Category Archives: Breastfeeding

The 4am Feed

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I confess. I am lazy.

That’s the secret to my efficiency. For example, I’ve got the 4am feed down to a 20-minute science. It took some tweaking for the babies to cooperate, but now most days they do. Actually a lot of what I’m doing now is what I did with Toddler, only I had forgotten until I had to rediscover it all over again. So, if you must do a middle-of-the-night feed, here are some tricks I’ve found that work great for me.

First, not part of the efficiency thing, but greatly helpful to set your babies up for sleep, dim the lights down to one very low wattage bulb. I think mine is 10 watts. It sits in the corner of the room farthest away from the babies. The babies get a clean diaper, swaddled, then placed in their spots in the cosleeper. I sometimes play soft music from my iPhone for them (Pandora’s Lullabye station). Then…

1. Feed babies as much as possible before going to bed. In our case, babies load up before sleeping for good, often 6 ounces over a couple of feedings starting at around 9:30pm. They’re usually out by 11pm.

2. Before going to bed, get all bottles and pump accessories for the night/early morning ready. For me, this means putting nipples on and labeling all bottles. I usually have two bottles of formula made also, as backup. All pump flanges and bottles are clean and screwed together, ready to use.

3. Pump one last time and go to sleep at the same time as the babies. It’s tempting to watch a little TV or get things done while they’re asleep, but I’ve noticed they sleep better with me nearby and I really value my own sleep. I’m sometimes already drifting off while they’re still rustling to settle in.

4. Do not get up before they’re supposed to. If they loaded up on milk before going down, they don’t need to be fed until 4am. Usually all I have to do is replace the paci for the rustling baby and they’re back out before they can really wake up. Toddler never took a paci, so I would just jiggle her bassinet a little and she’d go back to sleep.

5. When the time does come to feed, pop a bottle in the mouth of the hungry one and prop it with whatever you have (I use their blankets). Then do the same with the other one, even if he/she is still fast asleep. They’re still swaddled, so no chance of waving arms knocking the bottles out. My babies will eat while asleep and keep sleeping afterwards without even waking up. I also no longer burp or change them (unless there’s poop) in the middle of the night.

6. While they are eating, pump. There’s a way to secure the flanges with the insides of your elbows by resting the bottles on your thighs, so that you can read your iPhone or reprop a bottle  when necessary. When I’m done, babies have finished eating and have probably also fallen asleep. All I have to do is retrieve their bottles. I leave the flanges on the bottles I just pumped, and everything is left on the nightstand until morning.

7. I can usually do this while still half-asleep myself. Sometimes I will get up to drink some water, pee, and read my phone for a bit in bed before sleeping again, but I can just as easily go right back to sleep. My babies will sleep until 9am, if I replace the paci for them a couple of times starting around 7am. I am usually up by 8ish to watch Toddler after Husband leaves for work, so I can get in a pump and have breakfast with her before they wake up.

Another plus to this is, they usually wake at the same time! That means the day starts off with them on the same schedule. It usually doesn’t stay that way, and I’ve given up imposing a strict togetherness, but sometimes they can stay within a half hour of each other all day.

I’m looking forward to them sleeping all the way till morning and taking regular solid naps (Toddler did it before she was their age), but I think this is as good as it gets for a middle-of-the-night feeding (for twins). But I’ll gladly take any other suggestions to streamline things even further!

lunchldyd is mom to an almost 3 yr old daughter and 4 month old b/g twins, taking whatever sleep she can get!

Breastmilk, Meet Formula

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I am fortunate that I have been able to exclusively breastfeed my twin boys for the first six months of their lives. Well, they had a little formula in the first week of life when I was re-hospitalized for a uterine lining infection after an emergency c-section. On the plus side, I never had to rent that hospital-grade pump, because I was in the hospital! Seriously, that was what I kept repeating to myself as I desperately sought a plus side to being separated from my 4-day-old infants. I was so committed to getting my boys that breastmilk.

And I did. I managed to successfully navigate soreness, scheduling, supply-building, growth spurts, cluster feeding, and nursing tandem. Breastfeeding has been a huge source of both pain and pride.

However, at the boys’ recent 6-month check up we learned that they are not gaining weight adequately, despite growing in length and hitting developmental milestones (ahead of schedule, cough cough brag brag). I sort of suspected something was up because over the past couple of weeks, they have increased to 10 feedings per day and are starting to fuss around feedings. I hoped it was the 6-month growth spurt, or maybe due to a recent round of colds we’ve been sharing, but the scale doesn’t lie. They weren’t getting enough.

This was devastating news because somewhere along the way, I let breastfeeding get pretty wrapped up in my worth as a mom. Maybe even as a woman. In that light, I was a huge failure. I mean, with twins you do basically have someone on the boob 800,000 times per day. It’s easy to feel like it’s all you do, even though it really isn’t.

We decided to start with one bottle of formula per day. We picked the most stressful feeding, the one right before bed. Usually, I’m tired and frazzled, they’re tired and want all my attention, dad stands there helplessly. Awesome way to make bedtime as stressful as possible! That night we each took a baby and a bottle and snuggled in. I’ll admit to some silent tears (I’d never fed my babies a bottle before) and then a different kind of sadness when I realized how damned big my ego had gotten over this breastfeeding thing. It was so peaceful cuddling one baby while dad cradled the other, knowing they could get all the attention and food they needed. For the first time since they were born, there was no pressure to be everything to everyone.

The next day I was able to celebrate the benefits of supplementing, as well as give myself a hearty congratulations for making it to 6 months. I also scaled back the hyperbole and reminded myself it’s literally one bottle per day, Miss Perfectionistpants. But I also mourned a little. My role as a mom was shifting slightly. Would I still be special to my sons?

How I underestimated myself and those little fellows.

The next day, both babies were under the weather – vaccinations plus a lingering virus had them pretty run down. At bed time, M downed a 7 ounce bottle. R took only a couple ounces, but he’d been snacking all day because I let him stay attached during naps (this stopped being cute like 2 months ago but I can’t seem to break the habit for good). Knowing they were good and fed, we sang a little song and put them in bed like always. But my sick little guys started fussing right away. Couldn’t possibly be hunger! Meds were already administered. Rocking, patting, nothing was helping.

Finally I nursed R while dad rocked M. I couldn’t think of anything else to do. He quieted immediately. I have no idea how much food R actually got, but I’m convinced it wasn’t calories that he needed. It was being wrapped up in mommyness. He needed me, plain and simple. When I laid him down, he fell right to sleep. Then I took M and did the same. The kid just had 7 oz and his brother had surely drained whatever was in my breast, but he nuzzled in just the same and became calm and peaceful. After a few moments I was able to lay him down too.

Thank God for formula. If the boys hadn’t had a bottle, all of that comfort-needing would have been totally mixed up with hunger and they would have gotten hysterical. I would have had to juggle them both at once, tandem feed, and try to comfort simultaneously. I wouldn’t have been able to indulge in that peaceful, individual time with each baby, no rushing, no concern about “saving” some milk for the other. They each would have gotten only 50% of me.

Isn’t this the toughest part about being a twin mom? When they both just need you and you have to figure out how they are going to share?

Being a mom is so much more awesome than being food. However we comfort our little ones, in our own special way, satisfies them deeply. By letting go of being the only food source, I realized I can be even more abundantly a comfort source.

My current goal is to make it to a year mostly breastfeeding. And my second goal is to appreciate the space formula allows me to exercise other dimensions of being a mom – including more flexible comfort logistics.

Are twins just cosmically given to control freaks to teach us a life lesson? Any other Type-As out there trying to accept that you can’t do it all?

Quad Momma +1 Intro

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Hello everyone!

I thought I would take a moment to introduce myself!   My name is Paige, and I live just outside of Parry Sound, Ontario, Canada.

I am happily married to my husband Greg, and we just celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary.  We have a beautiful 4 year old girl, and recently welcomed home GGBB quadruplets, who are now 20weeks old, 11 weeks corrected.

I have been blogging throughout our journey at www.lubbelinkhof.ca if you’d like to check us out from the start.

Here are a few things you should know about me:

#1 – I am a Christian, and while I don’t typically blog about this it may come up.

#2 – I have PCOS.  I do not ovulate.

#3 – We took medications to get pregnant.

#4 – I breastfeed 90% and supplement 10%.  Yes it can be done! :)

#5 – I tell it like it is. I am not super mom. I do not pretend to be.

#6 – Our oldest daughter is Madelyn Grace.  She was born a healthy 7 pounds 11 ounces at 38 weeks.  Next up our babies were born at 31 weeks 1 day, and the first is Jessa Joy, followed by Alyssa Faith, Brett Paul, and Colton Gregory. We spent 1 week in the Level 3 NICU in Toronto, then 5 weeks in the Level 2 NICU in Orillia.

#7 – All of our kiddos are healthy, however we do receive support from PT for Alyssa & Colton. Alyssa also receives OT for her “over active” vestibular system, and Infant Development follows all of our kids.

#8 – I love answering questions so fire away! The only way to find out is to ask. Its much easier for me to answer them then to come up with random blogs on my own, so if there’s something specific you’d like to see, let me know!

#9 – Because of the current craziness of life my posts are likely to be sporadic, but I want to attempt my best to post here as often as I can!  Please feel free to reach me at paigelubbelinkhof@gmail.com or comment here.

Until next time,

Mrslubby.

Breastfeeding Woes

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I have had three children, but I have never breastfed. Correction, my babies have never fed from my breast. Other than a few minutes in the hospital when they might have gotten a few drops, I do not know what it feels like to nurse a baby. I pump and they do still get breastmilk, but it is from a bottle.

Somehow, my intentions to breastfeed is always trumped by some other need: for my nipples not to hurt, for the ease of having someone else feed the baby, for the speed of pumping and bottlefeeding.

While pregnant with my first, I was blissfully unaware that there may even be difficulties breastfeeding. Women have been doing it for eternity, I had friends who nurse without a problem, and it didn’t occur to me that I would be any different. After Toddler was born, nurses told me she had a great latch. But due to the c-section, my body took its time to produce milk. I think it wasn’t until day 6 when I came home that anything even began coming out. Meanwhile, the baby developed jaundice and needed to eat. Doctors and nurses told me she needed to be fed formula, and she was under bili-lights for 2 or 3 days. As first time parents, we panicked that our 8 lb. baby was starving. So though I really wanted to breastfeed, we gave her formula as directed, fed from a cup.

When my milk did finally come in, it was not enough for her. She was voracious! Her latch must have not been as great as the nurses told me, because my nipples were not just sore, they were bleeding blisters. Suffice it to say, I dreaded feeding my daughter. That is when I decided to just pump and give my nipples a rest. Oh my! She took to the bottle like a champ. Feedings now took only 5 minutes whereas nursing would be seemingly nonstop. Pumping only took 10 minutes, so altogether even adding in the time for washing the bottles and pump pieces I still made out. So somehow I just never made it back to nursing. I figured with going back to work anyway, might as well just pump full time. Spurred on with the guilt I felt for not being able to nurse her, I exclusively pumped for 8 months. By the end, I was so jealous of those women who never had to wash a pump piece or even know what a pump was.

The second time around, I knew I didn’t want to be washing bottles and pump pieces anymore. A good friend of mine had successfully nursed her twins for over a year, so I thought I could attempt it at least. I planned an extended maternity leave to relieve the pressure of returning to work. I even attended a few La Leche meetings and heard more stories of breastfed twins. I was not so naive this time, however. I knew now that it wasn’t all butterflies and flowers. Even successful breastfeeding had its drawbacks. But still, wanting to be able to nurse my twins created the most anxiety for me throughout all of my pregnancy.

In the hospital this time, I demanded attention from the lactation consultant. She visited me every day, multiple times a day. But c-section again, I had no milk. Baby boy latched ok sometimes, but baby girl wasn’t getting the hang of it. It felt kind of silly to practice latching while I had no milk, like we were just teasing them. So after a couple days we spent a small fortune on two bottles with special nipples that supposedly mimics suckling from a breast and gave them formula, still holding out hope that nursing would happen in the future.

But in my sleep deprived and hormonal-emotional state, I just didn’t have it in me to persevere. No suffering with sore nipples, wondering whether my babies were eating enough, crying with them during feedings this time for me. I gave in, went to exclusive pumping, and even ditched that stupid specially designed nipple in favor of faster feedings.

Every two hours during the day, I spend 10 minutes with my pump. It’s a love-hate relationship. I’ve managed to get to almost 40 oz a day, but with two babies to feed sometimes we still need to give a bottle of formula, and that’s ok. While not the ideal peacefully-tandem-nursing-while-I-lovingly-gaze-at-them situation that I dreamed of, pumping definitely has had its advantages. Husband can feed one when I’m feeding the other, we know exactly how much each baby is eating, I actually get some time to myself while I’m pumping, and best of all: I’ve had the chance to leave the house, tend to Toddler, and do other things in two-hour increments without having a baby on me half the time and being on-call for feedings the other half.

It’s a demanding pump schedule for sure– hopefully I can get to 3 hr increments without losing too much output. And though I plan to continue for as long as I can handle to provide breastmilk for my babies, I will not be beating myself up about it. I suppose I will always feel Mommy-guilt for one parenting decision or another, but I’m finally at peace with this one.

How have you chosen to feed your multiples, and why?

lunchldyd is a mom to an almost 3 yr old daughter and her 3 month old twin brother and sister. She is also a high school teacher. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband, 3 children under 3, and two neglected dogs.

 

Energy-Smart Nutrition for New Moms

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The concept of “eating for two” has always been associated with pregnancy, but you shouldn’t stop eating for three (or more!) as soon as your children are born, especially if you’re nursing. What a new mom eats can have a direct effect on her babies’ health, so it’s important to be aware of what foods and drinks you’re putting into your body and to make sure you’re getting enough calories and calcium for everyone.

Additionally, new moms who follow healthy, balanced post-baby diets will likely be more energized and better-equipped to handle the stresses of newborns, no matter how many you have! To keep yourself and your new children healthy as you head into post-pregnancy life, use the following guidelines to get an idea of what nutritional choices are best for new moms—and their new multiples!

General Guidelines:

New nursing moms should still be eating more calories than they just need for themselves and should focus on getting a lot of low-fat calcium. Avoid spicy foods like chilies and peppers and stick to foods that are easy to digest. Eat nutrient-rich meals and snacks at regular intervals to keep your energy up; you’ll need a lot of it if you’re dealing with multiples!

Protein

One of the best ways to keep your energy up as a new mom is to make sure you’re getting lots and lots of good-for-you proteins. Lean chicken and salmon are two great ways to consume this protein; salmon is especially high in good fats and can assist with brain function, but be careful not to eat too much of it since it’s high in mercury. Aside from meat, eggs are also high in protein. Tempeh, tofu and beans are good vegetarian and vegan food options.

Whole grains

Whole grains provide folic acid, a nutrient crucial in newborn development. Aside from that, whole grains are wonderful sources of fiber and iron. Make a bowl of oatmeal, use whole grain bread for sandwiches and choose whole grain pasta options to make sure you’re getting a good dose.

Calcium

New moms need more calcium than most women, so make sure you’re filling your body with good-for-you calcium sources. Low-fat yogurts, skim milk and low-fat cheeses are easy to work into quick and easy meals and snacks; add some fruit to your yogurts for an extra serving of nutrients.

Fruits and Veggies

Getting plenty of vitamins and antioxidants as a new mom is crucial for a healthy diet and will assist with your babies’ healthy development, too. Blueberries are an excellent source of antioxidants and oranges are a great source of vitamin C for nursing women who need extra quantities. Leafy greens like spinach and kale are also good antioxidants and provide a host of other vitamins new moms need.

Drinks

Although you may feel like you need a constant stream of espresso with newborns, going overboard on the caffeine isn’t a good idea. A cup of coffee is fine, but drinking one every five minutes will backfire when you when you crash later on. Keep the caffeine to a minimum and instead energize with some of the foods mentioned above.

Author Bio: This is a guest post by Meredith K. on behalf of Lightlife®. For high-protein products and vegetarian recipes for new moms on a vegetarian diet, visit www.lightlife.com.

Reunited

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I got the best news in a long time today. A college friend’s twin boys were reunited at 2 months old. Her second NICU baby got to come home from the hospital, 7 weeks after his brother.

In the middle of the joy I felt for my friend, though, I felt an upwelling of the sadness, anger and helplessness that tainted the joy of my own babies’ release from the hospital, over 5 years ago. Homecoming is one of the ways that the NICU experience can differ for parents of premature multiples in comparison to preemie singletons. Many twins and triplets are released from the hospital simultaneously, but many are not.

Our daughters were born 7 weeks early, but had few problems apart from their small size. J had a hole in her heart, which eventually resolved itself, and M had a facial cleft that turned out not even to require surgery. Neither of these conditions required hospitalization, so they were textbook “feeder growers,” newborns who were hospitalized until they had fattened up enough to maintain their own body temperature and had the strength to suck enough nutrition to keep them healthy.

Our girls didn’t need any assistance breathing; they’ve been verbal and long-winded since the start. They were keep in warm isolettes, and fed a mixture of high calorie formula and my breast milk through feeding tubes inserted through their noses and threaded into their stomachs. Every three hours came a diaper change, weighing, blood sugar measurement, temperature measurement and feeding. We watched every number as they rose and fell, and I promised myself I would take notes when they got home so as not to double feed one baby and starve the other. J and M were cared for by the same nurse, so their schedules were offset by 15 minutes. One benefit to having NICU babies was that they were on a clockwork schedule by the time they came home.

There were 3 criteria to be met, we were told, before the girls could come home. They had to weigh 5 lbs (2.25 kg), be able to maintain their own body temperature, and take 8 meals in a row by mouth, drinking at least 31 mls of formula/breast milk each time. Every now and then, when J asks for her “warmed up milk, please,” at breakfast or dinner, I wonder at the way she guzzles 8 oz of milk down and think back to the days I tried to get her drink 1 oz by force of will alone.

We wanted all the girls’ energy to go to growing at first. Somewhere in the first week, I think, they were introduced to doll-sized bottles. It took a few tries to get them to suck, first 1 ml, then 3, more and more each meal. They finally made it up to 31 mls at a time, but couldn’t keep it up two meals in a row. It was just too much work.

M couldn’t finish her bottle at every feeding, but she made an effort. Once, I was even allowed to let her suckle at my breast, although the nurses took her away before she exhausted herself. J was less predictable. She’d suck like a champ and then suddenly get distracted, seemingly more interested in playing with the bottle than drinking from it. Two weeks in, she broke our hearts by refusing two meals in a row and being put back on her feeding tube. It was the only time I saw my husband so upset that he couldn’t stay in the NICU to monitor every last detail of our babies’ care. A friend took him out for a beer.

When our girls were 2 weeks old, the hospital staff pronounced them to be the healthiest babies in the NICU. They could afford to be downgraded to a less fancy-schmancy NICU within the same hospital network. We talked it through and agreed to free up their beds. However, when the paperwork arrived, we were asked to sign a waiver releasing both the hospitals and the ambulance service of responsibility for the babies during their transport. There was no way we were signing that, so the girls stayed put.

Two days later, M was ready to come home. She hadn’t quite made the weight cutoff, but they couldn’t see any reason she wouldn’t be just fine at home. She passed the carseat test, and home we went.

It takes a lot of blankets to secure a baby of less than 5 lbs in a carseat.

J was still on her feeding tube. I felt more torn as a mother of twins in that moment than I ever did before or since. I was celebrating the health of one of my daughters, but leaving the other alone at the hospital, without even her sister with her. My husband was away for an army training exercise, and I was still recovering from my C-section. Fortunately, my father-in-law was able to stay for 3 weeks, and drove us the 30 miles to the hospital every day so that I could deliver breast milk and steal a few moments with J. I couldn’t stay too long, though, since M was in her carseat in the hospital parking garage with Grampy.

After 5 long, agonizing days, J was ready to come home. It finally felt like my life as a parent could start. My friend just ended 48 days of that waiting, and I hope that her heart can finally begin to heal.

Did you get to bring your babies home at the same time?

Sadia’s daughters, M and J, are still short for their nearly 6 years, but Sadia is short for her nearly 33, so it works out nicely. They guzzle milk, grow, and keep each other busy in El Paso, TX.

"We did it!" Breastfeeding Multiples

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Whether or not to breast feed is a difficult decision to make and for mothers of multiples because it is also complicated by the need to adjust to caring for multiples.

Tandem nursing our twins with 18 month old big brother supervising

I found that for me, the advantages of breastfeeding far outweighed the disadvantages. Nutritional value and money savings aside, I love how breast feeding allows for closeness between mother and baby. After the babies were born, I never felt like I had the same quality time that I enjoyed with their 18 month old brother. Yes, things were crazy, but the 30 minutes we had together to nurse helped me to connect with the babies. First we connected as a team, “We can do this!” Now that they are bigger and eat much faster, I enjoy my one on one time with each baby.

Physical exhaustion will play a toll and make you want to quit at times, however I felt wiped out just thinking about the alternative pumping and bottle feeding. Things were not easy for us at first. My boys were born at 32 weeks gestation and spend two weeks in the NICU. The best thing you can do in that situation is not to panic when you are not able to breastfeed. I know there is a lot of discussion on the interwebs about people lamenting about how they weren’t able to breastfeed because the baby had to have formula first. Preemies will most likely start out with a feeding tube and progress to bottles, but I want you to know that just because they can’t nurse directly from your breast does not mean that they never will.

Kangaroo Care in the NICU with feeding tubes

 

So how do you prepare once you decide that you want to breast feed your multiples?

Prepare to Pump: The average gestational age at birth for twins is 36 weeks and the average NICU stay for premature twins is 14 days. Mothers who deliver their babies at 40 weeks should consider themselves lucky, although they may not be feeling all that lucky by 40 weeks (Yikes!)

The reality is that your multiples will be born earlier than a singleton baby and will likely spend a week or so in the NICU. If you decide that you want to breastfeed your babies, your first goal should be to prepare to pump because it is very likely that your babies will not be ready to nurse from the breast the minute they are born.

60% of mothers used a breast pump at some time. You will probably need to use a pump. If you can’t afford to rent or buy a hospital grade pump, check with your local WIC department. You may be eligible to use one of their hospital grade pumps for free. If you are planning on returning to work, you may want to consider buying a double electric pump if you can afford it.

Just a side note, you cannot stock up breast milk before your babies are born (well, at least your own). I have heard several anxious mothers express a desire to do this, but your milk will not come in until after the babies have been born. It may take a few days for it to arrive, but keep pumping. I went from having a drop of milk a day after my twins were born to coming home two weeks later with five gallon size Zip-lock bags filled with frozen breast milk containers.

 Plan to Eat: Breastfeeding is a workout girls and you’ve got to be properly fueled for the burn. The nursing mother burns an average of 500 calories per baby breastfeeding. Non lactating women need a minimum of 1200 calories a day so lactating women need to be eating at least 1700 calories a day.  If you find that you are having trouble with your milk supply or you are not losing weight, track your food on a free program like myfitnesspal.com and make sure you are getting enough to eat.

Prepare for challenges: Nursing twins has a whole slew of unique challenges that you will have to work through. I highly recommend synchronizing your babies schedules at first and nursing at the same time once they are able to nurse from the breast. If one baby is not ready to nurse from the breast, you could give him a bottle while the other is nursing. Mothering Multiples: Breastfeeding and Caring for Twins or More! (La Leche League International Book) is a great breast feeding resource from La Leche specifically for mothers of multiples.

Just because you have twins does not mean that you get a free pass from some of the other breast feeding obstacles. Our boys both had really bad tongue tie that we had to work through before they could nurse. A resources like kellymom.com or even finding a local La Leche group or lactation consultant is a great idea. You may even want to consider getting connected with local lactation specialist prior to the arrival of your multiples. They may be able to help you develop a game plan for breast feeding your babies, and you may feel comfortable contacting them when you need help if you have already met them.

We just made it through our first six months of exclusively breastfeeding and now we are beginning our journey by introducing solid foods. Although it is nice to be able to feed them from a spoon, I still look forward to each one of my ten mini nursing sessions each day (five for each baby).

If you are planning to breastfeed, I hope this article will help. If there are any moms who want to comment with tips for breastfeeding twins after going back to work, please do so in the comments below. I know there are several moms who would love to hear from you.

 What helped you when breastfeeding two or more?

Jamie is the mini van rocking mama to three lively boys, big brother age 2 and identical twins age 6 months. Check out Jamie’s blog and podcast, The Playdate Crashers. 

what I wish someone told me

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I was asked if I could talk to a mom who is expecting twins by a teacher at our preschool drop in.  Long story short, the expectant mom is a neighbour who I see almost daily walking her two kids to school though we have never got beyond a nod and a “hello, how are you?” before.  She is usually walking by while I’m wrestling my toddlers into their stroller and yelling at the dog to just “BE QUIET ALREADY!”  (It’s been surprisingly difficult to tone down my language and drop the “shut ups” now that we have kids but that’s another post. I never say “shut up” to people, just my dog. He’s very yappy.  Anyway.)

So we finally had a “quiet” moment to talk while all our kids were busy playing or at school.  My new friend already has two kids, one in school and one still home.  She appears to me to be overwhelmed by the surprise of two babies on the way and I feel real sympathy for what is ahead of her in the next year.

When I had my twins almost 19 months ago, they were my first and I was lucky enough to be able to stay home on (almost) bed rest for two months before they arrived.  I could just nap and eat. And once they were here, it was challenging to say the least, but I had no other little ones to care for.

What did I need to hear when I was pregnant with two?  That it would be OK.  That it would be hard, but that we would get through it.

My friends with kids warned me that “You’ll never sleep again!  Ha! Ha!”  The sleep deprivation was no joke.

That breastfeeding can be very challenging for some and that most likely you will need to supplement with formula until your milk comes in and you get yourself some rest. That there are ways to boost your milk supply with diet, herbs, pumping, and/or medication.  See a lactation consultant before you even leave the hospital if need be.  Oh, and pumping sucks.  You just gotta do it.

That if you can afford it (and I couldn’t) get yourself a night nanny so that you can take care of your babies with a clear head.  That they will stop crying.

And don’t do it by yourself.  When people offer to help, take it.  When people want to visit the babies, ask them to bring food.  Do the dishes, wash the bottles, walk the dog, fold the laundry, take the babies for a walk in the stroller.  You don’t need to  do it all yourself.  People want to help you, they just need you to tell them how.

We are in year two now, and though it has it’s own challenges, life is so much easier than in those early days with two newborns.

It does get better.  And you can do it.  And it’s so worth it.

What do you wish someone told you when you were pregnant with multiples?

You can catch up with me and my toddler twin boys at http://littlegrovers.blogspot.com/

Mom’s first Christmas

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I was supposed to post this yesterday but it was delayed by two little girls with runny noses trying to use up their body weight in Kleenex,  a playschool field trip, and an after-hours visit from the plumber.

Two years ago, I was very pregnant with my twin daughters, and considering the possibility of Christmas babies.  As Christmas approached, my family members wanted to know what to get me.  Knowing that I would have two little babies arriving within weeks of Christmas, I wrote my Christmas list accordingly:

  1. Our prenatal class instructor told us families expecting multiples needed three things: a king-sized bed, a lazy-boy-style recliner and a freezer full of meals.  I think they are all good suggestions, but we managed without the first two items.
  2. I planned to breastfeed our babies, so I asked for some nursing tops that would work for tandem feedings.  I also got a nursing loungewear outfit that I could wear during the day without feeling I was wearing my pjs.
  3. I knew that while breastfeeding, I wasn’t going to be doing much else, so I asked for books.  After a few years of grad school, I enjoyed all those novels and magazines. I often found myself reading to my 2-year-old son while breastfeeding, or zoning out in front of the TV, but I did enjoy the books, too.
  4. I got a TV show on DVD. For the evening feedings, I could also be sure to have something watch.  By this time of day I was too tired for much else but watching TV and eating.  It took most of the first year to get through 7 seasons of STTNG; an episode was usually long enough to feed both babies.
  5. While breastfeeding, I was eating and drinking more than I did while pregnant.  I enjoyed the herbal teas, flavoured steamed milk, and water out of my new water bottle.  And the kind of snacks you get at Christmas but wouldn’t usually buy for yourself.
  6. A telephone headset was great since I usually had at least one child needing my attention. It let me have adult conversation, emotional support and to get appointments booked while feeding babies, making snacks for a toddler or changing diapers.
  7. Happy and healthy babies are the best gift of all.  They were a wonderful Christmas gift, but I’m glad they arrived a few weeks after the holidays.

Merry Christmas to all the new moms of multiples, and the moms to be!

Weaning on two (or three!) different timelines

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For a number of reasons including my sore back, my schoolwork demands, and our childcare schedule, I’m getting more proactive about weaning. (And, I think I read heard imagined that toddlers stop breastfeeding and start walking about the same time. Since our girls are almost 18 months old and still not walking, maybe this will speed thing up).

For the last couple of months, I’ve shifted more and more to the “don’t offer, don’t refuse” approach to feeding during the day with scheduled feedings first thing in the morning and at bedtime. A couple of weeks ago, I cut out the morning feed.  Now, they are usually just feeding at bedtime, though sometimes if I’ve been working all day and dinner is going to be later, I feed them to address both their hunger and need for mommy-time.

I’ve been convinced for a while that R is ready to wean. She is most interested in breastfeeding when her sister is doing it. She does not initiate or expect to feed nearly as often as her sister. When I cut out their morning feedings and went straight from bed to breakfast, and she didn’t even fuss. In the afternoon, I can distract her with tickles or by looking out the window.  At bedtime, she is often too distracted to really feed.  She is more interested in what her sister and brother are doing, or in watching the ceiling fan, or “honking” my nose.  After two or three interruptions in as many minutes, I give her a hug and kiss and put her to bed.

My other girl, S, is on her own weaning schedule. When I started the “don’t offer, don’t refuse” approach, she was wanting to feed on the same schedule as before (after meals, before and after nap, in morning and at bedtime, at least). She comes looking to breastfeed way more often than her sister, and she is hard to distract. When I cut out the morning feeding, for a few days, I had to sneak in and take her to the other room to feed her before R woke up because she was so upset about not eating.  Even after a couple of weeks, she still wants milk first thing in the morning, though I’m not feeding her. When she sees me after a day of work, she wants to feed and a bedtime, she feeds without interruptions, and often asks for “more.”

I was hoping to phase out evening feeds in the next week or so, but I don’t see that happening. S is still very much interested in breastfeeding and R wants the same attention as her sister.  With their big brother, we changed his bedtime routine so Daddy put him to bed with a story instead of breastfeeding with me.  But, our schedule right now won’t support that change. So, unless the girls wean themselves, I think we’ll continue like this for another month or so.

How did you wean your children?  Did they wean at the same time? If not, how did you deal with it?