Category Archives: Potty Training

Back 2 the Future: Twin flashbacks

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My twins are 5 now. Five! When I’m out with the kids, I’m more likely to be asked whether they and their older sister are triplets, than I am to be asked whether the boys are twins. The spectacle of twinfants in a double stroller is behind us, replaced by the more alarming spectacle of my energetic, exuberant children in public.

After reading Goddess in Progress’s fantastic post, Absolving the Guilt, I decided to focus my HDYDI posts on the various nagging worries, frighteningly strong emotions, and unpleasant aspects of having very young multiples. And, more specifically, how those worries and scary thoughts (“Can’t I give them back??”) and unpleasant things (for example, urgently needing to use the toilet in a public place, with your toddler collection in tow) have resolved themselves.

I want to do this for several reasons. First, I love to complain. Unfortunately, my kids are getting so much easier now that I don’t have much current complaint fodder, so I have to go vintage. Second, I worried that I was a terrible mother for some of the thoughts and feelings I had during my early mothering career. I worried that no one else felt the same way. I hope I can make other parents feel less awful for composing a lullabye that includes “shut up, just shut up” as part of the lyrics. Third, I’ve spent about 5 years now assuring other parents of twins that it gets easier. Now I’ll try to pin down how and when.

Someone on my regular blog just commented about the ages of 4-11 being “the sweet spot,” where things are pretty easy. I did a little math and found that the average of my kids’ ages is 4.5, and I am definitely feeling the sweet spot thing. It just hit in the last few months.

Example: Going outside to play. There was a time when taking my kids out to play was like the riddle where you have to get a wolf, a cow, and some hay across a pond without anything getting eaten. I couldn’t carry both twins at once, and I couldn’t leave one twin outside eating God-knows-what off the ground while I went to get the other one. More recently, going outside meant I had to physically dress four little people plus myself, and usually my oldest would have peed her pants by the time we got outdoors.

Now, life is sweet. My oldest dresses herself (and doesn’t pee herself! Whee!!!), and the twins will dress themselves if I talk them through it to keep things moving. They can put on their own shoes and coats. And, they can play outside without me!!!! Even the “baby,” who is nearly 3 so I should stop calling her the baby.

Can you imagine the glory of preparing dinner in solitude while your children chase each other with sticks in your backyard? Ladies and gents, this dream is coming your way.

Jen is the married work-from-home mother of 7-year-old Miss A, 5-year-old identical boys G and P, and 2-year-old Haney Jane. She blogs at Diagnosis: Urine.

Summer Weather + Relaxation = Potty Training?

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With our singleton, every milestone and transition came with a plan. Stopping the bottle, transitioning to a big girl bed, potty training, you name it. We had a well-researched, discussed-to-death plan for all of those things. And, in the end, all of those transitions took longer than I would have liked and almost all came with regressions and tears.

When we found out we were having twin boys, I thought “Oh God, I need more PLANS”. I started analyzing how and when we did certain things with our daughter and trying to mentally alter the plans. But so far, they’ve made all the transitions on their own and rather spontaneously. With NO PLANS. Dropping the bottle and going to cup only. Check. Sleep schedules. Check. Crib-to-bed transition. Check.

We’ve turned the corner on two years and next up on the list: Potty-training. I had always thought we wouldn’t even introduce this concept until they are 3 because, well, it sounds hard! Two BOYS? No thanks. But after reading about other Multiple Mama’s recent potty successes, Brian and I decided to take advantage of the warm summer weather — and fenced in backyard — and have a go.

First, I took to heart a post from Amazing Trips. The blog has documented the struggles of potty training the triplets. The PLANS, the manuevers, the bribes. Everything. But then this post describes the recent success of potty training the youngest child by simply allowing him the freedom to figure it out. Huh.

I mentioned all this to Brian. The next nice day, he took the boys outside and took off their diapers. He placed a potty seat outside and they all poured water into it while Brian said “potty, potty”. There was a lot of excitement and clapping. And they went on to playing as normal (sans diapers*).

Brady

Then, miraculously, out of the blue, Brady ran over to it yelling “pee pee” and WENT. IN THE POTTY. And then proceeded to do this on a consistent basis for the rest of the morning. And afternoon. And the next day. Nice.

Then, building on LauraC’s thoughts of “peer pressure” when potty-training twins, we decided to focus our energy on Brady, since he seemed to be the one so interested. We put Brady in pull-ups and he tells us potty and he tries. He can pee often, hasn’t pooped yet but is putting in the effort. At some point, Aaron will follow along, right? Right. Aaron now grabs himself (lovely boy habit) and yells “PEE PEE”. And then goes. Wherever he is. So he has the concept of the bodily function down, now we just have to get him to the potty. But, he’s interested because Brady is doing it.

We still have a way to go. But I wanted to thank these (and other) Mothers of Multiples for putting two ideas in my head — that went against the PLANS I was forming — that seem to actually be working!

*Sans diapers AND with blue, princess high-heeled shoes. We’re all about fashion.

Cross-posted at our family blog: www.thewjourney.com

Potty training through twin peer pressure

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During the course of parenting multiples, I have a rotating list of least favorite common comments. I know everyone has them. “Double trouble!” “Two for the price of one!” My current #1 least favorite twin comment that started four months ago: “I bet Alex will start using the potty now that he sees Nate using the potty.”

My boys have been in group care for almost three years. Since they moved to the 2s room a year ago, ALL of the kids in the room sit on the potty four times a day. That’s 50+ potty sittings a day that happen in front of my kids. They see plenty of potty use. They talk about potty use. They see other kids in underwear. They see other kids rewarded for potty use. They see plenty of accidents. The words “poop” and “pee” come out of their mouths as frequently as “mommy!” They sit on the potty themselves at least four times a day.

And it was a four month gap between the time that Nate trained and when Alex trained.

It’s not like we did nothing to prepare the kids for potty training. The above list represents only what day care did. At home, we had booty camps and potty sits and practice runs and sticker charts and incentives. One cold rainy March weekend, Nate decided he wanted to wear underwear. After a weekend booty camp, he was trained. Alex had no interest and peed all over the house the weekends we tried underwear.

At 3 years 2 months, Alex’s tipping point became Nate. Since Nate was potty trained, he got to move up to the 3s room while Alex had to stay in the 2s room. It took one week of Nate being in the 3s room without Alex before Alex decided he was ready to wear underwear. One weekend booty camp later and we have two potty trained boys.

In some ways, my least favorite twin comment is correct. Alex became interested in potty training because Nate was potty trained. But it had nothing to do with watching Nate, seeing Nate’s success, or seeing Nate’s incentives. It was because Alex did not want to be apart from Nate. Knowing that fact makes listening to all the crazy twin comments totally worth it.

Potty training….times two

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My boy/girl twins, Danny & Abigail, are now 27 months old.

Random cute photo---because, really, who wants photos of kids on potties to go along with this topic?

Random cute photo---because, really, who wants photos of kids on potties to go along with this topic?

I know, no one really wants to talk about poop any more than, as moms of two or more little kiddos, we already do. And yet, doesn’t it take up so much of our day? Instead of giving out information or talking about what worked for us, I’m going to solicit you more experienced, wiser moms out there of older, diaper-less twins.

My guys are past two and getting older and more mature every day. We have been talking about the potty for months and have several books that talk about potties. (My husband was horrified when he read one for the first time. Does it have to SHOW the pee on the floor?! Really?! And talk about it incessantly?!). Anyway, we bought them each a potty—bright pink, because I’m not an idiot—I’m going to buy two identical potties–and pink was on sale. Hey, when you’re buying two, $10 off is a nice savings. I can use it to fund my Starbucks habit….

Abigail at the beach

Abigail at the beach

So, we sit on the potty each night, the kids help me flush. They’d like to help wipe too, but hey, even a mom of toddlers has boundaries somewhere. But they sit on the potty, wipe, flush….and are happy to do it. Except, no pee. We’ve been doing this for a while now and are going no where. And, I feel like we could stay here for a while. I know, I know…they may not be ready. But I’d like to give them the chance to show me that. So, I’m asking you moms out there for ideas. What are tips you wish you knew when you were potty-training your twins or singletons? What do you wish you didn’t do? Did do? Help a mom out here!

The unexpected side effect of separating multiples in day care

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My 3 year old fraternal twin boys have been together in group care since they were 3 months old. One of the reasons we chose our day care was that it provided the option to separate the boys at any age group. Our original plan was to separate the boys for a year before “real school” to give them an easier transition. Over the last three years, changes have taken place that limit our opportunities to separate the boys, so they will be together until they go to kindergarten. As we love love love our day care, we are reluctant to move to a new place just to separate the boys. When it comes to quality care for your kids, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

It’s that time of year that day care transitions happen. To move to the 3s room, the boys must be potty trained. Nate is fully trained while Alex is fully in diapers. As we strive to treat the boys as individuals, we opted to move Nate to the 3s room since he is ready. There’s a spot waiting for Alex when he is trained, and we are not-secretly hoping that being separated from Nate will provide Alex with some inspiration to use the potty.

So far, the boys are dealing easily with being separated all day. They run to give each other hugs at the end of the day. But my husband and I have experienced unexpected growing pains! Water Play is Tuesday for Alex, Wednesday for Nate. Show And Tell is Wednesday for Alex, Tuesday for Nate. On and on. The boys have always shared sunscreen, diapers, wipes, and clothes. Now we need to provide two sets of everything. After three years of doing drop off and pick up in the same room and the boys being on the same activity schedule, all of a sudden we need to remember different stuff for each kid for each day.  It seems minor but with the morning scramble already so crazy, it’s a new challenge for us to continually remember who needs what and when.

Mind you, I am not saying it is hard. It had just gotten so EASY to drop them off in the same room with the same stuff on the same schedule. I always think of these day care years as practice for real school so I’m glad we’re going to have a short period to practice life with two kids in different activities. And believe me, when Alex moves to the 3s room, I am going to celebrate our time back on easy street.

Eating my own words

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I’ve been writing my blog for almost 3 1/2 years and reading blogs for longer than that. During that time, I’ve done my fair share of contemplating what to write, what not to share, and what my boundaries are. Long-time readers will note I rarely talk about my job. I also rarely complain about Jon.  I also rarely blog about sleep because I’m too afraid to jinx it when it’s good and too tired to write about it when it’s bad. And while I do talk honestly about the struggles of parenting, I try to do so in a positive manner without complaining about my kids.

One Very Firm Boundary I set for myself was that I was not going to talk about the details of potty training. And I was not going to post a single picture of potty training. My plan was to post vague updates about it until the boys were fully potty trained then mention it casually. Yep… LauraC eating some mighty big blogging words the last two weeks:

 natestanding

What I didn’t understand about potty training is how ALL CONSUMING it is when it starts, particularly when you have two (or more) little ones in the house. First there are the nearly constant trips to the potty. Then there are hits and misses. Hits require minimal clean up and misses require massive clean up from head to toe (and wall and floor and laundry). Trips outside the house have to be carefully planned and executed. There are many loads of laundry. There is so much advice to sort through, weed out, discard, and use. Decisions need to be made. Do we use big potties or little potties? Do we use pullups or underwear only or training underwear? Do we use stickers or M&Ms? Do we train one or both?

The thing is, I am not stressed out about potty training in general. We are taking a very relaxed approach to potty training yet it still consumes 90% of my mental energy when it comes to the kids. This Saturday I am running a half marathon, my longest race since the boys were born. This Sunday I turn 35, which feels like a pretty significant milestone. Yet my brain is still 90% focused on whether or not we will convince Nate to sit on the potty tonight instead of standing. Apparently when you are a mom, potty training > (turning 35  + running 13 miles).

So tell me… where have you eaten your words? On parenting, on blogging, on having multiples?