGuacamole

These posts address general concerns regarding the expenses of raising multiples.

1+1 > 2 (or How Twins Doesn’t Equal Economies of Scale): Rachel had expected that her twins would share some things, bringing their costs somewhat less than two times that of a singleton. That didn’t quite come to pass.
Double the Gear: Meredith advises expectant MoMs and DoMs on what to buy two of and when one will suffice.
Pinching Pennies and Tightening Our Belts…It’s All About Saving More and Spending Less: Krissy looks rising prices in the face and reminds us that MoMs are often financial stewards for their family.
Wake Up Call: MamaCyn found that the supplies for her first child, paired with thoughtful gifts, kept her from noticing the real challenges of affording multiples, the first few months.
Back 2 the Future: Baby, You’re So Money: Jen B. looks back on the real financial strain her family was under and wishes she’d explored assistance programs. She might not qualified, but it would have been worth checking out.
Ask the Moms – To Work or Not to Work? Goddess in Progress discusses the different paid employment paths MoMs may take. Finances play a large part in the decision of whether or not to pursue a career outside the family.
How to Afford Twins: Introduction: ldskatelyn introduces our 2013 moneysaving post series.

General Approaches to Saving

In these posts, The Moms talk about their approaches to cutting costs.

Product Review: Used Stuff: LauraC talks about saving by buying second-hand, especially at multiple group consignment sales.
Product Review: Top 5 Baby Products You Need to Have for Multiples: LauraC identifies products that are worth spending on in preparation for twins.
Product Review: 5 Products You Can Live Without: She also tells us what not to bother buying.
Preparing Your Financial for Multiples: Seeking the top 3 practical financial planning pointers to new and expectant parents? LauraC has you covered.
Saving Money with Multiples Theme Week Round Up: Our first saving-themed week was in 2011. In this post, Jenna summarizes the content from the week.
Spending that Works for Me: lunchldyd identifies the “extra” expenditures that keep her family functioning.
How to Afford Twins: Free Activities: RebeccaD and Sadia give a rundown of kid-friendly activities available at no cost.
How to Afford Twins: Reviewing My Finances: Sadia talks about what she did to make ends meet after her divorce.
How to Afford Twins: US Government Assistance and Other Resources: ldskatelyn talks about support for low-income parents.
How to Afford Twins: Get Your Finances in Order: ldskatelyn gives some pointers on spiffing up your finances.

Curbing Specific Expenses

There are a whole bunch of other areas of your life in which you can find savings. For instance, I save on gas by telecommuting one day a week and filling up at the grocery store pump, where the prices are always lower than at the gas station. We’ve put together a few more targeted saving-related From the Archives posts, specifically on food, diapers, clothes and gear and childcare.

Here are some other specific saving ideas from The Moms.

Your Registry Cheatsheet: Krissy helps out first-time moms with her suggestions for what to buy before the babies show up. Don’t forget to check out the comments for advice from our readers!
Room for Two: Reanbean‘s twins share a room, meaning they didn’t have to buy a new house right away.
Pimp My Ride! The equipment needed to transport multiples can add up. Jamie gives us some pointers on ways to cut those costs.
Planning a Date Night for the Whole Family: Sara points out that you don’t always have to hire a babysitter to have a date night if you bring the kids.
Photographing Babies: lunchldyd talks about how to make the most of a photo shoot with littles.
Guest Post: Design Tips to Make Room for Two (or More!): Mike Freiberg from HomeDaddys gives some ideas to how to furnish your home to accommodate more than one new little person.
From the Archives: What Do I Really Need for Twins?: ldskatelyn talks about what she really needed and what she found she could do without. As you’ll see in the comments, one mom’s trash is another mom’s absolute need!
How to Afford Twins: Making the Most of Memberships and Subscriptions: Sadia talks about how to invest wisely in memberships and get the biggest bang for your buck.
How to Afford Twins: Make It or Do It Yourself: RebeccaD shows us that you don’t have to buy everything. I little creativity can save a lot of money.
How to Afford Twins: Cutting Back Expenses: MandyE talks about the expenses she cut after her twin girls joined the family.

What expenses would you like advice on cutting?

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From the Archives: Back to School

August 26, 2013November 12, 2013Sadia and Jen Wood
From the Archives, Preschoolers, School, School-Ageback to (pre)school theme weekLeave a comment

It’s time for a new school year in the US. Some of The Moms’ kids are going to school for the first time, while others are old hands at this. Some of us have kids in public elementary schools, while others are structuring in-home pre-schools or homeschooling older kids. All week we will be sharing posts old and new on Back to School. And if you haven’t already, please join us over on our HDYDI Facebook Page to continue the discussion.

Classroom Placement Thoughts

If you’re going to read one post on twins at school, please let it be Dr. Segal’s. She is a researcher and expert in twin matters, and her post is a thoughtful examination of the realities of multiples’ experiences at school.

Jen B

Jen B‘s boys have had a pretty rotten time at school, with their teacher seeming not to see the value in being able to tell them apart.

It wasn’t all bad, though.

Can I Make My Twins Wear Thing 1 and Thing 2 Shirts?

Sadia

Sadia‘s kids have had more than their share of excitement related to school placement.

She’s also captured other moments in J and M’s experience at school.

Are your kids headed back to school? How’s it going?

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Category: From the Archives

From the Archives: Infertility

General Thoughts on Infertility

Personal Stories that Feature Infertility

From the Archives: Twin Birth Stories

From the Archives: Prematurity and the NICU

In the NICU

Loss

Leaving the NICU

Coming Home

Staying Connected

Mommy Issues

The Aftermath of Prematurity

No NICU

Parenthetically About Prematurity

From the Archives: Multiples and Birth Order

From the Archives: Childcare Expenses

From the Archives: Saving on Food for Families with Multiples

Baby Food

From the Archives: Secondhand Shopping and Shopping Cheaply

From the Archives: How to Afford Twins, Triplets, and More

Cost Concerns

General Approaches to Saving

Curbing Specific Expenses

From the Archives: Back to School

Classroom Placement Thoughts

Other School-Related Posts

Jen B

Sadia